Commons Confidential: Dec 2004

POLITICAL DIARY By Nick Assinder Political Correspondent, BBC News website

Daily despatches from the House of Commons

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|1600 GMT 21 December|

Oh dear, it appears political reporters from the nation's regional newspapers are less than pleased with Alan "Mr Election" Milburn.

Apparently the local press - read by many million voters - have been told they and their readers will be at the heart of the looming election campaign.

Unfortunately elections supremo Alan Milburn appeared to forget all about the political reporters from these newspapers when he held a briefing on the election strategy.

One deeply disgruntled hack tells me: "So much for their plans to concentrate on local people, they can't even remember we're here."

1230 GMT 20 December

In the full spirit of Christmas, the TUC has launched a search for a modern day, real-life Scrooge.

Its worksmart website asks workers to e-mail examples of unseasonal, or downright bad practices by their bosses.

There are some fairly predictable examples - making staff work Christmas bank holidays, refusing to turn up the heating, refusing flexi-working for parents to see their children's Christmas play and banning decorations.

But probably the weirdest is the claim that some bosses ban workplace relationships that start at Christmas parties (presuming they haven't already banned the parties).

This makes the patently ludicrous assumption that anyone who gets involved in such a party fling will remember anything about it the next day anyway.

Wouldn't it save a lot of trouble if they took a leaf out of Cromwell's book and simply banned Christmas.

1530 GMT 15 December

Oh God, the Christmas parties have started and everyone is trying to outdo each other in the "whose was the best bash" stakes.

There were rich pickings last night with three top Tory dos to choose from - two former leaders, one current leader and one future leader perhaps?

Yes, I know that makes four, but work it out.

Baroness Thatcher, Michael Howard and William Hague all lived it up with the faithful and political anoraks have spent hours working out from the guest list who is in whose camp and who is trying to cover the entire waterfront

Mr Howard's do was intriguing for the fact that it was not actually his do at all, but was laid on by Policy Exchange - know for being the darlings of the Tory mods.

Is he trying to tell us something?

Still, he also managed to pop into Lady Thatcher's bash to rub shoulders with old mates from previous administrations including Lord Cecil Parkinson and Lord Norman Lamont.

And there are still 10 days to go.

1100 GMT 13 December

Liberal Democrat Norman Baker appears in festive mood, asking Environment minister Eliot Morley if he can predict the levels of snowfall across the country in coming years.

Now, New Labour may be all-powerful but the idea ministers can outdo the weathermen and accurately tell us when we can expect a white Christmas seems to be asking rather a lot.

Needless to say, on closer reading of his question, it emerges that Mr Baker is making a far more serious point about global warming.

And the news, predictably, is not good.

In the cities Mr Baker highlighted - London, Edinburgh, Bristol and Inverness - snowfall could be reduced by up to 55%, 50%, 57% and 59% between now and the 2050s.

So, it looks like white Christmases really are a thing of the past.

Just try picturing Santa in a swimsuit, riding a surfboard and you get the idea.

1330 GMT 6 December

He is famous for his ever-so-slightly risqué black and white nudes and fashion photography.

Now John Swannell has turned his lens on Tony and Cherie Blair - for their entirely non-controversial Christmas card.

The world-renowned snapper, favoured by many celebrities, has the couple posing in relaxed, smart-but-casual mode under one of Chequers' Gothic-style arches.

Last year the Blairs had two cards - one official and one for family and close friends - but that has been dropped in favour of one simple card featuring just the two of them.

But this year's is notable for the fact it carries no greeting whatsoever.

Like one of those all-purpose ones you buy in the High Street, it is fit for any occasion. Just add your own message.

Michael Howard opted for penguins in support of charity

The prime minister's official spokesman later clarified the situation, by pointing out some of the cards would have "Happy Christmas and Best Wishes for the New Year" while others would just say "Best Wishes for the New Year".

"It has been standard diplomatic practice followed by all prime ministers for the last 20 years that the Christmas greetings are left out (of some cards) because of the religious symbolism," he said.

Liberal Democrat leader Charles Kennedy and his wife Sarah, who are expecting their first child in April, have opted for a card showing a snow-covered croft near Inverness.

Kennedy favours a seasonal landscape

The charity card produced in aid of the Highland Hospice in his constituency reads "A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year" in both English and Gaelic.

As for Conservative leader Michael Howard, he picked penguins on a card which - like Charles Kennedy - supports a good cause.

Mr Howard chose Addaction, a drug and alcohol charity supported by his wife Sandra.

1030 GMT 2 December

He immortalised dead, drug taking, mystic rocker Jim Morrison and disgraced ex-US President Richard "tricky Dickie" Nixon.

Now it is rumoured that Hollywood director Oliver Stone wants to commit to film the story of one of his greatest political heroines - Baroness Margaret Thatcher.

According to The Sun newspaper, Stone wants to turn Maggie's life story into another blockbuster, and has his eye on Oscar winning actor Meryl Streep for the role.

What either of these two great women think about the idea is not known.

