Westminster Diary

Welcome to our round-up of gossip from the corridors of power.

PERSONAL SERVICES

It might be the oldest trick in the politicians' book, but Gordon Brown seemed to get away with it quite well, as he risked the wrath of credit crunch enraged voters on Jeremy Vine's Radio 2 show. What was the prime minister going to do for hard-pressed middle income workers, demanded Adam Giles, a lorry driver from Ipswich, struggling to pay a fixed rate mortgage. Mr Brown cooed some sympathetic words before delivering the killer line: "Maybe you should give me your details after the programme and we'll see what we can do." Adam seemed delighted. It worked so well the PM offered to do the same for another caller. What with the pre-Budget report coming up on Monday, Mr Brown - or his civil servants - could be in for a busy weekend...

POLITICAL BRUISER

Desmond Swayne has a new nickname

It may look like he ran into someone's huge clunking fist, but the scars on the face of New Forest Conservative MP Desmond Swayne weren't picked up in a fight, political or otherwise. The scarlet gash across his nose and top lip have rapidly earned him a new nickname - Rudolph. In fact some Westminster wags are suggesting David Cameron's PPS may have to move from his traditional seat behind the leader at Prime Minister's Questions for fear of distracting the cameras. So what is the honourable member's explanation for the bruises? Mr Swayne says a Fir Tree in his garden that he tried to mow down twelve years ago was getting its revenge. He ran into a tree.

SPOUSE ABOUT THAT

Keith Vaz seemed strangely quiet during this week's home affairs committee hearing, as minister Phil Woolas laid into immigration lawyers, accusing some of them of "playing the system to the nth degree". Could it be because, as he declared at the start of the session, that his wife is one?

ALL APOLOGIES

We thought George Osborne had suffered enough over his summer holiday capers in Corfu - eating a mammoth portion of humble pie at last week's Spectator awards as fellow yachting enthusiast Peter Mandelson lorded it over him was surely punishment enough - until we spotted this sign in central London. Rumours David Cameron was thinking of having it converted into a sandwich board for the shadow chancellor - to be worn at carefully selected party occasions - remain unconfirmed.

SERGEANT ROCK

Everyone has their own theory about John Sergeant's shock departure from Strictly Come Dancing, particularly among his former colleagues at Westminster. But we like UKIP's little joke - contained in a e-mail marked "not for publication" in case anyone mistook it for party policy - that Alastair Campbell pressured the BBC into creating a vacancy for Lord Mandelson to live out his dream of taking part in the show. The clincher, adds the party's press office, is that Sergeant's dance partner is from the former USSR. We suspect the truth may be even stranger than that....

BECKETT WATCH

Margaret Beckett's YouTube video

We knew you could do it. The number of hits to Margaret Beckett's YouTube video has gone up by a whopping 1,535% since we featured it on this very page just a week ago. OK, she only had 16 to start with, but let's try and focus on the positive here. More than 200 people now know just a little bit more about eco towns and are a little bit less scared of Web 2.0. But now comes the hard part - the tricky 1,000 mark. It's time to get clicking. As Vic and Bob used to say, we really want to see those fingers...

If you have seen or heard anything that would make a good diary item - from Westminster or the wider world of politics - drop us a line using the form below.