 |
 |
Updated 07 January 2002, 19.49 

Britain's funniest joke has officially been announced by researchers.
But lots of people seem to agree it doesn't get them chuckling so we want to know what crackers you can come up with.
E-mail us with them now and we'll put the best ones up. But remember to keep them clean and not too rude about people!
Unfortunately this topic is now closed but there are Comments pages on other subjects on the main Chat index.
What do you do when two snails have a fight?
Let them slug it out. May, 11, Canada
What do you call a bird run over by a lawnmower? Shredded tweet! Finlay, 7, Upton
Which animals needs oiling?
Mice, because they squeak! Amy, 11, Birmingham
Pupil: I think my teacher is in love with me. Head teacher: Why? Pupil: Because she keeps putting crosses on my work! Samara , 13, Manchester
What do you get if you dial 0145 6987456425458745 A sore finger! Jodie, 13, Edinburgh
Spell out 'pig' backwards and then say 'in my bed.'
G I P in my bed! Danielle, 10
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh! Alice, 8, Bradford
How do you stop a Polar bear from charging? Take away his credit card! Rhiannon, 8, Monmouth
A woman was washing-up and a snail crawled across the window sill and she picked it up and threw it to the end of the garden. Three months later she heard a knock on the door and when she opens it, she sees the snail which squeaks up at her: "What did you do that for?!" Rachel, 10, Reigate
Pupil: I'm sorry I'm late. It's my new Velcro pyjamas.
Teacher: How did they make you late?
Pupil: I just couldn't tear myself out of bed.  Freya, 10, Bristol
What do you call 100 penguins in Albert Square? LOST! Sam, 14, Selston
What do witches use on their hair? Scare spray! Anna, 13, London
There were two nuns in a car driving down the road when all of a sudden, a man jumped on to the wind screen.
'Show him your cross' one said.
'OK', she replied, 'GET OFF MY WINDSCREEN NOW'!! Gemma, 12, Halifax
A sausage walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bar man replies 'Sorry - we don't serve food!' Nik
, 12, Rickmansworth
What's black and white
and runs down the table. Derby County! Victoria
, 9, Ashby-de-la-Zouch
I am on a strict diet, my doctor says I'm not allowed red meat. It's terrible, I haven't had any ketchup on my beef burgers for 4 weeks now. Tomás
, 13, Whitecross, Co. Armagh
What did the stone say to the rock? Nothing it's just a stone. Hannah
, 13, Rickmansworth
My cat loves to watch the telly every day. What's his fave TV show? Mewsround! Jonny
, 13, East Coker
What do you call an unwashed fairy? Stinkerbell! Maya
, 9, Loughborough
A ghost walks into a pub and asks for beer. The person serving the ghost says we don't serve spirits! Jon
, 14, Grimsby
A man walked into a bar - ouch! Hannah
, 12, Modbury

|
 |
|
 |
 |