And there are already numerous names being mischievously batted about in Westminster as the most appropriate person to play her - everyone from Prunella Scales to Barry Humphries.

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Here is a selection of your comments:

Helen Mirren is a shoe-in for the role.
Martin Anderson, Harold Wood, UK

Tony Blair. He's been playing Margaret Thatcher for years
Anne Hollifield, Stockton, England

Definitely Robin Williams - a Mrs Doubtfire with attitude. If he's not available, how about Paul O'Grady (Lilly Savage) with a Scouse Maggie?
John Barratt, Birkenhead, UK

It has to be Dame Maggie Smith. She resembles Lady Thatcher and has the 'regal' bearing. Margaret Thatcher is very, very English and to have an American play her role is an insult.
Ann C, Orpington, UK

I think David Walliams from Little Britain would make a great Maggie. Well, it'd make me laugh at least.
Jason Storr, London, UK

Ann Robinson. If she can act give her a wig and you'll have a brilliant film.
Joerg Masch, Suffolk

I think Barbara Windsor would be ideal for such a character or why not try Michael Howard in drag...or is he too right wing?
Ian Murray, Edinburgh

Janet Street Porter is the only one with enough you know whats.
David Glentworth, Sheffield South Yorks

Surely Liz Dawn (aka Vera Duckworth) will have some spare time on her hands when she quits Corrie in a few months time?
Donny, Glasgow

Sounds like a Madonna role to me.........
Alan Hunt, Southampton UK

Two actresses stand out for me: Greta Scacchi who portrayed the Iron Lady brilliantly in the Jeffrey Archer dramatisation and Sian Phillips who has the right combination of stage presence and ability to "morph" into characters completely. I can't bear Thatcher, though.
Lee Gage, UK

Vivienne Westwood - without a shadow of a doubt!
Denise Wareing, Darlington, Co Durham

Patricia Hodge played Thatcher to great effect in 1986 in "The Falklands Play". Perhaps she could reprise her role for Mr Stone?
Charles Davies, London, UK

Sharon Stone... Thatcher may never have appeared so attractive to some of us but she obviously did to all those Tories who still fawn over her so why not?
Ben, Croydon, UK

Joanna Lumley would be superb!
Jules, London

Julie Walters, please. (and Dennis Waterman for Dennis, and Les Dennis for Mark)
simon, bradford

I think it should be Glenda Jackson MP for Hampstead. Both Glenda and Mrs. T were/are North London MP's, both are formidable, and Glenda could get a feel for what it must be like in and behind No.10. This would be very interesting, and not the first time Labour played at being Tory!
Steve Vernon, London

I think Pam St Clement from Eastenders would be well-suited to the role.
Keith, Sheffield, England

I think that Barbara Knox from ITV's Coronation Street would be a great Maggie! She has the commanding voice, the deep set eyes, the flaming red hair and the presence of a powerful woman! Let's at least have someone British to play the greatest British PM!
Mark Manaton, London, UK

Margaret Thatcher - Barbara Windsor
Denis Thatcher - Bruce Forsyth
Mark Thatcher - Jonathan Ross
Carol Thatcher - Natasha Kaplinsky
Bernard Ingham - Roy 'Chubby' Brown
Geoffrey Howe - Sir Elton John
Michael Heseltine - Rik Mayall
Norman Tebbit - Mark Lamarr
Nigel Lawson - Ricky Gervais
Edwina Currie - Anne Robinson
John Major - David Beckham
Queen Elizabeth II - Kathy Burke
The Duke of Edinburgh - Richard Wilson
Prince Charles - Robbie Williams
Princess Diana - Geri Halliwell
Ronald Reagan - Alice Cooper
Nancy Reagan - Courtney Love
Mikhail Gorbachev - Sven-Goran Eriksson
Michael Foot - Sir Cliff Richard
Neil Kinnock - Shakin' Stevens
Roy Hattersley - a tub of lard
Arthur Scargill - Peter Kay
Mick McGahey - Billy Connolly
Ken Livingstone - John Lydon
Derek Hatton - Liam Gallagher
Gerry Adams - Ronan Keating
Ian Paisley - Graham Norton
General Galtieri - Gary Lineker
General Pinochet - Alan Hansen
Scriptwriter - Oscar Wilde
Director - Stanley Kubrick
Special effects - Ray Harryhausen
Costume designer - Oxfam

Richard, Bovingdon, Herts.

Simon from Bradford, I don't think Dennis Waterman's agent would go for it - inevitably Dennis would want to write the theme toon and sing the theme toon...
Brian, UK

If this was a Jerry Bruckheimer production then Angelina Jolie will be Margaret Thatcher, Ben Affleck as Denis Thatcher and Nicolas Cage as the rival Neil Kinnock.
John, UK

William Hague in her young years, Michael Portillo at the height of her fame and Ian Duncan Smith in her dotage. Not sure if they all would be happy dragging up for the part but they would at least add a bit of genuine political conviction.
Chris McColl, Bournemouth