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Last Updated: Friday, 2 July, 2004, 16:40 GMT 17:40 UK
Field of dreams
The Magazine's Friday Challenge
Should you choose to accept it ...

Fans on Henman Hill
We gave the world tennis, football, cricket and rugby. And the world has roundly trounced us in all these sports. What new games might we stand some chance of winning?

Britain's best, last tennis hope Tim Henman is out of Wimbledon. England - the only UK team to make to Euro 2004 - crashed out of the tournament last week in a penalty shoot-out. And England's world champion rugby players have been comprehensively beaten Down Under.

All are sports invented on these shores, and once upon a time Britons were good at each and every one. But now the events we excel at include extreme ironing, bog snorkelling and tiddlywinks.

What new sport might tap into our latent talents? Here, we present our favourites from your suggestions.

I was going to say procrastination, but perhaps we can consider that one another time.
Norbert, UK

Plucky Underdogging
Norbert, UK

The double yellow line sprint. Contestants see if they can get from their car parked on double yellows into the shop for a packet of fags and back to their car before the roving pack of traffic wardens can slap a ticket on them.
Nigel Greensitt, Salford, UK

Ultimate Ludo and Rhythmic Dominoes. We'd clear up!
Tom James, UK

Presumptuous punditting.
Eric Hill, Scotland

Freestyle hooliganism
Spike, England

The LBQ?
Don, Fareham - The entertainment capital of the South Coast

Competitive mid-distance staring. A train comes to a complete halt in the middle of nowhere. The winner is the one to spend the longest amount of time staring into the middle distance and not saying a word. Points deducted for tutting and sighing.
Paul Beaumont, UK

Tic Tac Toe
Philip Lickley, United Kindgom

Spitting on the pavement; whoever can deposit the most saliva in the given time is the winner.
George, UK

We're world champions at queuing... and complaining about the weather.
Caroline, UK

How about the World Sardines Championships? Fitting lots of people in a small place is something that we (especially Londoners) are very good at, just look at the Tube!!
Charlie, London, UK

Maybe we should make binge drinking into a sport. The different types would be as follows: Free-Style Binge Drinking: Where the 'louts' (the sport's technical term meaning 'players') select a pub and have to drink as many different things as possible within a set time limit. Marathon Binge Drinking: Starting from one end of 'pub land' (pitch) the louts have to make it through all the pubs, having at least three drinks in each. Classic Binge Drinking: Two louts have to drink as many pints of lager as possible. Each has to be taken 'down in one', and a 'bar man' (referee) will be on hand to prevent cheating.
Doug, UK

Clipboard Dodging. You are in a high street, the clipboards are out in force, first one to reach the bottom without answering surveys or getting free catalogues wins.
Katy Ashton, England

Full Contact Reminiscing - we seem pretty good about constantly harping on about things in the past - and beating up anyone who tries to inject some reality.
Graeme, England

International Complaining - categories to include complaining about the weather, house prices, how life was better in the old days, etc etc.
James Elliott, UK

Speed vomiting.
Nigel Greensitt, Salford, UK

Upper Lip Stiffening.
Alex Knibb, UK

The Friday challenge?
Chris Watt, UK

Speed lager drinking. Curtain Twitching. Freestyle Biscuit dunking. Litter throwing.
Dave Williams, UK

We'd probably be able to win world championships at: making tea, talking about the weather, and, most importantly, moaning about how we never win anything...
Richard Tunley, UK


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