The Lunchtime Bonus Question

LBQ roll of shame

Welcome to the Lunchtime Bonus Question.

The rules are simple. Every weekday we give you an answer. You then tell us what the question was. Marks are deducted for predictability.

The winner of this week's Lunchtime Achievement Award, and the prize keyring, is Rob Turville, for his wrong question on Monday. In accepting his award, he said: "If only the boss knew how long I spent on the LBQ and reading the BBC site. He'd sack me if I wasn't leaving in two weeks anyway. I'll flash my key ring with pride as I wave goodbye, and if you send me two I can use both fingers."

And that, it seems, is a wrap from the LBQ. Under the weight of inept questions, it has decided it has done enough to promote unbelievable wrongness. So from next week, it is returning to its roots as the BQ - the Bonus Question in our weekly Friday news quiz, 7 days 7 questions.

But in our ongoing mission to seek out new forms of news-related creativity, next week will see the launch of the Lunchtime Limerick. Each Monday on the Magazine index you will find the first line of a limerick; your task is to complete it in a not unamusing fashion. Tuesday to Friday will see the publication of the best.

Suggestions for the first opening line are now being accepted, via this form.

Terms & Conditions

THURSDAY

Today's answer is "HUMAN HYENAS"

Send your question using the form below:

Wrong questions included:

What best describes the sound my Mum and Dad made on returning from holiday to hear about Germain Greer and Big Brother?
Ant Reid, London

Memo to: London Zoo Staff, 28 Jan 2005
Memo from: Zoo Manager
Re: Auditing Stock
To those who don't remember last year's elephant debacle, may I remind employees that audits are not to be carried out immediately following office parties.
Tim G, London, UK

Who appears in "Carrion Laughing"?
Stephen Buxton, Coventry, UK

Who are the stars of "Day of the Chuckle"?
Stephen Buxton, Coventry, UK

What did Elton John scream at a horde of photographers when "rude, vile pigs" had no effect?
Louis De La Foret, Milton Keynes

What do comedians call audience members who laugh only when a joke has died?
Andrew Collyer, Chatham, UK

Jack & Al?
pj, Barcelona

That ringtone... what's it the sound of?
Steve Hart, Auckland

Chuckle Brothers?
Chris B, Bromley, England

Describe Dick and Dom from Da Bungalow
Angela Barlow , Liverpool

...and that results in a Zedonk, now the next question...
Keith R., Purcellville

The pararazzi went to the 'Colonial and Natives' fancy dress party as what?
Cat, London, UK

Who are those people who come up with a paraphrase of my LBQ question, but get their version published instead of mine ?
Jim, Marlow

Cavalier Laughing?
Robin, Herts

What is the prequel to Fat Club going to be called?
Kip, Norwich UK

The cast of Savannah Got Gnus For You?
Brian Ritchie, Oxford, UK

All wrong. The correct question was how did one newspaper describe a gang who attacked a civil servant.

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WEDNESDAY

Today's answer is "NOT A GOOD TIME"

Wrong questions include:

HM: "How was the party, Harry?"
Charles, Bogotá

Publishing the winning entries at midnight in Oz is what?
Norm Brown, Branxton.NSW.Oz

Hi Gordon, it's Tony. Alan's 2:30 presentation OK for you?
Adrian, Southend-on-Sea

What's the result of using a torch on a sundial at night?
Stephen Buxton, Coventry, UK

Dad, can I borrow the car please?
Tim, UK

Afterthought of a TV Football Presenter?
Mark Baillie, Southampton

Before deciding on "the best of times, it was the worst of times", Charles Dickens considered what as an opening to "A Tale of Two Cities"?
Andrew Collyer, Chatham, UK

Whenever I try and answer the LBQ, my boss walks in...MINIMISE, MINIMISE!!!
Sarah, Birmingham

6:06:06?
Gerard Krupa, Coventry, UK

Being alone in the Big Brother house with Germaine Greer?
pj, Barcelona

What is happy hour, according to the Temperance Society?
Ray Gray, London

7 hours 17 minutes 51 seconds to create this question?
Mika, Cambridge, England

The "Downright Dark, Cold & Wet Ages" can be summarised as?
Andy Bruckner, Edgware/London

Why did I fail to win my local herb growing competition?
Claire Robinson, Durham

Sharing a cell with Lord Archer?
Adrian, Southend-on-Sea

All wrong. The correct question was how did Dustin Hoffman describe the modern era, in terms of its cultural value?

