WORLD WEDDINGS DJ Ray’s Big Day Tx Date: 19th May 2004 This script was made from audio tape – any inaccuracies are due to voices being unclear or inaudible 10.00.00 World Weddings Theme Music 10.00.05 Title Page WORLD WEDDINGS 10.00.09 Music 10.00.17 Narrator Ray Heim is forty-nine. He works three nights a week as a DJ in a singles bar on the Long Island Expressway just outside New York City. 10.00.26 Music 00.00.33 Narrator Ray has had a series of failed relationships and two divorces. But a year ago he fell in love with a thirty- six year old Russian lady on the Internet. 10.00.43 Music 10.00.44 Title Page DJ RAY’S BIG DAY 10.00.48 Ray Heim Natalia, believe it or not, I met her on Christmas Day. There was something about her look; there was something about her profile. I have a daughter whose thirteen years old, she has a daughter. It was like having a cigarette when that happened. I just couldn’t resist, I couldn’t stop. 10.01.10 Narrator Ray has been sending Natalia letters, presents, photos and even recorded messages from the studio in his house. 10.01.19 Ray Heim Yeah, ok, we’re all set. 10.01.24 Music 10.01.27 Ray’s message Hello Natalia. This is Ray from New York, America. Just wanted to say hello and I hope you enjoy this music. 10.01.38 Ray’s message Hello my sweet little Russian lady, Natalia. I don’t know how to tell you but I do love you. I know I do. Trust me. I never ever lost sleep about a lady that I never met. 10.01.53 Music 10.02.06 Narrator Two months later Ray arranged to meet Natalia. He forked out for a five day holiday in Vienna. 10.02.17 Ray Heim It was like something out of a movie. I opened up the doors and there she was standing there. I mean my heart dropped, my, my face dropped, my, my sugar rised. I, I, I, I just don’t know how to explain it but it was just such a great feeling and the best part of all, she was everything I thought of. You know I worried if maybe the pictures were wrong on the Internet. Maybe they fixed her up to make her look good. Maybe I’ll meet this woman and she didn’t take a bath in two days, I mean these are the kind of things that go through your mind. How can I say this? I had my heart set on getting engaged to this woman, I really didn’t know this woman that well. But the second day I was with her I said to myself; this is it and I’m doing it and I got engaged to her. Yeah. 10.03.13 Music 10.03.18 Natalia’s message Voice over My dear one. It is a good and joyful feeling to know that somewhere, even though it’s a long way away, there is someone good who thinks about me and says that he loves me. 10.03.30 Music 10.03.37 Natalia’s message Voice over I have already said that in our relationship you are the president and I am your assistant. 10.03.41 Music 10.03.51 Narrator Ray’s fiancé, Natalia, is still in Russia six months after they met. 10.03.58 Narrator He’s having serious problems getting her an American Visa. But she’s still dreaming of a new life for her and her eleven year old daughter Karina. 10.04.12 Natalia Voice over America. I think that America is a place where people are open and have confidence in themselves. I probably imagine America as well as the country of the big show, as a country where the people love going out. Where a lot of value is placed on the family, where they love children a lot, where children are treated well. That’s how I imagine it. 10.04.49 Narrator In her quest for a better life, Natalia signed on at an Internet marriage agency up the road called A Chance for Love. Across the former Soviet Union more than a hundred thousand Russian women are registered on line. 10.05.06 Narrator Men like Ray pay to get the contact details of the women they like the look of and the agency helps with the long and complicated process of obtaining a visa. 10.05.17 Narrator This international industry is almost completely unregulated. 10.05.24 Telephone ringing 10.05.31 Natalia Hello my darling. 10.05.33 Narrator When Natalia got engaged she gave up her flat and her job as a beautician. She’s staying with her mum, ready to leave at a moment’s notice. In the meantime Ray is supporting her. 10.05.46 Ray Heim What do you do tomorrow now? You are going to bank. I remember. I send you money. I send you money. I want you to buy everything you need. It’s Christmas time. I want you here for Christmas. If the Embassy ever let us be together. 