Dreaming of the chequered flag

If the stark reality of your life is just humdrum nine to five, mow the lawn, feed the cat and burn the toast, there is no doubt that you daydream from time to time.

I used to daydream 24 hours a day. I was in a racing car on a racetrack.

But since I spent my childhood writing funny stories instead of begging for a racing kart, I never got to compete with Northern Ireland's current Formula 1 hero Eddie Irvine for his place in the Jordan team, where he launched his F1 career.

However an itch is an itch, and now I have scratched it.

For a considerable but not ridiculous amount of money, I signed up for a lesson in how to drive on one of the most famous racing tracks anywhere - Brands Hatch.

All the big names have raced there, including Ayrton Senna and Sir Stirling Moss.

It is split into two sections - the longer Grand Prix circuit, and the original Indy circuit, which was once one of the most famous, and dangerous race tracks in the world.

The latter was the one I was to drive on.

After a briefing on safety and technique, I drove around the circuit in a 180 brake horse power four-wheel-drive Audi TT Quattro.

Points were taken away from 100 for any mistakes I made.

I got 79 - not because I am the next Ayrton Senna. It was more to do with me having driven around circuits before and knowing the technique.

The fact that a three-year-old could drive the TT with a bit of pace without looking silly also helped. It is as docile as it is beautiful.

Then it was the big time. The brass bands, dancing girls, fireworks and paper hats. I was going to drive a racing car.

There was, however, one niggle. Physically speaking, I am to motor racing what Robbie Coltrane is to lap dancing. I also have size 12 feet.

I was in fear that this would become an exercise akin to dressing Mike Tyson in a tutu.

I was fine though. With the four-point safety harness strapping me down, I could barely move. But it all felt so real. Especially when I stalled - twice.

Light car

One handy safety feature is the engine rev limiter, set at 4,000. Now this is good if you have never done this before.

The car is light and very quick, and it would be silly to let a novice blast about at full pelt.

Your backside is three inches above the ground, the wind is rushing past you at an alarming rate, and you are wearing a helmet.

To the uninitiated it should feel fast enough.

The downside is, if you know a bit about performance driving, you could get bored quickly. The first set of laps, I admit, blew me away.

There is one corner at Brands, Paddock Hill Bend, that is fast and technical in any car.

In the single-seater for the first time, it is almost a mind altering experience.

However, after just a few laps, I started pushing, and pushing, only to be pulled into the pits to be told to slow down.

I was "only meant to be having fun". I now tell everyone I meet that I was told to slow down at Brands Hatch.

Minutes later, my laps were completed. Nerves sparking like fuses, I climbed from the cockpit.

My adrenalin levels were hitting the roof and the second I took my helmet off and the sounds of the real world filled my ears, I realised it was all over.

I felt like the wine connoisseur who has been given the best bottle of claret in existence, but told only to drink one glass.

But I had the lived the dream, and the memories will never fade.