WORLD WEDDINGS Mohammad and the Matchmaker Tx Date: 16th June 2004 This script was made from audio tape – any inaccuracies are due to voices being unclear or inaudible 10.00.00 Music 10.00.26 Narrator This is Mohammad; forty-seven and single. He lives with his mother in a flat in Tehran. He’s looking for a serious relationship with a view to marriage. 10.00.36 Music 10.00.37 Narrator But in twenty-first century Iran this is not as simple as it might be because Mohammad is also HIV positive. 10.00.44 Music 10.00.46 Narrator Arash Alaei is Mohammad’s doctor and friend. And he’s also going to be his matchmaker. 10.00.52 Music 10.00.59 Narrator Iran has the highest proportion of heroin addicts of any country in the world and a growing HIV crisis. 10.01.06 Music 10.01.08 Narrator In a country where people with HIV are often ostracised, Mohammad is one of the few with the courage to speak out about his disease. 10.01.15 Music 10.01.18 Narrator Looking for a wife is the beginning of a new chapter in his life. 10.01.25 World Weddings Theme Music 10.01.28 Title Page WORLD WEDDINGS 10.01.33 Aston MOHAMMAD AND THE MATCHMAKER 10.01.36 Narrator Mohammad has been clean of drugs for almost three years. But he contracted HIV by sharing needles. 10.01.46 Mohammad Voice over This park was my home. I ate, slept and shot drugs here. When it rained we’d sleep under here. 10.01.56 Mohammad Voice over It’s not a good feeling to be here. But it’s good to come back once in a while, just to remind myself where I was and where I am now. 10.02.11 Mohammad Voice over They’ve taken my bed! My bed was here. Right here. There was a bench just like that one which I used to sleep on. 10.02.27 Mohammad Voice over I really suffered here in this park. 10.02.33 Narrator Mohammad’s doctor, Arash, has achieved world renown for his work with HIV and Aids patients in Iran. 10.02.41 Mohammad Subtitles It always hurts here. Yeah, right here. 10.02.49 Narrator For the last three years he’s become much more than just a doctor to Mohammad. He’s looked after him emotionally as well as medically. 10.02.59 Music 10.03.04 Mohammad Voice over It amazes me to see a doctor who cares so much for his patients. Dr Alaei gives them so much time and energy. I’ve even seen him spend his own money on his patients. He’s a kind of inspiration for me; a guiding light in my life. 10.03.20 Narrator The doctor’s relationship with Mohammad has become so close that he’s now helping him in his search for love. 10.03.26 Music 10.03.28 Narrator They’re going to the doctor’s home town of Kermanshah to introduce Mohammad to a potential bride; a widow who is also HIV positive. 10.03.35 Music 10.03.46 Arash Voice over Think about your future. What kind of future would you like with your wife? 10.03.52 Mohammad Voice over No one can foresee the future. 10.03.55 Arash Voice over I mean what would you like to happen? 10.03.58 Mohammad Voice over I hope they find a cure for Aids and we all forget about it. I don’t care about myself but I’d like her to be cured. That’s what I’d like to happen. 10.04.10 Narrator At Arash’s family house in Kermanshah, his brother Kamiar, who is also a doctor, is trying to arrange a time and a place for the meeting. 10.04.22 Kamiar Voice over Could you come to the hospital tomorrow so you can meet him and talk with him. I’m not saying that you should marry him just keep him in mind as a possibility. You know, you can chat, exchange phone numbers. Then you can decide if you’re good for each other or not. 10.04.42 Kamiar Voice over Don’t worry about it; bring your mother along as well. 10.04.54 Arash Voice over Can you help her cope with her illness? 10.04.58 Mohammad Voice over I can give her courage; do my best to help her accept the facts. This virus is not something you should be ashamed of. Every month they discover a new lethal disease in this world. This is only one of them. 10.05.16 Arash Voice over Do you want your wife to have a job or be a housewife? 10.05.21 Mohammad Voice over Housewife’s better. 10.05.23 Music 10.05.41 Narrator It’s the night before the date. If Mohammad is nervous he’s not letting on. 10.05.46 Music 10.05.53 Narrator The doctors try to keep his mind off things with a rendition of an Iranian easy listening classic. 