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Last Updated: Friday, 23 July, 2004, 14:51 GMT 15:51 UK
The Lunchtime Bonus Question
Happy 1st birthday LBQ - the keyring goes on tour

Welcome to the Lunchtime Bonus Question.

The rules are simple. Every day at 1030 BST on the Magazine index we give you an answer. You then tell us what the question was.

Marks are deducted for predictability, and a selection of your most wrong questions are published each day until about 1500 BST when the actual question is revealed.

The winner of this week's Lunchtime Achievement Award and the prize keyring is Stuart Cowley, aka Stu, for his shamefully wrong question on Wednesday. Accepting his award he said: "An almost worthy replacement for my lost Blue Peter badge."

To mark the first anniversary of the LBQ, you were invited to enter an extra contest to write a story using as many of the answers from the past year in no more than 150 words. Extra points were awarded for being convincing and incorporating references to current events.

FRIDAY

Friday's answer is "A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF SCIENCE"

Entries are now closed. Wrong questions included:

An astrophysicist's coping mechanism?
Mark Starling, London

If all the brainpower devoted to generating wrong answers for the LBQ was spent on useful science like the near-sightedness of dogs, how much additional science could be accomplished each Friday?
KT, Pretoria

Andrew Culley, from Grantham: as far as Flux Capacitors are concerned, you seem to be saying that ¿when they work they¿re brilliant¿, but I am going to put it to you that your observation lacks what?
Gerald Moynihan, London

Rik Waller BSc MSc
Charlotte, London, UK

How does Peter Mandelson keep bouncing back - is it black magic or .....
Dave Williams, Prudhoe, UK

A not so brief history of time?
Christopher Thorpe, London

What do tabloids omit in technological stories?
Edward, Bath

I have found that giving retractable pencils and set squares to small children merely results in damage to wallpaper and trips to the hospital. What does creating designer babies actually require?
William Bailey, Halifax

What's the difference between an Honorary Doctorate and a Nobel Prize?
David Dee, Maputo Mozambique

What does it take to dunk the algorithmically perfect biscuit?
Phil B-C, Maidenhead

If ignorance is bliss, what is misery? (Of course, a real scientist would point out that this is flawed logic, but there you go.)
Brian Ritchie, Oxford

Staying "naturally beautiful and slim" takes what?
Jac, Caerphilly

The report into the intelligence gathering prior to the Iraq war show that the infamous dossier contained a lot of assumption and spin as opposed to what?
James Rigby, Wickford, Essex

Science Fiction minus Fiction equals?
Phil, Bristol

SCIENC ?
John Underwood, Edinburgh

Largin' IT?
John C, Oldham

What, in simplistic terms, is the space / time continuum?
Rob Holman, Chislehurst, Kent, England

So apart from beards, bad fashion sense, and outdated hairstyles, what have scientists really done for us?
Suz, Grenoble

The difference between first world and third world?
Chris Ford, Bristol, UK thelbq.co.uk

Boris Becker's haircut?
Oliver Hughes, London

What did it take to engineer and manufacture the LBQ keyring?
Sarah Findlay, Cape Town

There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium, And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium... (and I could go on but the judges will tell me off)
Becky, London

Four and twenty blackboards chalked with pi?
Candace, New Jersey, US

A hard lesson to swallow?
Stephen Buxton, Coventry, UK

What is needed to win an encyclopedia of baseball?
ChrisB, Bromley

The one thing we know for sure that black holes contain?
Edward Green, London

What do you give an airhead who's got everything?
Robin Hughes, Cheadle

What do Etonians call double physics followed by double chemistry followed by double biology ?
Daniel Ward, Eastbourne, UK

How an BA student perceives a BSc Degree?
Chris Ford, Bristol, UK thelbq.co.uk

All wrong. The correct question was how did the makers of a proposed TV programme defend their show which is going to set one man's sperm against another's in a race for fertilisation.


