| FEARFUL FELLAS |
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WORRIED WOMEN |
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If - strangely - she invites you out to dinner, refuse at all costs. Isn't there a work do you could go to? It is a Tuesday night, after all. |
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Remind him that you hate to do things just because it's tradition. After all, isn't that what he said on Valentine's Day?
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Beware the words: "Sweetie, can we talk?" Hijack the conversation immediately with news of a close friend getting divorced or a harrowing account of your own parents' marriage break-up. |
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"There's 29 days in February this year? Oh no, that means it's yet another day until I get paid." There's nothing like financial worries to cool the ardour.
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If a phone conversation gets out of hand, use this phrase: "Crrrcccchhhrrrrrr - you're breaking up - crrrcccchhhrrrrrr - tunnel ..." |
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Go for the sport angle. "Oh, is it really leap year? Is that the same year as the World Cup, or is it the Olympics?"
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Even if you're on a normal phone.
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Speak loudly on the phone to your friend about the time you asked your ex to marry you on 29 Feburary. How you'll laugh!
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Don't agree to go on a last minute trip to Paris.
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Quite simply, stay away from all alcohol.
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Seem pained and preoccupied all day. If asked what's wrong, say: "Oh, nothing, it must just be something I ate yesterday, that's all." Interrupt the flow of any serious sounding "chat" with regular trips to the bathroom.
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Whatever you do, turn down any offers to do with baths, massages, champagne or candlelight. It means he's scoured the women's magazines for tips on seduction. |
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Just don't go home after work. Turn phones off altogether.
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Isn't that big project just about to hit deadline? You'll probably be stuck at work all evening - which is a terrible shame, because you really were looking forward to that special dinner he'd planned.
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Reply to emails "Sorry, I shall be out of the office all day today. I'll be back on 1 March."
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That girlfriend that got married last year. It's no coincidence that he's suddenly invited her around.
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If she asks you to go for a walk with her, just get on the bus, Gus.
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Do the old-fashioned thing. Pick a fight. |
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