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Monday, 16 January 2006, 23:52 GMT

Words that may come back to haunt

Sketch
By Nick Assinder
BBC News political correspondent

Jaguar So just what, if anything, would you be prepared to sacrifice to become the leader of a political party or even prime minister?

It is a question most politicians are relieved never to be asked. But would-be Lib Dem leader Sir Menzies Campbell was in a spot - so he blurted out a sensational commitment that may yet come back to haunt him.

His beloved 20-year-old Jaguar car, seen by many as the perfect symbol of his campaign, is going to have to go.

Oh the betrayal! Ming the merciless indeed.

In one apparently impulsive moment he crushed a loving relationship that has survived for years.

Gas guzzling monster

But no longer. It's over, it just doesn't work any more. So the purring, thirsty, leather- and wood-trimmed beast is to be unceremoniously dumped.

After all, no-one wishing to lead the Liberal Democrats could be seen cruising around the country in a gas-guzzling monster, no matter how iconic and British it may be.

It may be fine for John Prescott - or maybe not - but for a leader of the party that claims it was first to put the environment top of its agenda? Madness.

The shock commitment came as the four wannabe leaders - Sir Menzies, Simon Hughes, Mark Oaten and Chris Huhne - were taking part in their first live TV debate on Sky News.

Sir Menzies Campbell

All was going swimmingly, with the four men agreeing on just about everything and being very nice to each other. In other words, dull.

There were a few disagreements over allowing NHS patients to have operations in private hospitals, as supported by Mr Oaten.

And there was a bit of a spat over whether smoking should be banned in all public places.

Ming said maybe; Mark said no, a ban would not be liberal; Chris, a born again non-smoker said yes; and Simon said it was a free vote so it was OK for him to say no.

But then the end of civilisation as we know it raised its head. Well, the environment and global warming did, which is sort of the same thing.

Two Jags?

And the heat was instantly placed on Ming the merciless as it was pointed out that Chris Huhne drives a duel fuel, petrol-electric Toyota Prius, about the most right-on, four wheeled transport available with an engine that doesn't cut grass.

Simon Hughes' yellow black cab, if you know what I mean, is probably acceptable and I don't know about Mark Oaten's CO2 habit because it didn't get that far before Sir Menzies was in the firing line.

Was it true that, like John Prescott, he had two Jags, he was asked.

There was a horrible pause during which he appeared to be contemplating whether to simply admit to this Lib Dem sin of sins and ritually disembowel himself on the spot.

Charles Kennedy

But he snapped out of it. He has one, 20-year-old car which, he shamefully confessed, was his "pride and joy".

"But we all have to change our habits," he said before trying to move on quickly.

Hold on, hold on. So the Jag goes, does it? There was no way out. "Yep".

Timing is everything

His regret was obvious for all to see - indeed was there just a hint of moisture in the corner of his eye?

The shock was so overwhelming that it almost completely overshadowed Mr Huhne's pledge to raise domestic fuel bills.

Surely there could be no greater sign of his commitment to the job, his willingness to make sacrifices to serve his party than this?

But wait. In politics, as in comedy, timing is everything. Will Sir Menzies be dumping the old girl now, straight away?

Or will he prove he is a consummate politician and find a good excuse to hold onto it until he knows whether he has won the leadership contest or not?



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