TUESDAY

Today's answer is "DIRTY UNDERBELLY"

Wrong answers include:

What's the name of the Magazine's replacement competition when LBQ takes a vacation?
Stephen Brooks, York, England

Why was Clint Eastwood unhappy with his latest role?
Jonathan Pryor, Darlington

BELLY DIRTY?
QJ, Stafford

A new addition to undone bed on display in Tate Modern?
Lena Kovalenko, London

Sources have reported Newcastle-under-Lyne is to be twinned with which impoverished town?
Neal Berridge, Nottingham

What do you end up with after a roll of shame?
Neil, Aberystwyth

A below-the-belt insult?
Colin, MK

Miss Moneypenny's less alluring cousin?
Angela Barlow , Liverpool

Problems of being a short legged dog?
Tim McMahon, Pennar/Wales

Rebecca Loos' memoirs of a farm?
Andrew Culley, Grantham

What do you not want if you are to be a participant in Channel 4's "Anatomy for Beginners"?
Catherine O, Maidenhead

Gluteus Muckimus?
Stephen Buxton, Coventry, UK

What do crabs, tortoises and mountain climbers have in common?
Stuart Mackinnon, Glasgow

Pornographic pork?
Rupert K, London

Jimmy Fivebellies is overjoyed to discover a sixth what?
Anon

All wrong. The correct question was what did actor Christian Slater say London had?

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MONDAY

Today's answer is "HALLOWED CRAFT"

Wrong questions included:

The Pope's Volkswagon?
Michelle Day, Waltham Abbey

What would you sail on the See of Canterbury?
Kip, Norwich UK

What do you say when you meet Edward Craft?
Tim G, London, UK

Pi and Ous ferry?
Stephen Buxton, Coventry, UK

The Patchwork Quilt of Turin?
Jeremy Langworthy, London

Confirmed as seaworthy ?
Maggie, South London

The latest report in Witch magazine?
Natasha, Walsall

No, Noah, I tell you, Ark is too short a name... can't we come up with something more spiritual, more meaningful?
pj, Barcelona

God's quad?
Rob Turville, Guernsey

Getting the LBQ ready for 1100 GMT is one of the many what that are disappearing from society?
Ben Parkin, Manchester

Heavenly margarine?
tm, london

The correct question is 'According to the Independent, haute couture designer Christian Lacroix could be a casualty in the decline of fashion's what?

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FRIDAY

Today's answer is "COMEDY CAVALRY"

Wrong questions include:

Dyslexic comedians attend pub lunch?
Tim Collins, Southampton

General Custard-Pie's troops?
Kate Bishop, London

How would you describe the Knights who say "Ni" from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
Michael Conterio, Cambridge, England

Horse Jestnuts?
Debbie Haig,

I laughed 'til I was horse?
Kip, Norwich UK

Charge of the Light Entertainment Brigade?
Lester Mak, London, UK

Only fools and horses?
pj, Barcelona

Saturday Knights Live?
Keith R Purcellville

What arrives on pantomime horses?
QJ, Stafford

Gee gee hee hees?
Ray Gray, London

Define horseplay?
Dave Prescott, Onchan, Isle of Man

Who rescues stand-up comedians when they run out of jokes?
Hazel Johnson, London, UK

Which branch of the Armed Services will Prince Harry be joining in the summer?
Bill Stokes, Leominster

Where dyslexic stand-ups get crucified ?
Ian Johnston, Horsham, W.Sx

Keystone Kops to the rescue?
Kate, Ottawa, Canada

All wrong. The question was how was the team of comedians which entertained stranded Aurora passengers described in the media?