10.05.58 Singing 10.06.10 Narrator Next morning and the meeting is on. Maryam is just twenty-one and has brought her mother with her. 10.06.16 Music 10.06.24 Arash Subtitle Let’s see when Kamiar’s bringing her. 10.06.29 Mohammad Subtitle Don’t worry about it, it will be fine. 10.06.33 Arash Subtitles Hi, Kamiar, where are you? Alright then, see you soon. 10.06.47 Narrator Maryam lives with her family in a small town outside Kermanshah. Her life in the country is a world away from Mohammad’s in cosmopolitan Tehran. For the match to work she would have to leave everything behind. 10.07.01 Kamiar Subtitle Are you worried? 10.07.05 Maryam Subtitle No, just a bit anxious. 10.07.10 Arash Subtitles Miss Maryam. Mohammad. This is Miss Maryam’s mother. 10.07.22 Mohammad Subtitle Hello. How do you do, ma’am? 10.07.25 Maryam’s mother Subtitle Please, after you. 10.07.27 Narrator Maryam was given the HIV virus by her husband; a drug addict who died of Aids. So Mohammad’s chequered past makes her suspicious. 10.07.40 Arash Subtitles Why don’t they bring us some tea? We’re dying of thirst. 10.07.47 Kamiar Subtitles Maybe it’s better that you have a private talk… so that you can get to know each other. There may be things you want to talk about without us around. 10.08.05 Maryam Voice over I’m sorry; how old are you? 10.08.07 Mohammad Voice over What do you think? 10.08.08 Maryam Voice over Forty? 10.08.09 Mohammad Voice over I could be sixty but feel like a twenty year old. 10.08.13 Maryam Voice over Yeah maybe, but I still want to know. 10.08.15 Mohammad Voice over I see, you just want to know. I was born in nineteen fifty- five. I think it’s better to be honest from the beginning. 10.08.24 Maryam Voice over So that makes you how old? 10.08.26 Mohammad Voice over Forty-seven. 10.08.27 Maryam Voice over But my mother’s only forty-one. 10.08.31 Mohammad Voice over I’ve always had fun in my life so everyone tells me I look much younger than my age. 10.08.41 Maryam Voice over How long were you an addict? 10.08.44 Mohammad Voice over For ages; I first got into drugs in nineteen seventy-five. 10.08.51 Maryam Voice over Did you inject? 10.08.52 Mohammad Voice over Yes, more recently. 10.08.54 Maryam Voice over Only recently? 10.08.55 Mohammad Voice over Yeah, in the beginning I used to smoke opium. After the revolution I got into heroin. 10.09.04 Narrator Even though Mohammad is more than twice her age, Maryam has little choice but to consider him as a potential partner. 10.09.14 Maryam Voice over There are plenty of young men who want to marry me but I could never do that because they haven’t got the virus. If they caught it I’d feel really guilty. It’s very hard to accept that through no fault of my own I’ve got this pain and disease in my body. It’s awful. 10.09.31 Mohammad Voice over Why awful? Think about the present not the past. 10.09.36 Maryam Voice over I know but it’s an awful thing. My father is addicted to opium. He’s a retired revolutionary guard and was injured during the war. He’s a rude old man but I love him. My parents love me too despite this disease. They just try to comfort me and soothe my pain. 10.10.21 Mohammad Voice over What should we do now? Do you want to live? Do you want to enjoy each moment of your life? Or do you want to lie down in the direction of Mecca and prepare for death? If I did that I know I would die earlier. If I got depressed I’d die sooner. I’m like a three year old now. At Narcotics Anonymous we celebrate each year of giving up drugs as a birthday. 10.10.50 Music 10.10.52 Maryam Voice over So by the time I’ve brought you up I’ll be cured. 10.10.55 Mohammad Voice over Yeah, we can grow up together. The important thing is my happy personality. 10.11.05 Maryam Voice over I’m a happy person too but when I get upset you’ll need to be able to deal with it. 10.11.09 Mohammad Voice over Of course, human beings are like that. One day we’re up the next day we’re down. 10.11.14 Maryam Voice over Are you bad tempered? 10.11.16 Mohammad Voice over No. 10.11.16 Maryam Voice over Do you get angry? 10.11.17 Mohammad Voice over Quickly. 10.11.18 Maryam Voice over Would you beat your wife? 10.11.20 Mohammad Voice over Never. 10.11.21 Maryam Voice over That’s good. 10.11.23 Mohammad Voice over I don’t like wife beaters. 10.11.25 Music 10.11.35 Narrator After an anxious two hour wait, matchmaking doctor Arash is keen to know what Maryam makes of Mohammad. 10.11.43 Arash Voice over Did you like the flowers he gave you? 10.11.45 Maryam Voice over Yes, but I’m still not sure. 10.11.48 Arash Voice over Tell us more. 10.11.51 Maryam Voice over I’m worried that he’ll go back to the drugs. That really worries me. If he could give up cigarettes I’d be more convinced that he wouldn’t go back to drugs but you know he can’t even give up smoking. 