The Lunchtime Limerick

Welcome to the Lunchtime Limerick, in which you supply the first line, and then you also supply the rest of the verse.

Winners, such as they are, are published throughout the week.

Send in your completed first verse, using the form below (entries have now closed).

This week's first line was supplied by Candace in New Jersey, US:

The advert said this cream does wonders

THE BEST SO FAR...

The advert said this cream does wonders
For those whose rhyming just blunders
Into very loose verse
Where the poetry's worse
Than McGonagals - my mind just err... err... sunders!
Kip, Norwich UK

The advert said this cream does wonders
"For men who want their hair longer!"
So I bought a large pot,
And slapped on the lot
But now I look like Jane Fonda!
Graham Nicholls, High Wycombe, England

The advert said this cream does wonders.
Helping the eleven English all rounders.
At the Oval today,
The Aussie's will say,
Crickey mate, that cream helped 'em pound us!
Stuart, London, England.

The advert said this cream does wonders,
to lay carpet, hang paper, look younger.
You can use it for cleaning,
or to plaster the ceiling,
it will even solve Countdown conundrums!
Rebecca McLone, Stockton-On-Tees, England

The advert said the cream does wonders
"Say scientists in increasing numbers"
but in small print you discover
that if you rub it all over
it burns rather more than it succours.
Ben, uke

The advert said this cream does wonders
To cure hangoverous chunders.
And yet, without warning
In a meeting this morning
I threw up on last quarter's numbers.
James, Cape Town, Brightest Africa

The advert said this cream does wonders,
But I'm thinking it's one of my blunders,
To have injested the tube 'stead of using the lube,
Now it's my tum, not my thighs, that thunders!
Helen, Ankara, Turkey

The advert said this cream does wonders,
But I made such a dreadful blunder,
When I gave the tube a squeeze, it went all over my knees,
And now they're both shaped like rotundas.
Tim, Dover, UK

The advert says this cream does wonders,
But scientists often make blunders.
The spot on your head stays huge and bright red
But your gateaux all sell in abundance.
Katy W, Woking, UK

The advert says this cream does wonders
That it's one of life's true all-rounders
It can remove acne scars, can be used to polish cars
And even cure a spouse who philanders!
Aparna Ray, Calcutta, India

The advert said this cream does wonders
As the TV spot quite frequently thunders
And when lies seem so real, it is easy to steal
For no one would suspect your plunders
Hal Summers, La Quinta CA USA

The advert says this cream works wonders
But works best on Fridays and Sundays
The rest of the week leaves you spotty and bleak
And positively pizza faced on Mondays!
Brian Sheeran, Manchester - UK

The advert said this cream does wonders
But the results have left me all asunder
At first I started to cough, then my stomach fell off
Still, they were right about it reducing hunger.
Craig DoRozario, Brisbane, Australia

The advert said this cream does wonders,
When used in confections and sundaes,
But I applied it instead to the bump on my head
Now I'm followed by cats in large numbers.
Neil Stairmand, Whately, MA, USA

The advert said this cream does wonders
Like living back home with your mum does
After eating her pies you just mushroom in size
Do I look big in this? Well my bum does!
Dawn Ransome, Bury St Edmunds, UK

The advert said this cream does wonders
For skin where the spots number hundreds
It causes them grief, and gives instant relief
What a shame that it smells of old undies.
vicky, East London