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  What's your funniest joke?
Updated 07 January 2002, 19.49
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Britain's funniest joke has officially been announced by researchers.

But lots of people seem to agree it doesn't get them chuckling so we want to know what crackers you can come up with.

E-mail us with them now and we'll put the best ones up. But remember to keep them clean and not too rude about people!

Unfortunately this topic is now closed but there are Comments pages on other subjects on the main Chat index.

opening quoteWhat do you do when two snails have a fight?
Let them slug it out.
closing quote
May, 11, Canada

opening quoteWhat do you call a bird run over by a lawnmower?
Shredded tweet!
Finlay, 7, Upton

opening quoteWhich animals needs oiling?
Mice, because they squeak!
closing quote
Amy, 11, Birmingham

opening quotePupil: I think my teacher is in love with me.
Head teacher: Why?
Pupil: Because she keeps putting crosses on my work!
closing quote
Samara , 13, Manchester

opening quoteWhat do you get if you dial 0145 6987456425458745
A sore finger!
closing quote
Jodie, 13, Edinburgh

opening quoteSpell out 'pig' backwards and then say 'in my bed.'
G I P in my bed!
closing quote
Danielle, 10

opening quoteWhat do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh!
closing quote
Alice, 8, Bradford

opening quoteHow do you stop a Polar bear from charging?
Take away his credit card!
closing quote
Rhiannon, 8, Monmouth

opening quoteA woman was washing-up and a snail crawled across the window sill and she picked it up and threw it to the end of the garden. Three months later she heard a knock on the door and when she opens it, she sees the snail which squeaks up at her: "What did you do that for?!"closing quote
Rachel, 10, Reigate

opening quotePupil: I'm sorry I'm late. It's my new Velcro pyjamas.
Teacher: How did they make you late?
Pupil: I just couldn't tear myself out of bed.
closing quote
Freya, 10, Bristol

opening quoteWhat do you call 100 penguins in Albert Square? LOST!closing quote
Sam, 14, Selston

opening quoteWhat do witches use on their hair? Scare spray!closing quote
Anna, 13, London

opening quoteThere were two nuns in a car driving down the road when all of a sudden, a man jumped on to the wind screen. 'Show him your cross' one said. 'OK', she replied, 'GET OFF MY WINDSCREEN NOW'!!closing quote
Gemma, 12, Halifax

opening quoteA sausage walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bar man replies 'Sorry - we don't serve food!'closing quote
Nik , 12, Rickmansworth

opening quoteWhat's black and white and runs down the table. Derby County!closing quote
Victoria , 9, Ashby-de-la-Zouch

opening quoteI am on a strict diet, my doctor says I'm not allowed red meat. It's terrible, I haven't had any ketchup on my beef burgers for 4 weeks now.closing quote
Tomás , 13, Whitecross, Co. Armagh

opening quoteWhat did the stone say to the rock? Nothing it's just a stone.closing quote
Hannah , 13, Rickmansworth

opening quoteMy cat loves to watch the telly every day. What's his fave TV show? Mewsround!closing quote
Jonny , 13, East Coker

opening quoteWhat do you call an unwashed fairy? Stinkerbell!closing quote
Maya , 9, Loughborough

opening quoteA ghost walks into a pub and asks for beer. The person serving the ghost says we don't serve spirits!closing quote
Jon , 14, Grimsby

opening quoteA man walked into a bar - ouch!closing quote
Hannah , 12, Modbury

closing quote



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