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Last Updated: Friday, 24 December, 2004, 14:01 GMT
The Lunchtime Bonus Question's greatest misses

Welcome to the Lunchtime Bonus Question.

The rules are simple. Every weekday we give you an answer. You then tell us what the question was. Marks are deducted for predictability.

Normal LBQ activity will resume on Tuesday 4 January, but until then here is a selection of the most spectacularly wrong questions from the past year, as chosen by LBQ centurion Chris Ford and the members of www.thelbq.co.uk, an unofficial site which celebrates this peculiar activity.

The answer: "SIX FOR WOMEN, FIVE FOR MEN"

Define "adequate".
David Dee, Maputo, Mozambique

So how many pounds did you put on over Christmas?
Nick Nevin, London, UK

What makes an unsuccessful swingers party?
Kevin Smith, Eastbourne, UK

What does 'Oh OK then, just one more chocolate' really mean?
James C, London

If sat alone in a room with a tea cosy - how many minutes before an individual tries it on as a hat?
Dave Williams, Prudhoe,UK

How many senses do human beings have?
Hilary, Brighton


The answer: "INSINCERE, ARROGANT, UNTRUSTWORTHY, MANIPULATIVE, REMORSELESS, IMPATIENT, ERRATIC, UNRELIABLE, DRAMATIC, UNETHICAL, BULLYING"

The wedding's off, then?
Dave Godfrey, Swindon

..and Partners
Sam , Stockport

As well as "pedantic", what words can my ex not spell?
Mike Yeaman, Newcastle upon Tyne

.... seeks similar
Caroline, Berks

How's the wife?
Stephen B Black, Dover

What was written in Anne Robinson's letter of praise from a fan?
Richard Sockett, Sheffield, England


The answer: "HOT WATER BOTTLE, AXLE GREASE, TWEEZERS"

What do you need to get a camel through the eye of a needle?
Kieran Boyle, Oxford

All Lara Croft needs for a weekend away?
Ruby, Bristol

Bob Geldof announces the names of his new-born triplet girls.
Lee Crane, London

What Not To Wear?
Mike, UK

What "Evidence-of-Weapons-of-Mass-Destruction-Programmes-Related-Activites" have ACTUALLY been found so far?
Trevor Mercer, Castleford

What items can be used to allow men to enjoy the sensation of childbirth?
Chris Waiting, Cambridge


The answer: "WARDROBE MALFUNCTION"

Christ, the place is full of lions and witches. What's happened?
Richard, Stockport

Describe the 70s?
Andrew Muckloud, Warrington

Flat pack instructions always cause what?
Neil, Luton

"Ikea Online, how may I help you?"
Sion, Fleet, UK

Worst reason for coming out of the closet?
Dan the Man

Christina Aguilera
Al, Southend


The answer: "FOUND SOMETHING EXTRAORDINARY IN THE BACK"

Dr Doolittle's reaction on discovering the Pushme-Pullyu?
Jack, London

When I opened the boot of my VW Beetle, guess what I did?
Janet B, Nottingham

Mr Quasimodo, I have the results of your medical.
James Castle, Welwyn Garden City, UK

Julius Caesar's last diary entry?
Luke Bennett, Nuneaton, UK

Polite way of saying your bum looks too big in that?
Candace, New Jersey, US

Something you never want to hear the environmental health officer say in your local fast-food outlet?
James Rooney, Glasgow


The answer: "CHANGED FROM ORANGE TO BLUE"

Keep up to date Dad! Manchester United's 4th Away Strip for the 2004-2005 season has....
Graham Brown, Mostly Oxfordshire

What happens when the Tango Man gets Woad Rage?
Stephen Buxton, Coventry, UK

How did Rabbi Lionel Orange re-invent himself?
Peter Jones, Hull

When satsumas turn bad?
Bibby Binky

Why did I ask for a refund from the tanning salon?
Gail, Basingstoke

Oompa Loompa doobity doo, I've...
Edward Green, Oxford


The answer: "CREATE CURVES OUT OF NOTHING"

And here's my lovely assistant Debbie McGee!!!"
Iain, Rochester

"Scotty, what do you mean you canny give us any more. What happens to Space if we exceed Warp 10?"
Iain, Rochester

Wonder bras, why do we love you?
Saffron Garey, Leeds

Why am I getting fat from eating only the centres of doughnuts?
Ibbi, Portsmouth

How did Euclid get geometry started?
Neil, Birmingham

Mother Nature abhors a vacuum. So why does she carry balloons?
Stephen Buxton, Coventry, UK


The answer: "SHAPED LIKE AN ICE-CREAM CONE"

What Speedos can't hide
David Smith, Bristol

Douglas Hurd's contribution to British politics?
Martin Johnson, London

EU Regulation 88976: All ice cream cones must be ......
Dave Godfrey, Swindon

Pear shaped is so passť darling, men today like their women...
Mark Gledhill, Northampton

How best to describe an isosceles triangle to David Beckham?
Soo Rawlinson, Cambs, UK

Exactly what is the shape of things to come?
Neil, Birmingham

The answer: "1974, 1984, 1994 and 2004"

Nostradamus spreads his bets...
Wendy, UK

Previous completion dates for the Olympic Stadium in Athens?
Alice Solomon, London, UK

Records, tapes, CDs, DVDs?
Candace, New Jersey, US

Name the last 4 years in which the word Gadzooks was spoken aloud
Robin , Herts

Name the years Des O'Connor fathered a child?
Joanne, Plymouth, Devon

What is the 'Flares' fashion cycle?
Andy Cottier, London




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