Kylie puts a spanner in the works

By Niall Glynn
BBC News

I had the weekend planned out.

A much needed lie-in on Saturday morning, out for a meal and a few drinks with some friends that night, another much-needed lie-in on Sunday, read the papers then settle down for the European football final between Spain and Germany.

One of the several outfits worn by Kylie during the concert

After watching most of the tournament there was no way I'd be missing the final - or so I thought.

Then my wife broke the news that her sister could no longer go to the Kylie concert at Belfast's Odyssey Arena with her on Sunday night. It was too short notice to ask anyone else - I'd have to go instead.

Now saying no to a pregnant Belfast woman is not a good idea, unless you want to lose the capability to father any more children, and being the chivalrous type I grunted an unenthusiastic "OK".

But as the concert approached my sense of dread increased.

It's not that I really dislike Kylie Minogue - I doubt if there are many men out there who do.

I remember her stirring performances in Neighbours, telling Jane Harris she was "a dag" and going out with Jason Donovan's character, despite his ridiculous mullet.

I was sort of aware of some of her songs, although if asked what her most famous one was I'd probably have said "I should be so lucky".

Fans

It's safe to say I'm not a fan. If the concert had been The Kings of Leon, or The Fratellis, I'd have happily missed the football, but Kylie?

Arriving at the concert I expected to be one of only a handful of men there but that was definitely not the case.

Indeed there seemed to be more men than women at the front of the stage. (I wonder why).

One dedicated male fan was even wearing his own Kylie shawl, I noted with contempt.

Then the wee woman herself appeared on stage and the capacity crowd went wild - even more so when she broke into her second song, "Can't get you out of my head".

The singer is confronted by a strangely-dressed man

She was accompanied by an army of dancers, some of them wearing crash helmets and PVC outfits. If you had a thing for motorcycle delivery drivers you'd have been in heaven.

Just about everyone on stage, from dancers to musicians, looked like they could have just stepped off the catwalk, while Kylie was looking as lovely as always. Maybe this wouldn't be as bad as I thought.

It was amazing how many songs I actually recognised, but hadn't known were Kylie numbers. I didn't find myself breaking into song or spinning around in dance, but I'll confess my foot did tap along a few times.

After each set of three or four songs, there would be a short break for a change of set and a change of costume for Kylie and her dancers - from an American football cheerleading theme, to a grand palace, or a Japanese theme to the Copacabana club for a cover version of the Barry Manilow 'classic'.

At times, it was as much a dance production as a concert, but it was all done so well, you couldn't help but admire it and as entertainment and spectacle it made a change from some of the more pretentious indie bands treating their audiences with studied indifference.

There was a bit of chat with the crowd and she even finished with "I should be so lucky".

Now, if Kylie comes again, I won't be queuing overnight for tickets, I won't be rushing out to buy her back catalogue and I won't be investing in a pair of gold hotpants - God knows, Northern Ireland's suffered enough for that - but it wasn't the two-and-a-half hours of torture I was expecting.

And I managed to avoid the result of the football on the way home before settling down at midnight to watch the tape of it, Fernando Minogue scoring the winner for Spain in the first half.