Blair doesn't mention the war

It takes a fair bit of pluck to speak to a rally in Nuremberg and talk of your Nation's Destiny but the Flying Helmsman did it, earning himself a much more enthusiastic ovation than Chancellor Schroder.

In general, the SPD delegates in the hall here seem to show approval of the speech they most favour by briefly glancing up from the newspaper they're reading, so actual clapping was a great triumph.

Perhaps a reward for his delicacy.

Speaking on the exact anniversary of the beginning of the Nuremberg war trials Tony Blair not only made no reference to this, but obeyed Basil Fawlty's most famous injunction to a tee.

Instead he referred to the "the militarism of former times".

Definitely a case of calling a spade a Ein Gerat zu laden order vorlegen von Erde.

The Labour party could learn a lot from the SPD: how to keep journalists in the lap of luxury, for instance.

There are rows of ergonomically designed, brightly lit desks, ultra modern internet connections, and, most important, an endless stream of free espresso, cake and indeed Bavarian beer.

Now, of course, all hacks are born liggers so this is bound to delight, but the reason it comes as such an eye opener is that conditions at British party conferences are so very 1950s... the BBC's "office" in Blackpool is a freezing, pigeon-splattered loft.

In Bournemouth it's a carbon monoxide filled underground car park. Only very nasty instant coffee comes free.

But there is a price for the German's largesse. It's all sponsored by one of the world's biggest tobacco manufacturers.

Their young female employees cruise the event offering free fags.

They've even planted the café tables with strange devices that swallow smokers smoke before it can offend the nostrils of non-smokers.

The very idea of such sponsorship is so gloriously non-PC that it would give any British political a fit of the vapours; so I'll have to wait a while before I enjoy free espresso by the sea side.

Probably until Moroccan Gold International sponsor David Blunkett's leadership bid.

I return from Germany to hear whispering in corners about the feasibility of a Night of the Downing Street Long Knives.

The question being asked, hesitantly, only half seriously is : "could HE ever sack Gordon?"

I'm pretty sure the answer must still be "not if HE's got any sense", but that the words are even being spoken aloud is a measure of Downing Street's irritation with Grumpy Gordon's moods.

These have not been improved by the way his plans for Scotland were brutally stamped upon by Charles Clarke.

Or by the way other ministers are suggesting they've got Downing Street approval to give him a fight over public spending.

Attempting to pour balm on the Chancellor's open wounds, Downing Street call the stories "Blah-tastic" to the evident embarrassment of the civil servant who has to read out Alligator's words.

A few months ago a similar rash of headlines was labelled by the Prime Minister's spokesman "Froth-tastic".

This is a curious failure of Downing Street's sophisticated sense of linguistics, semiology and popular culture.

Surely the point about Smash and Nicey's use of "poptastic" was to prove that they were so utterly out of touch, and well, complete pratts.

Any ideas what Downing Street's hidden message could be?

Apropos of nothing, but good for a lull in the conversation, do you know the origin the term "Ottoman Empire", the last Islamic empire which finally collapsed less than eighty years ago?

It's a corruption of the name of the warlord who first established the Empire in 1281. He was called Osman.