10.06.19 Narrator Ray is struggling to qualify for the fiancé visa. He has to prove that he can support Natalia and her child for their first five years in America. But without a day job it isn’t easy. 10.06.33 Ray Heim It’s no fun to be alone, to sleep alone, wake up alone, make your own coffee. Some men can take that, some men are meant to be, some men are meant to be a bachelor for the rest of their lives and they like, how can I say, moving from woman to woman, it’s not my thing. 10.06.59 Ray Heim Here we go again. How many times? I want to send five hundred to her this time. 10.07.07 Narrator Once a week Ray wires money to Natalia in Russia. 10.07.10 Ray Heim Her name comes up right. 10.07.15 Narrator So far it’s cost him fifteen thousand dollars and there’s still no guarantee that they’ll get the visa. 10.07.24 Ray Heim Hopefully she’ll be here in the next couple of weeks. 10.07.27 Music 10.07.39 Narrator But even Ray’s meagre resources go a long way in Kazan. Natalia and her daughter Karina are the envy of the neighbourhood. 10.07.51 Natalia I had my hair like my daughter and my future husband say to me; Natalia, I want to see you hair blonde. I want you, you be like Madonna. And I say ok, I will be blonde woman and I paint my hair and paint my hair now every month. 10.08.28 Music 10.08.33 Narrator Karina is eleven. She doesn’t see her father anymore; he left them when she was only six. 10.08.39 Music 10.08.48 Narrator Karina has never met Ray. But she is excited about her new life in America. 10.08.58 Karina Subtitles This is my room. This is the living room, this is the kitchen. And this is the studio. 10.09.08 Karina’s friend Subtitle For all of them? 10.09.10 Karina Subtitle Yeah, it’s for all the DJs. 10.09.19 Natalia Voice over She so much wanted to have a father and when we used to walk along the street and a family would go by, she would say; Mummy, I really want to have a father, please find me a father. And I would say; oh, Karina, I’m trying, I’m trying. I know that you will have a father. 10.09.42 Karina He is a good Daddy. He is very, I don’t know how to say, but he is good for mama and for me. 10.10.05 Karina We must going to America and we must see the father. When we can’t go, I go to bedroom and cry. I say I don’t want eat, I don’t want drink, Mama, I want to see my father. And that’s all. 10.10.45 Music 10.10.53 Narrator But back in America, Ray has one daughter already. Becky only lives a mile up the road from her Dad. She hasn’t spoken to him for a year. 10.11.05 Music 10.11.09 Narrator And she doesn’t think much of his latest love interest. 10.11.12 Becky He met her on a dating service and then he saw her once like in France or wherever he went and married her. That’s like ridiculous; it’s just like so stupid. Like why would she want to come over here with a person she never met before except for like on-line, that’s like so stupid. Like you don’t even know the person fully and like she doesn’t even speak that much English I’ve heard and she has a daughter and she’s just like, like leaving her life in Russia or wherever she is, to come here to live with my Dad. I don’t think that has anything to do with like love or whatever. My mom thinks it’s really ridiculous too because she thinks that she just wants to come over here just to get to America with her daughter. 10.11.57 Car horn 10.12.03 Ray Heim If she wasn’t this serious; if I had any thought in my mind that she wasn’t so serious about me I wouldn’t be doing this. I wouldn’t have travelled thousands of miles to meet a woman if I wasn’t serious about her. Put it this way, I never loved anyone more than I love this person that I only met in one week. And it’s amazing. No one believes me. No one believes how true we really are. 10.12.29 Music 10.12.37 Narrator It’s now eight months since Ray and Natalia got engaged. His child is still not talking to him and without enough money to convince the Embassy of his financial security, his last hope for the visa is to find a friend who’s willing to back him. 10.12.51 Music 10.13.21 Narrator Nobody knows how many thousands of women like Natalia leave their families each year and make the journey into the unknown to marry American men. There’s growing concern for their well being once they arrive. This summer a bill goes before the US Congress to try and regulate the industry. 10.13.44 Aston NEW YEAR’S EVE 10.13.45 Woman How do you feel Ray? 10.13.46 Ray Heim Excited. I feel like I’m getting married for the tenth time. 10.13.50 Narrator After two more agonising weeks, Ray’s long wait is finally over. With the help of a friend, he’s got Natalia a visa. 10.14.00 Jim They’ll be fine, we’ll work through that, we’ll work through all that but you… 10.14.04 Ray Heim No, no, I’m very happy. It’s been a long wait. Do I look good? 10.14.09 Jim You look fine. 10.14.10 Ray Heim You think she’s going like what I look like. 10.14.26 Narrator Ray has brought his friend Jimmy to the airport because he was too nervous to drive. 