10.12.04 Music 10.12.09 Narrator Later in the evening the doctors quiz Mohammad about his impressions of Maryam. 10.12.17 Mohammad Voice over She’s very depressed and lonely; she’s a very different kind of person to me. 10.12.25 Arash Voice over What did you feel when you gave her the flowers? 10.12.29 Mohammad Voice over Well, I buy flowers for all my friends. 10.12.32 Arash Voice over I’m asking you about her. 10.12.34 Mohammad Voice over I heard that it’s her birthday; it was just polite to give her flowers. 10.12.41 Arash Voice over How much of your heart was in those flowers? 10.12.44 Mohammad Voice over Well I was with Kamiar and I couldn’t find any better flowers. 10.12.50 Arash Voice over I’m asking you about your heart not the flowers. 10.12.54 Mohammad Voice over That’s a personal question Doc. 10.13.03 Mohammad Voice over Well there was something in it. It wasn’t an empty gesture. You finally caught me out. 10.13.11 Narrator Despite Mohammad’s interest, things are not looking good for the romance. On a visit to the doctor’s family, Maryam shares her doubts about Mohammad. 10.13.23 Maryam Voice over Even though Mohammad looks young he’s too old for me. We don’t speak the same language. From the way he talks and the way he thinks there’s no way we could ever be a happy couple. 10.13.37 Maryam’s mother Voice over The main problem for Maryam is financial. If she had the means to be independent I don’t think she’d have all these problems with her illness. 10.13.49 Maryam Voice over I either want to die in the next four or five years or get cured. I can’t live like this. It’s like being in a coma the whole time. I can’t move forward like this. It’s as if my life has stopped and I’m stuck in a bubble. 10.14.13 Maryam’s mother Voice over I understand what you’re saying but in a few years’ time they’ll definitely find a cure for this virus because the whole world’s looking for it. 10.14.22 Music 10.14.29 Narrator There are more than three million hard drug users in Iran; one in twenty of the population. Opium and heroin flood over the border from Afghanistan and in spite of the Islamic Republic’s Draconian laws against drug use, heroin addicts are a common sight on the streets of Tehran. 10.14.47 Music 10.14.55 Narrator Arash works tirelessly with the drug addicts, treating them as patients rather than criminals. In Iran this is a revolutionary approach. 10.15.04 Music 10.15.07 Narrator Sharing needles is the most common source of HIV infection in Iran. And Arash fears that unless the problem is addressed the epidemic will sweep through the population. 10.15.20 Arash Voice over Do you sometimes use other people’s needles? 10.15.23 Junkie Voice over If I don’t have a needle, I have to use someone else’s needle. 10.15.27 Arash Voice over Do you know anything about Aids? 10.15.28 Junkie Voice over I’ve heard about it but I know nothing about it. 10.15.37 Arash Voice over Do you know how you get Aids? 10.15.40 Junkie Voice over Blood transfusions and homosexuals. Needles. 10.15.47 Arash Voice over You know that you can get Aids by sharing needles but you still do it. 10.15.52 Junkie Voice over Yeah. 10.15.55 Arash Voice over But why? 10.15.58 Junkie Voice over I do it when I’m desperate. When you’re desperate for drugs you don’t think about these things. You won’t definitely get Aids but you’ll definitely get high. 10.16.09 Arash Voice over How do you feel when you shoot up? 10.16.13 Junkie Voice over I forget my pain. I become a normal human being again. 10.16.20 Arash Voice over Do you enjoy shooting up? 10.16.23 Junkie Voice over Not when I haven’t got enough drugs. 10.16.25 Arash Voice over Do you shoot up to become normal or to have fun? 10.16.30 Junkie Voice over It soothes my pain. I use it as a tranquiliser. 10.16.37 Music 10.16.50 Mohammad Voice over The number of heroin addicts increased after the revolution; we never had many junkies before then. It’s just because of boredom. Young people don’t have anything to do for fun and that’s why they get into drugs. In a way they just want to fill their empty lives with drugs. 10.17.09 Narrator Mohammad has been a member of Narcotics Anonymous for almost three years. As well as keeping him clean of drugs, the sessions have had an unexpected benefit. He has finally found himself a girlfriend. 10.17.25 Mohammad Voice over As soon as she walked into the meeting we spotted each other. She told me that she felt she could talk to me straight away. She’s told me things that she’s not even told her mother. She feels safe with me. 10.17.43 Narrator Mohammad’s new girlfriend, Fereshteh, is thirty- three. She’s divorced and has a history of alcohol and drug abuse. 