7 questions on conference cringes

Midweek quiz

For all the orchestrated applause and sound bites, party conference season throws up its share of clangers - mishaps and misspeech that go on to define the perpetrator for years to come. Test yourself on embarrassing conference moments.

1.) Multiple Choice Question

When John and Pauline Prescott used not one, but two Jaguars to shuttle between hotel and conference venue in 1999, he bagged a nickname for life - Two Jags. How far was the journey?

1. 50 yards
   
2. 250 yards
   
3. 500 yards
   

2.) Multiple Choice Question

Which leader famously urged delegates: "Go back to your constituencies and prepare for government!"

1. Michael Foot
   
2. David Steel
   
3. William Hague
   

3.) Multiple Choice Question

Tory MP Peter Lilley is known for his sung speeches. At 1992's conference, he performed a version of I Have A Little List from The Mikado. Its subject matter?

1. Rise of the chattering classes
   
2. Success at the polls
   
3. Benefit cheats
   

4.) Multiple Choice Question

Of whose conference performance did Lord Tebbit say: "It made my toes curl in my shoes."

1. Peter Lilley's singing
   
2. Michael Portillo's "We dare. We will win" SAS speech
   
3. Neil Kinnock knocked over by waves on the beach
   
4. Tony Blair's profuse sweating on the podium
   

5.) Missing Word Question

And to the * I say this...

1. voters
   
2. prime minister
   
3. nay-sayers
   

6.) Multiple Choice Question

Labour delegate and peace activist Walter Wolfgang was removed from the conference hall for heckling Jack Straw during his speech about Iraq in 2005. What did he shout?

1. "Well that's a lie"
   
2. "War criminal"
   
3. "Nonsense"
   

7.) Multiple Choice Question

Odd one out. Only one of these things happened at one of the big autumn party conferences. Which one?

1. VIP Kenny Everett shouting "Let's bomb Russia!"
   
2. Neil Kinnock's repeated shouts of "Well alllll riiiight!"
   
3. John Redwood pretending to sing the Welsh national anthem
   
4. A 16-year-old William Hague's speech getting a standing ovation from Mrs Thatcher
   

Answers

1. It was about 250 yards. The couple drove because, said Mr Prescott, "the wife doesn't like having her hair blown about". The seaside resorts favoured for conferences do tend to be a tad breezy.
2. Mr Steel was addressing what was known as the Liberal Assembly in 1981. But it was not to be. The Conservatives would stay in power for 16 years, before handing over to New Labour.
3. It was about benefit cheats: "Young ladies who get pregnant to jump the housing queue/And dads who won't support the kids of the ladies they have... kissed." And in 1998, he performed Land of Chattering Classes: "Who needs Nelson or Churchill? The past is so passe. Britain's now about Britpop, and the River Cafe."
4. It was Portillo who, in 1995, invoked the motto of the SAS, "Who Dares Wins", likening the Tories to the special forces: "We dare. We win." Tebbit said it was "inappropriate".
5. It's prime minister. At the time, in 2003, he was fighting to remain Tory leader. To the PM, he said: "The quiet man is here to stay and he's turning up the volume. Government is never there when you need it, always there when you don't."
6. He shouted "nonsense". The Labour Party later apologised for being heavy-handed. It was Cherie Blair who reportedly said "well that's a lie" during Gordon Brown's 2006 speech in which he said it had been a privilege to work with her husband.
7. It's Mr Hague's speech, to the 1977 Conservative conference. Everett's appearance - in the guise of Brother Lee Love - was at a Young Conservatives rally in 1983. And Kinnock's "all rights" were at a 1992 election rally in Sheffield. Mr Redwood, while Secretary of State for Wales, mouthed along to the anthem at a public event.

Your Score

0 - 3 : Go back to your constituency and prepare...

4 - 6 : Things can only get better

7 - 7 : Well, you're alllll right

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