THURSDAY

Thursday's answer is "I AM LOOKING LIKE AN AIRHEAD"

Entries are now closed. Wrong questions included:

If space hoppers could talk?
Lisa M, Southampton

Bad translation of 'that bubbly must have gone straight to my head'?
Candace, New Jersey, US

Head Zeppelin?
Rob Holman, Chislehurst, Kent, England

What does a girl with a windfarm on her head say
Jayne Suttle, Swanage

Why am I speaking in speech bubbles
DC, Lostwithiel

About time - I've been waiting all week for the caption competition
Sion, Fleet, UK

Who is Bill Payer?
PJ, S

What's another way of saying, "I still support the war but, knowing what I know now, would vote against it"?
Norman Dawes, Bury St Edmunds, UK

Martha's worst fear?
Candace, New Jersey, US

One downside of being in charge at Swanwick?
Brian Ritchie, Oxford

When there is light at the end of the tunnel (that goes from one aural canal to the other)?
ChrisB, Bromley

Last year my older brother told me of a band from the sixties called "Tractor". He said that they were bigger than the Beatles and more shocking than the Sex Pistols, but, strangely he had none of their records. I asked him why? He said that he had sold them all years ago and that he was no longer a fan of theirs...that they had sold out, big time. Until quite recently I have been telling my mates at school that my brother was an "Ex-tractor Fan" as they all giggled. From where I'm standing I look like what? Yes...
Gerald Moynihan, London
(The LBQ editor thought he made himself clear about this line of questioning.)

Seventy-two submissions to the LBQ, and not one published. Wait a minute, what's that 'Send' button for?
David Dee, Maputo Mozambique

The pneu black?
Edward, Bath

Lucy in the sky with cubic zirconias?
Andrew Culley, Grantham

What's an airhead?
Jayne Burton, Sevenoaks

Bibendum?
Lynn, England

New breed of superteacher fuelled by a 78 /21 Nitrogen, Oxygen mix?
Lee Stubbington, Tonbridge, Kent

():-) ?
Nik, Cambridge

Is East Anglia in Spain?
Andrew Culley, Grantham

And the bottom line of the eye-chart Mr President? (snigger).
Kieran Boyle, Oxford

Well I've heard about being puffy under the eyes, but this is ridiculous.
Helena, Northampton

Why can't I find what I am looking for?
Kaylie , Runcorn

How I hide my plans for world domination?
Sarah, Oxford

Typical. I make one comment about women not cleaning behind the fridge enough, and what's the result?
Edward Green, London

I am female, I am blonde. To the latest garage mechanic to try to rip me off, this means what?
Catherine O, Maidenhead

What statement follows asking who Bill Payer is?
Marie Carver, Woodford, Essex, UK

What did the airhead forget to say?
Mike Scott, Great Yarmouth

All wrong. The correct question was why does Imelda Marcos oppose a new film about her spending habits.


WEDNESDAY

Wednesday's answer is "FRIENDLY BUT POWERFUL"

Entries are now closed. Wrong questions included:

Kalashnicough please...
Evan, UK/Dubai

Sharon Watts?
Chris Spencer, Wimbledon

What is a half-correct description of Canada?
Meagan Crump, Toronto

Lime Cordial?
Neal Berridge, Nottingham

Why are the Red Arrows so popular?
Dave Godfrey, Swindon

The King of Hearts?
Matt Price, Henley-on-Thames

When you send your kids to weighlifting camp in the US, they come back aloof, powerful, and with an Austrian accent. When you send your kids to the same type of camp in Britain, they come back...?
Ainy, Baltimore, US

Vlad the Home Improver?
Paul, Leeds

David Banner's personal ad?
Candace, New Jersey, US

Atomic Kitten?
Andrew Culley, Grantham

Tidal wave?
Chris Watsom, Bristol

Pol Pet?
David Butcher, Kirkham

(I apologise in advance for the sugaryness of this question) - A smile?
Stephen Buxton, Coventry, UK

An Intercontinental Holistic Missile?
Stephen Buxton, Coventry, UK

The Daleks on a bank holiday?
KMR, Cardiff

A Pedigree Chum?
Chris Stocks, Chesham, Bucks

Fortunately for you all, the voices in my head?
Stephen Buxton, Coventry, UK

The Incredibly Nice Hulk?
Sarah Findlay, Cape Town

First impressions from seeing Candace showing off her (well deserved) LBQ keyring?
David, UK