10.14.33 Ray Heim Just check, see if it works. You have to wind it again. 10.14.43 Ray Heim You see that girl over there, she’s Russian. You can see, she’s probably waiting for Russian relatives, you can see it written all over their faces, they’ve got that little monkey face. 10.15.06 Ray meets Natalia at airport 10.15.18 Natalia Subtitle Don’t cry, I have make up. 10.15.32 Ray Heim How are you? 10.15.33 Karina I am fine. 10.15.37 Ray Heim Come on. Let’s go. You look good. Are we ready? You feel ok? 10.15.48 Interviewer How do you feel? 10.15.51 Natalia I am very happy. It’s my big dream. 10.15.59 Ray Heim You come over here; I want you next to me. Come on Karina, you come on this side. Right, we’re going to walk. Which way are we going Jim? You want to… 10.16.11 Music 10.16.33 Natalia Oh, very nice. 10.16.34 Ray Heim Your kitchen. Your dishwasher. You like? 10.16.46 Natalia Thank you. 10.16.47 Ray Heim Let me. Let’s go this way. Come this way. This is our washroom. 10.16.58 Natalia It’s my washroom too. 10.17.00 Ray Heim Yeah, your washroom, not my washroom any longer. You want to go upstairs? Come on Karina, I’ll show you your room. 10.17.13 Music 10.17.23 Ray Heim Hey Karina. This is all yours. 10.17.26 Karina Thank you. Wow. 10.17.33 Ray Heim Your bed. 10.17.33 Natalia My bed. My bed. My bed. 10.17.46 Ray Heim When you’re done we see pool. 10.17.49 Natalia Ok. 10.17.50 Ray Heim Kiss me. 10.18.06 Music 10.18.20 Narrator But this is not the end of Natalia’s journey. She now has ninety days in which to marry Ray. Or she’ll have to go back to Russia. 10.18.29 Music 10.18.42 Narrator Later that evening everyone is starting to settle in. 10.18.51 Ray Heim You think I make a good Daddy for Mummy? 10.18.53 Karina Yes. 10.18.55 Ray Heim You want. You want to go back to Russia. 10.19.03 Karina No. 10.19.04 Ray Heim Ok good, good. Phew. Phew. At least I got your approval. I don’t think Mama wants to go back. Mama want to go back? No. 10.19.14 Karina No. 10.19.16 Ray Heim She wants to stay with Daddy right. 10.19.20 Karina Yes. I have Daddy. I have Mama. And… 10.19.26 Ray Heim Sister. 10.19.27 Karina No. 10.19.28 Ray Heim Not yet. 10.19.29 Karina And I have a beautiful house. 10.19.31 Ray Heim Thank you. Thank you. Isn’t that nice? 10.19.38 Ray Heim You like sister. Becky? 10.19.41 Karina Yes. She’s beautiful. 10.19.44 Ray Heim So are you. I want Becky and you to be good sisters. 10.19.54 Ray Heim Speak English. 10.19.56 Natalia Karina help you. 10.19.58 Ray Heim Karina help me, I know. Karina will help me and Becky get back together. Right Karina. 10.20.04 Karina Yes. 10.20.04 Ray Heim Yes. She doesn’t understand. 10.20.07 Ray Heim I’ve got to teach her to, not put on. I’m a very fanatic here and children have their tendencies of making messes but she has to learn that she has to clean up after herself. Put this over here. Seeing her at the airport was a, it was an instant replay of when I met her in Austria. Instant. All I visualised as seeing her beauty looking at me when I saw her in Austria. What a beautiful woman, maybe that’s me. You know, other men may look at her and say she’s too tall. She’s a very tall woman. I don’t care what other men think, it’s what I wanted. I found what I wanted. And I believe she found what she wanted. 10.21.00 Music 10.21.09 Narrator For their first week Karina has been cooped up in the house with Ray and Natalia. But she’s not complaining. 10.21.18 Karina House wah and Dad, wah, wah, wah. 10.21.28 Narrator For DJ Ray it’s also been worth the wait. But he still hasn’t organised the wedding. 10.21.50 Ray Heim The way, the way to be happy is to meet a Russian bride. That’s the American man’s dream. You be ready for me when I come home darling? 10.22.02 Natalia Yeah. 10.22.05 Ray Heim Your husband goes to work now and makes money for us to eat. You got my cell number. Oh and don’t forget to shut them lights off when you’re done. No, no, not that one. When you’re done later, later, just shut everything off, make sure everything’s off. Don’t leave everything on all night. 10.22.28 Natalia Subtitle I am economical woman. 10.22.40 Natalia Subtitle Happy end. 10.22.59 Narrator It’s Karina’s first day of school. This will be the first time she’s been away from her Mum since they arrived. 