The excitement has been building for weeks and now the election's almost upon us. To make Thursday night go with a swing (not the Peter Snow variety), the Magazine has devised some fun and games for a results night party.
Election aficionados may argue all the ingredients are already there for a cracking night - parties, speeches, tension - so how to improve on perfection? But even they will be impressed with our plethora of activities guaranteed to take you through to the small hours of Friday morning without so much as a stifled yawn.
There's bingo, sweepstakes and party leader masks, plus a list of the key moments to look out for. There's even e-mailable invitations (see the link on the right) to send to friends, and crib sheets that will help you impress them with your extensive political trivia.
By way of return, the Magazine asks just one small favour - we'd like to see your party pictures. E-mail them to us at email@example.com (reading this page of instructions first) and we'll publish the best ones on Friday.
This is bingo with a twist. For once, you won't be fed up to hear the tired old cliches - you'll be demanding them, because a mixture of well-worn phrases, names and jargon make up our bingo cards.
Each player has a bingo card which you can find by downloading and printing via the link on the right. Then watch the BBC's election coverage and cross off your boxes as you hear the words spoken on the television.
When you've filled a row of three, or your whole card, depending on your stamina, shout "Full House of Commons".
A victory speech is mandatory.
On the right, you'll also find links to your party leader masks, which double up as posters.
The Magazine would not encourage gambling, but instead of good, hard, tax-free cash, we suggest any kind of treat could be up for grabs. Maybe the host's political biography of choice?
Click on the link on the right and you'll find 10 sweepstake tickets representing the main political parties. Distribute however many you need to the players.
Set a time for the game to the exact minute, say 11.21pm, and watch the election coverage on television. From that designated time, the first party member to be interviewed on television decides the winning ticket.
These are the interesting election facts that will impress your friends (or make them fear for your sanity).
Cut out the crib sheet on the right and keep it close to hand, or tape it discreetly on to your forearm.
Then sprinkle these election gems liberally into conversation throughout the evening.
Ok, time to take a breather from all that competitiveness. Below are some of the moments that define election nights. You might want to enjoy and savour them as the action unfolds on TV:
Polling stations close
First constituency result
First marginal seat result (Dorset South is the government's most vulnerable seat)
First Conservative/Labour/Lib Dem gain
Minister loses seat
A party leader concedes defeat
A leader's victory speech
All that bingo hollering will make you thirsty, so here's some recommended party drinks in three faithful colours. Alcohol is optional.
Warning: Masks will need to be removed before swigging.
Labour: Virgin Mary
Tomato juice, one dash of Tabasco, one/two dashes of Worcester sauce, sprinkle with celery salt (one measure vodka optional). Shake. Before serving, dip the rim of glass in a saucer of water then a saucer of celery salt, to coat the rim. Serve with stick of celery in the glass.
Conservative: Blue Lagoon
The non-alcoholic option can use blue food colouring instead of Curacao and vodka.
Mix one shot of vodka, half a shot of blue Curacao, with Sprite/7up.
Lib Dem/SNP: Banana daiquiri
No bananas? Give the Lib Dem guest orange juice
Blend a banana, 1.5 oz lime juice, a tsp of sugar and a cup of crushed ice. (1.5 oz light rum and a tbsp of triple sec are optional). When smooth, pour into a glass, garnish with cherry, and serve.
Greens and Plaid Cymru supporters can have lime juice-inspired drinks and blackcurrant will come in handy for UKIP and Veritas supporters.
For the host while making drinks in the kitchen, some music to enhance the election mood:
Election Day - Arcadia
True Blue - Madonna
Lady in Red - Chris de Burgh
Yellow - Coldplay
Things Can Only Get Better - D-reem
Golden [almost Gordon] Brown - The Stranglers
I'm Still Standing - Elton John
Everybody Wants To Rule The World -Tears for Fears
A New England - Kirsty MacColl
Green - REM
Anything by The Independents
We want just one small favour - your party pictures. E-mail them to us at firstname.lastname@example.org (reading this page of instructions first)) and we'll publish the best ones on Friday.