Bruce Forsyth's Generator Game?
Nick Nevin, London, UK

How should a good deli smell?
Rupert K, London

A sheep in wolf's clothing?
Dave Godfrey, Swindon

The Goodfather?
Chris Ford, Bristol, UK thelbq.co.uk

A nuclear family ?
John Redmond, Godalming

Blond bombshell?
Chris Brayley, Bromley

How would you best describe hand-reared garlic?
Trevor, Bloomsbury

The Charge of the Polite Brigade?
Kip, Norwich

Suggest two qualities that might be equally advantageous in a god or a dog?
Ben Moxon, Guildford

Nice Admiral?
John, London

The nicest way to describe my, ahem, handshake.
Rachael, UK

Brothers With Arms?
Andrew Magowan, London

Joules Holland?
Nigel, Winchester

Elephants on dope ?
Phil, Nimes

Friends in high places?
Becky, London

Fluffy the vampire slayer?
Sarah, Oxford

Ming the mirthful?
Stu, Yateley

Cabbie John Sheen's opinion of his client yesterday?
Marie Carver, Woodford, Essex, UK

New slogan for Toilet Duck?
Will, London, UK

Rover 75 is...
Ross Billington, Derby

A wolf in sheep's clothing?
Kiltie, Staffs, UK

What do you call a labrador with a machine gun?
Phil Colvin, Bristol

Firm friends?
Becky, London

Jennifer Aniston
Courtney Cox
Lisa Kudrow
Matt Le Blanc
Matthew Perry
David Schwimmer
Discuss.
Tim G, London, UK

How would you describe an MP near to elections?
Pauline Fearn, Herne Bay

All wrong. The correct question was how do people see the BBC, according to a study conducted for a government review.


TUESDAY

Tuesday's answer is "WHEN THEY WORK, THEY'RE BRILLIANT"

Entries are now closed. Wrong questions included:

Striking colours?
Andrew Culley, Grantham

Perpetual motion devices?
John C, Oldham

When writing a reference, how can you appear positive whilst conveying that the prospective employer should avoid the applicant like the plague?
Kaylie

The Charm of the Light Brigade?
Chris Stocks, Chesham, Bucks

It seems almost foolishly dangerous to fly nine Hawk jets in close formation at 400mph, but...
Rob Egginton, Bristol

Hold up stockings, strapless bras?
Olwen , Mobberley Cheshire

Racing tips?
David Dee, Maputo Mozambique

69-year-old employees?
Lucy, Oxford

What was Snow White's pitch to the gangmaster?
Jonny Billericay, Norfolk

Computers are so FRUSTRATING! Why have they become so popular?
Stella, Edinburgh

There are lies, dammned lies and statistics. But, the thing about statistics are what?
ChrisB, Bromley

What do you think of the condoms being given to the athletes at the Olympics?
Brenda, Lancaster

Hops, yeast, sugar, malt, water?
Christopher Brayley, Bromley

"Resting" actors?
Simon Vannerley, Tiverton, UK

Lottery tickets. Discuss.
Robert Henson, Petts Wood, Kent

What do you reckon to those sketches from The Fast Show with that guy who says everything's brilliant?
Sam Holloway, Cambridge

So what do you make of all those novelties then?
Helena, Northampton

Exaggerations...?
Kalika, Oxford

What about Public Inquiries, Private Inquiries, House of Commons Committees, Collective Responsibility, Ministerial Responsibility, an informed Cabinet, Democracy, Parliament, MPs, Intelligence, Caveats, Qualifications, Integrity (sorry got carried away there!)
John Redmond, Godalming

Before "I love it when a plan comes together" what did Hannibal think of the A-Team's first, tentative, heroic efforts?
Geoff Spick, Bournemouth

Flux capacitors?
Andrew Culley, Grantham

Smell chequers?
Andy Parker, Groesfaen, Cymru

So Mr Blair, what do you think of the intelligence community?
Stephen Costigan, Merthyr Tydfil

My LBQ submissions never get published but...
Susan Nash, Bristol

What do the ACME Rocket Sled, ACME 10 miles of Railroad and ACME Giant Magnet have in common?
John C, Oldham

