That is the considered verdict of Mary-Catherine Lader, the 15-year-old daughter of the US ambassador to London.
Miss Lader made her opinions known in an article which appeared in Tatler magazine.
She said that in the three years she has been in London she has come to the conclusion "British boys really suck".
Despite their "sexy" accent, she has been unimpressed by boring, scrawny lads since she arrived from South Carolina.
"I'm tempted to give up on relationships with British boys," she wrote in Tatler magazine.
Miss Lader said: "At first I gave all the boys who had underwhelmed me the benefit of the doubt but, after three years, I've finally distinguished what it is - that American guys have it and Brits don't.
"After being set up with various public schoolboys, dating ordinary Londoners and enduring a great number of drunken stories at parties, I have a new-found appreciation for American guys."
Miss Lader, who goes to the all-girl school St Paul's, joins film star Minnie Driver in the lad attack.
Ms Driver recently said British men who had taken her out were "cheap".
Miss Lader added: "Constant sunshine and the obsession with sport fills US high schools with tanned, athletic guys.
"British boys seem to be a little more scrawny, pale and unhealthy looking.
Too fast
"Even most British girls I know admit that American guys beat their English counterparts when it comes to looks."
Boys in Britain are "anti-social and sulking", says Miss Lader, who also said they were too quick to move to first base.
"I'm not sure it's actually possible to become friends with a British teenage guy. He'll befriend you because he fancies your friends, or once you've already dated him.
"His idea of a conversation is to ask two questions and then...feel entitled to stick his tongue down your throat."
Tatler said Miss Lader, who has a 13-year-old sister, Whittaker, sent them the article before her father had the chance to read it.
Her father, Philip Lader, has been ambassador since September 1997 and previously served as President Clinton's administrator of the US Small Business Administration and was White House Deputy Chief of Staff in Washington DC.
The Lader family have a permanent home in Hilton Head, South Carolina.
A US Embassy spokesman said: "We don't comment on private views."