10.17.54 Narrator Unlike Maryam, Fereshteh is not HIV positive. It took Mohammad ten days to pluck up the courage to tell her his secret. 10.18.06 Mohammad Voice over I told her I had something important to tell her but it had to be at the right moment. 10.18.12 Fereshteh Voice over You kept saying I’ll tell you about it tomorrow. 10.18.20 Mohammad Voice over I had to force myself to do it but finally I managed to tell her that I was HIV positive. I swore I would never give it to her. I promised her that she wouldn’t get the virus from me. 10.18.36 Fereshteh Voice over I didn’t know what he was going to tell me. I thought he had been hiding his wife and children from me. I kept on thinking that he was married. I prepared myself for the moment when he would reveal his secret. I wouldn’t want to ruin another woman’s life by going out with her husband. 10.18.59 Narrator In the space of a month Mohammad and Fereshteh have become inseparable. Neither of them has a job and they both live with their parents. Tonight, Fereshteh’s mother is not home. 10.19.13 Mohammad Voice over Let me get some bread and something to drink. I’ve never done this kind of work before. But now I have to do a lot of things that I didn’t like before. 10.19.24 Fereshteh Voice over Are you forced to or is it love? 10.19.27 Mohammad Voice over Well, it’s love but there’s also an obligation. The Iranian man is a traditional man. He likes eating but doesn’t know much about helping at home. 10.19.37 Fereshteh Voice over Help me with this then. 10.19.43 Mohammad Voice over What did your mother say about me after that first meeting? 10.19.46 Fereshteh Voice over She was quite positive. 10.19.49 Mohammad Voice over Thank God. 10.19.52 Fereshteh Voice over She was just worried about the addiction thing. 10.19.55 Mohammad Voice over Well she should. She’s a mother. 10.20.01 Mohammad Voice over It’s difficult for people to understand how we can give up drugs for good. There’s no guarantee here. I wanted to be honest from the very beginning. Narcotics Anonymous tells us that we could never say we won’t do drugs again. We have to try to be clean today. That’s all. 10.20.22 Narrator What Mohammad and Fereshteh are doing can be dangerous in Iran. Being an unmarried couple is technically illegal. 10.20.29 Narrator Their only option is to get married. But that worries Arash because he doesn’t know Fereshteh and because Mohammad has no means of supporting a family. 10.20.41 Arash Voice over I’m single as well and when my friends ask me why I don’t get married I say it’s because I don’t have a house of my own. Also, I don’t know if I’ll have a fixed income to live on. And really I don’t know how much time I could give to a partner. 10.21.00 Fereshteh Voice over It’s been ten years since my divorce and I’ve finally found someone who can understand me and give me peace of mind. I don’t want to lose him at any price. 10.21.17 Narrator In spite of the doctor’s doubts Mohammad and Fereshteh have decided to get married. 10.21.22 Music 10.21.24 Narrator As with every milestone in his life, Mohammad has decided to bless the special day with a new pair of sunglasses. 10.21.30 Music 10.21.32 Narrator And he’s buying the bride a new headscarf. 10.21.34 Music 10.21.44 Narrator But their decision is not as rash as it seems. This is not going to be a typical marriage, even in Iran. They’ve opted for a unique Shia Muslim institution – the temporary marriage. This allows couples to live together without fear of persecution. And without having to make a lifelong commitment. 10.22.06 Narrator Fereshteh and Mohammad have come to a notary to register their marriage. Arash has come to offer moral support. 10.22.13 Notary Subtitles This is a temporary marriage. It has to be for a certain time period. How long is it for? 10.22.20 Mohammad Subtitle Six months. 10.22.24 Narrator In the Shia legal system a couple can only opt for a temporary marriage if the woman has, like Fereshteh, been married before. The man has to agree an alimony, to be paid if he terminates the marriage before the appointed time. 10.22.39 Notary Subtitle How much is the alimony? 10.22.43 Mohammad Subtitle She should decide. 10.22.45 Fereshteh Subtitle Whatever. 10.22.47 Mohammad Subtitle You have to say it, not me. Fereshteh Subtitle I wouldn’t ask for anything. 