'The thing I wanted was a friend'

By Carlyle Success

Carlyle has had three breakdowns

New research suggests black people in the UK suffer more mental health problems than other ethnic groups - contrary to criticism that more black people are in treatment due to institutional racism in the system. For BBC Newsnight, former patient Carlyle Success gives his view.

Eight years ago I was in hospital due to my third breakdown.

The routine of talking with consultant psychiatrists, psychologists, key workers and Community Psychiatric Nurses was pretty etched in my mind.

The doctors and nursing staff on my ward were okay for the most part; some though were very patronising and didn't seem to take me or my troubles seriously at all.

I saw a lot of black people brought in by ambulance, escorted by the police. Often they were taken to a social work department and sectioned.

I think black people are more likely to be taken into hospital because people think a black person who is behaving badly or strangely is more dangerous and is more likely to explode, more likely to do some damage.

But when a person does become a danger to themselves or in the community in which they live, the answer is to remove them to safer care, probably that of a hospital.

Of my three breakdowns, the worst occurred about 17 years ago. It started with a fight I had with my father; I was arrested and charged. While the court case was ensuing, my father died. It was thought I was guilty of manslaughter but when it was revealed he had had five heart attacks I was released.

From then on things got progressively worse. I became homeless and slept rough on the streets of London for almost a year. I slept wherever I could: in shop doorways, unused garages, public parks etc.

I found accommodation in a bed and breakfast in Kings Cross. My doctor wrote my sick certificate which simply said: "Diagnosis - nervous disorder". All this time my family had only a slight inkling about what was happening in my life.

After the B&B, I was moved to a temporary hostel. However, by this time I had become increasingly paranoid and thought people were trying to break into my room. One night, my disturbing thoughts became so bad I set fire to my bed.

I was finally hospitalised at St Mary's in West London. I was put on a high-security locked ward for about six months and sectioned. I was later put on a second section, this time in an open ward, and it was there they started my treatment properly - weekly shots of Depixol.

I felt the person that sectioned me was very, very unkind. I felt he was racist. But I'm able to accept that something needed to be done.

The way you treat people leaves a mark and therefore when someone is ill that impression is exacerbated. I don't think that the mental health service in the 1990s was very sympathetic. But they had a job to do, and I think maybe they did it as best as they could.

I suspect one of the reasons [they are undergoing treatment] is black people let their illness get so severe and then have to be either sectioned or by the time they get into the services they need quick treatment.

Saying the mental health service is institutionally racist doesn't help people, they are more likely to run away from the system rather than come to it for help.

It also has to do with not approaching the GP. When I first got ill my mother took me to a GP and he recommended that I go and see a psychiatrist at Homerton Hospital.

That's how I initially got into the services, and I'm thankful for that, but unfortunately most black parents perhaps are not even aware that they can take that route, that they can talk to their GP and say, "look, my son is not very well, he may be a little unstable, is there something I can do?"

Saying the mental health service is institutionally racist doesn't help people, they are more likely to run away from the system rather than come to it for help.

People don't realise that once they go into the system they can come out again, they think they stay in the system and they never come back to a relatively normal life.

The one thing that the doctor said to my mum when I had my breakdown was, "you know he can have a perfectly normal life as long as he takes his medication and keeps even a minimal contact with the services just to make sure".

After about 14 months at St Mary's I was sent to Richmond Fellowship therapeutic communities. I stayed there for over two and a half years. It housed every sort of villainous character and I experienced razor blades in a cake, faeces in a washing machine and a chair being thrown through the front window.

All the stops should be pulled out to "normalise" a person's experience in hospital, and for some time once they return to the community and world at large. In my case, the one thing I wanted and thought I needed was a genuine friend.

I started seeking fresh accommodation and after a short stay in a community house in Wandsworth and a housing association room in Balham I moved into my current flat.

Although not perfect, I am careful to do everything right. I cook for myself and always take my medication. So far, fingers crossed, I remain well.

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Mark Easton's report on black mental health care can be seen on Newsnight on Monday 21 May 2007, at 2130GMT/2230GMT on BBC Two and live on the Newsnight website.