10.23.24 Telephone rings 10.23.27 Narrator Two hours later the school calls to say that Karina is feeling sick. Without consulting Ray, Natalia has rushed out of the house to fetch her. 10.23.37 Ray Heim I want to know when something’s wrong, I want to know when, she says she’s sick and the next thing she is… she ran out of here in a huff, it was like I did something and boom she went. Karina’s all that’s on her mind and I don’t blame her, that’s her child but these are the kinds of things that we have to straighten out, she has to commute, she has to learn how to communicate to me. 10.24.01 Interviewer Has anything else happened in the last couple of days that makes you feel that way? 10.24.05 Ray Heim No, no, I’ve just been doing a lot of running and shopping. I try to give the kid everything she wants to, you know, she goes to the supermarket and they want oranges, they want this, they want that, I give, I give, I give, I don’t care. And not just to put money in front of everything, I don’t care about the money anymore. I don’t want to, I don’t want to spend all this money and then see six months down the tubes. You know, I like to keep communication going. She’s got to understand that I’m part of her life now, it’s not just her and Karina anymore, it’s me, her and Karina. 10.24.46 Ray Heim You… 10.24.47 Narrator Ray doesn’t believe Karina is really ill. 10.24.51 Ray Heim The nurse didn’t look at her. Are you sure? 10.24.56 Natalia Yeah. 10.24.57 Ray Heim But you weren’t there when she was sick. Maybe the nurse looked at her later. After. 10.25.04 Natalia Later? 10.25.05 Ray Heim No before you came. 10.25.07 Natalia No. 10.25.14 Ray Heim When you say Ray help, you know, I got to get back to school, you ran out of here, you didn’t give me five minutes. 10.25.21 Natalia Subtitle I can alone go to school. 10.25.26 Ray Heim Ok. 10.25.36 Priest To trust, to hope and to adore whatever comes. Love does not come to an end. This is the word of the Lord, thanks be to God. 10.25.37 Aston 19 FEBRUARY 2004 10.25.47 Narrator Four weeks later and it’s Natalia’s big day. Ray has quickly organised a wedding. 10.25.57 Priest We ask that you bless them, walk beside them and be with their family and friends as they support them in their married life. 10.26.05 Ray Heim We picked this day and we are doing it. And then of course I mean I think a little differently to other people because this isn’t my first marriage. I think that’s why I get a little shaky, now it’s two hours before, it’s like I’m going to the electric chair or something, I don’t know why I think like that, it’s bad, even though I love this woman because I loved before and I got burned. You know and that was American women, so, it does pass your mind a few times, you say, hey you know, I hope this thing really works. 10.26.39 Priest Could we bow for a special prayer? 10.26.42 Narrator It’s a small ceremony with a few friends in the local priest’s front room. 10.26.47 Priest Amen. I now address the groom. Raymond. You want to turn and look at her? 10.26.57 Ray Heim Ok. This way. 10.27.01 Priest Do you take Natalia to be your lawful wedded wife? To love her, comfort her, honour and keep her in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live. If so answer, I do. 10.27.17 Ray Heim I do. 10.27.20 Priest Natalia. Do you take Ray to be your lawful wedded husband? To love him, to comfort him, to keep him in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live? If so, say I do. 10.27.37 Natalia I do. 10.27.40 Ray Heim Oh, happy family. 10.27.46 Narrator Ray’s daughter Becky refused to come to the wedding. Her Dad wouldn’t let her bring a friend. 10.27.52 Music 10.27.59 Narrator But she is making an effort to help Karina feel at home. 10.28.02 Music 10.28.22 Becky You’re better than me. Karina; you’re better than me. 10.28.26 Narrator In three years time Karina and her Mum will become American citizens. 10.28.30 Music 10.28.33 Interviewer Is America like you imagined it? 10.28.37 Karina Yes. 10.28.40 Interviewer Like what? 10.28.42 Karina Like. See Russia, one piece of cake. And America, big chocolate cake, like this. 10.29.03 End music Credits 10.29.04 Narrator JOHN SIMM Camera PATTI MUSICARO Dubbing Mixer SUE MALPASS On-line Editor BOYD NAGLE Title Graphics WHY NOT ASSOCIATES Production Team JULIA DANNENBERG SARAH HANKS MARTHA O’SULLIVAN AGNES TEEK MILA TAUBKINA Production Manager JANE WILLEY Unit Manager SUSAN CRIGHTON Film Research NICK DODD Research OLLY BOOTLE Picture Editor IDA BREGNINGE Produced & Directed by LARA AGNEW 10.29.19 Executive Producer KAREN O’CONNOR Series Producer SAM BAGNALL www.bbc.co.uk/thisworld BBC © BBC MMIV 10.29.23 End BBC This World: World Weddings 1 1