Head teacher Brenda Wilson, speaking at the annual conference of the Professional Association of Teachers, attacked the pressures on pupils, parents and teachers created by the current admissions system.
And she called instead for children to attend their nearest local schools - saying that "Hobson's choice is better than parental choice".
"Parental choice is and always has been an illusion," she said, arguing that false expectations caused much distress for families.
"Parental choice has increased parental anxiety without necessarily increasing their satisfaction," she said.
'Intimidating'
Under the system of parental choice, parents are allowed to apply to any state school for a place for their children.
But because popular schools are heavily oversubscribed, it means that many families are unable to obtain a place in their first choice school.
Disputes over places have steadily increased in recent years, with appeals tribunals having a growing caseload of unhappy parents.
In her speech to the conference, Ms Wilson argued that school gate politics could be a destructive force, with parents pressured into seeking places in popular schools.
These parents could be an "intimidating force", she said, reflecting the degree of worry felt by parents about finding a place.
"Parents start worrying about their school choices long before their child is due to take up their place."
"I had a mother in tears in my office this year because she wanted to do the best for her child but didn't feel herself competent to make judgements on educational grounds."
"She eventually made her choice on the issue of urinals," said Ms Wilson.
Admissions changes
Instead of putting money into specialist schools, Ms Wilson called on the government to ensure that "all schools provide a good education wherever they are".
A government spokesperson said that changes to the application process were under consideration.
"Ministers are considering changes to the school admissions framework and plan to consult on detailed proposals in the early autumn."
But plans were likely to be a "clarification" of parents' rights, rather than a limiting of parental preference, said the spokesperson.