By Denise Winterman
BBC News Magazine
If bullying is not curbed in childhood it is likely to continue into later life, says the new Children's Tsar. So once a bully, always a bully?
Bullying does not stop at the school gates. Two million people were bullied at work over the past six months, according to the TUC.
It is costing the economy £1.3m a year in sick leave, lost productivity and the price of recruiting new staff to replace those who quit.
A young bully is likely to become a workplace bully if their behaviour is not tackled early on, according to England's first children's commissioner, Al Aynsley-Green.
"My first plea in my new post is for adults to look in the mirror before they start castigating children," he says. "Nobody will challenge an adult for bullying colleagues if they are successful in achieving their work targets, but the long-term pain for victims is incalculable.
"I want to see the treatment of bullying mainstreamed in schools so that by the time the children become adults, they know how to cope with it and defeat it."
Sticks and stones
So once a bully, always a bully? The close link between bullying and personality suggests this could be the case, says Dr Stephen Joseph, reader in health psychology at Warwick University.
"We do know that bullying behaviour is very much related to character and personality, which isn't expected to change that much over a lifetime," he says.
"Bullies have a personality profile that is high on anxiety and less empathetic. Victims are more introverted and neurotic."
But he says personality is not a completely accurate predictor, the social context that a bully works in is also important.
"That is why we need policies on bullying in schools. They can make a difference."
What does change with age is the dynamics of bullying. At school it is easily defined: dinner money gets stolen, heads are pushed down toilets and the perpetrators can be easily identified. At work it's different. Culprits don't hang around the office gates.
"In childhood you see a range of bullying behaviours: physical, verbal, property damage and social manipulation," says Dr Joseph.
"In adulthood you don't see so much physical or verbal bullying as it is easily identifiable and could lose a person their job. It is much more about manipulation."
Driven by envy
The Andrea Adams Trust, a charity set up to combat workplace bullying, agrees that bullying at work and school are not the same and says the difference needs to be recognised.
"In school bullying is about weakness and at work it is about strength. Targets in the workplace are viewed as a threat and often have skills that the bully doesn't," says Lyn Witheridge, chief executive of the trust.
Everyone is capable of bullying or being bullied at any time in their lives, people don't just learn it at school, she says.
Danielle Price was attacked at school
"Bullying is not learned behaviour, it is inherent in us all. It is about envy and we are all capable of it from cradle to grave. This is something policy makers need to understand.
"Some people do take behaviour from school into the workplace, but bullying at work is different. A good deal is overlooked or excused because of a number of euphemisms which are frequently used to justify bullying behaviour, like a personality clash."
Figures suggest that bullying at work is not far off the "epidemic" in schools highlighted by the Children's Commissioner.
"One in four people who go to work are victims of bullying," says Ms Witheridge. "It is too costly for employers to ignore, financially and emotionally."
But initiatives and money to combat bullying are nearly always aimed at schools while workplace harassment is overlooked, she says.
Victims say the effects of bullying at work are just as devastating as at school, and as wide reaching.
"People suffer serious ill health and often families are disrupted or left financially crippled if the person ends up quitting their job," says Ashia Taylor, who was bullied at work.
"It is easy to say you have to stand up to a bully, but when you are so demoralised it is very hard. As an adult people tend to think you should be able to deal with bullying, but those who carry it out are clever and often very popular.
"I think tackling bullying behaviour at school does make a difference. But for every bully who changes their ways, another won't and will continue. That's why the huge problem of workplace harassment should be recognised."
In the 10 years since the Andrea Adams Trust started, it has been told of seven people who have committed suicide because of bullying at work. A statistic that can't be overlooked.
I was bullied by my female manager in my last workplace. I suspect because she was not as well qualified as myself and because I got on so well with many people in the company, she saw me as a threat. When I was seriously ill and shortly after returning home from an operation, she sent a message to my personal e-mail address asking me to send her my resignation letter. This cost the company 3 months in sick leave (mainly because of stress), followed by six months of salary when I claimed I had been unfairly dismissed. The end result was I obtained a far better job to further my career. And I bet that woman is in the same place, making someone else's life misery.
Anon, Cambridge, UK
My first job was in a company in which bullying was rampant. The management, both British expats, exploited the fact that their employees were young graduates settling in Germany for the first time. As well as putting a mental and emotional strain on everyone, many of my colleagues felt obliged to resign themselves to the fact that "this is just the way working life is". Luckily, all of us have since left, but it's hard to know who to turn to when the company is small and there are no structures in place to deal with inappropriate behaviour.
Angela, Singapore (ex-UK and Germany)
Bullying and physical intimidation was rife at my school. Since then Iżve met many of the worst offenders and found them to be warm and friendly individuals who, in the dead of night, probably cringe about their behavior whilst growing up.
Alan Rutherford, Egremont, Cumbria
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