10.22.50 Mohammad Subtitle It’s what people do. Fereshteh Subtitle What? 10.22.52 Mohammad Subtitle You have to say an amount of alimony. 10.22.55 Notary Subtitles You are getting temporarily married for six months. And you have to agree on a price which would be your alimony. 600,000, 700,000, or one million. 10.23.08 Arash Subtitle Or a flower. 10.23.14 Notary Subtitle I have to write down a price here. 10.23.17 Fereshteh Subtitle A flower. 10.23.18 Notary Subtitles No, you have to put down a price for the flower. 10.23.22 Mohammad Subtitles Whatever you say, sir. We don’t want to haggle here. 10.23.26 Notary Subtitle Alright, I’ll put a number here. 10.23.28 Arash Subtitles Should they renew their marriage when the six months is over? 10.23.34 Notary Subtitles If they don’t, they will be committing a sin. 10.23.37 Arash Subtitle So they must renew before six months? 10.23.40 Notary Subtitle A few days before would do. 10.23.43 Interviewer Subtitle What’s the shortest temporary marriage? 10.23.45 Notary Subtitles The minimum can be an hour or less. An hour, maybe half an hour. During this time, they can have relations legitimately. That’s no problem. 10.24.00 Interviewer Subtitle And the maximum? 10.24.02 Notary Subtitles Of course, a 99-year temporary marriage is perfectly possible. It can be 100 years, or 60 or 40. It doesn’t matter. 10.24.12 Notary Subtitles Mrs Fereshteh Sanati and Mr Mohammad Ostadnazar… can I pronounce you man and wife? 10.24.18 Fereshteh Subtitle Yes. 10.24.19 Notary Subtitle And you? Mohammad Subtitle Yes, fine. 10.24.21 Notary Subtitles I pronounce you, Fereshteh and Mohammad, married for a certain period of time… and a certain amount of alimony. 10.24.36 Arash Subtitle I hope your marriage lasts for 500 years. 10.24.42 Music 10.24.57 Narrator Mohammad and Fereshteh are trying to lead a normal life even though he is HIV positive and she isn’t. 10.25.03 Music 10.25.05 Narrator Fereshteh shares her concerns with her doctor, Arash, on a regular basis. 10.25.20 Arash Voice over How are you? 10.25.21 Fereshteh Voice over Fine. 10.25.28 Fereshteh Voice over When we have sex I feel he’s really scared of giving me the virus. Although he takes all the precautions, I still feel he’s really afraid of it. I said to him; look, I’ve accepted this issue, so why can’t you accept it yourself. 10.25.53 Arash Voice over I’ll talk to him about it. But just for you information, I can assure you that if you use a condom there’s nothing to worry about. And if the condom breaks just tell me. Do you enjoy sex with him? 10.26.08 Fereshteh Voice over Very much. 10.26.09 Arash Voice over Does he satisfy you? 10.26.11 Fereshteh Voice over Yes, I’m very happy with him. 10.26.16 Mohammad Voice over Look at this. This is my first birthday. 10.26.23 Narrator Tonight, Mohammad is going to his birthday party. 10.26.31 Narrator At Narcotics Anonymous each anniversary of giving up drugs is celebrated as a birthday. 10.26.38 Narrator Today, Mohammad is three. 10.26.41 Mohammad Voice over New shoes. You know, I like my Narcotics Anonymous birthday better than my real birthday since it’s a kind of rebirth for me. With God’s help I hope I can remain on this path. 10.26.58 Narrator It’s a night for Mohammad’s closest friends and family. For Mohammad’s mother there is a lot to celebrate. 10.27.10 Arash Subtitle How are you ma’am? 10.27.12 Mohammad’s mother Subtitle I’m fine thank God. 10.27.14 Arash Subtitle How do you feel about this day? 10.27.16 Mohammad’s mother Subtitles It feels really good to have Mohammad by my side. It can’t get any better than this. I never knew where Mohammad slept, or where he lived. I used to cry day and night. 10.27.37 Music 10.27.47 Narrator No one knows the true extent of HIV infection in Iran. The Islamic Republic has been reluctant to accept the reality of an epidemic linked to widespread drug taking. But with the help of his friends, his family and his doctor, Arash, Mohammad has taken the first steps towards a new life with Fereshteh. 10.28.08 End Music Credits 10.28.20 Narrator JOHN SIMM Dubbing Mixer SUE MALPASS On-line Editor JOE BENTLEY Title Graphics WHY NOT ASSOCIATES Production Team JULIA DANNENBERG SARAH HANKS MARTHA O’SULLIVAN AGNES TEEK Production Manager JANE WILLEY Unit Manager SUSAN CRIGHTON Film Research NICK DODD Picture Editors SAFI FERRAH IDA BREGNINGE Directed and Filmed by MAZIAR BAHARI 10.28.40 Executive Producer KAREN O’CONNOR Series Producer SAM BAGNALL www.bbc.co.uk/thisworld BBC © BBC MMIV 10.28.42 End BBC This World: World Weddings 1 1