What have you heard about my co-workers?
Paul, Nottingham

Why do they call them diamond geezers?
John S, Maidstone

What are plans to catch the pigeon?
David, UK

Holiday reps?
Jayne Burton, Sevenoaks

So David, how are the penalties coming along?
Robin Hughes, Cheadle

What are home security lights - aka cat detectors?
David, UK

Ideas for cooling the Tube. Discuss.
O.G.Nash, Doha, Qatar

"Are the patrol car lights working, PC Jones?"
"Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no,"
"And what do you think of them?"
Ben Moxon, Guildford

What are teenagers doing summer holiday jobs?
John Rogers, London

Why should you always show your working?
Edward Green, London

What are planes, trains, and automobiles?
Candace, New Jersey, US

What do you think of my new light bulb?
Patrick Rushton, Sheffield

All wrong. The correct question was how did Sir Trevor Macdonald describe his signature "and finally..." items.


MONDAY

Monday's answer is "ONLY AS NOVELTIES"

Entries have now closed. Wrong questions included:

Alligators in bathtubs?
Candace, New Jersey, US

How to enjoy crackers?
Martin, Harlow

Can you name one argument for keeping the House of Lords?
Luke A, York

Why did God create kangaroos?
Kip, Norwich

I don't live in Florida, so my meat hooks are?
Robin, Herts

Why do men have nipples?
Dave Williams, Prudhoe, UK

In what capacity did the Muffins, the Waves, the News, the Bunnymen, the Attractions and the Bad Seeds exist in relation to Martha, Catrina, Huey, Echo, Elvis and Nick?
Gerald Moynihan, London

Should the taxpayer subsidise the Royal Family?
Angie, UK

Shared belly-button jewellery? No, wait...
O. G. Nash, Doha, Qatar

(True Story) What reason does anyone have to buy/eat/produce "dried salmon jerky" from Vancouver?
Tim G, London, UK

Can men wear stockings?
Robin Hughes, Cheadle

I've come up with the idea of printing books on to fabric, and wearing them round my collar. Do you think these will sell?
Simon, Birmingham, UK

Manners, airs and graces in Big Brother camp?
Tim McMahon, Pennar, Wales

Can the weddings of Liza Minnelli only be seen as novel ties?
Norm Brown, Branxton

Manicures in prison?
Will, London, UK

Use of ASBOS on my estate?
Vicky, York, UK

But you voted for Labour, didn't you?
Kieran Boyle, Oxford

Curiosity killed the tat ?
Jason S, Southampton, UK

When it comes to dating toyboys, what is the most important rule us girls need to remember? Treat them........
Kiltie, Staffs, UK

To avoid disappointment, how should you view English sporting successes?
C Falconer, London

Use for honorary degrees?
David, UK

What is the purpose of the British Athletics Team going to Athens?
Sam J, London

Are my LBQ answers ever considered for publishing?
Andy Brown, Cambridge

How should unheralded Americans be allowed to win golf's greatest prize?
Simon, Bolton

I'm a PG Tipster myself, so why do I stock my kitchen with African Redbush Peach, Classic India Spice and Flowery Oolong?
Helene Parry, South Wales expat to Twickenham

How do my children view the duster, the hoover and the lawnmower?
Smudge, MK

What use are Toy Boys?
John Redmond, Godalming

Would Harrods put genuine diamond necklaces in Christmas crackers?
Phil Welch, London

So, can we put gondolas in the Tube?
Kat, Derby, UK

Jellied heels?
Mark Starling, London

"That's right, Brian, as we wait for Euro2004 to get under way, there's no doubt that the Greek team has come to this competition....
Hedley Russell, Morecambe

With the success of the Twenty20, is it worth keeping playing the County Championship and National League?
Steve Sutton, St. Albans

How d'you like them apples?
Charles Frean, Bedford, Massachusetts

Why did I wear my high heels at Glastonbury?
Janet B, Nottingham

Getting a number-1 song at Christmas?
David, UK

How do drunk college students use meat hooks, considering us natives only use them for fish??
Maureen, Florida, US

Why does the MI5 REALLY want spies like us?
Ainy, Baltimore, US

What umbrellas are for in Phoenix, AZ?
Francis, Phoenix, AZ, US

Any reason to live in Swindon?
Kirsty F-C, Swindon

So many, so wrong. The correct question is by labelling their goods as what do shopkeepers in Texas get round that state's obscenity laws forbidding the sale of marital aids.


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