HAPPY HOUR has hit the bottom of the glass. Time has been called on the era of two-for-one bevvies of an early evening.
The sad news came with an announcement from Home Secretary David Blunkett that the government plans to crack down on binge drinking and the resulting mess and violence.
Happy Hour, despite being a popular character in pubs and bars, is seen a prime instigator of all manner of drunk and disorderly behaviour. It is this which has made it unpopular with authority figures, but a favourite with hard-drinking lads and ladettes.
Mr Blunkett hopes its demise will free town centres of the tired and emotional gangs of mini-skirted lasses and their staggering boyfriends who materialise soon after chucking-out time.
So troublesome are their lager and alcopop-fuelled antics that police and health authorities are keen to hasten the passing of Happy Hour and its disorderly offspring, Cheap Drinks Promotions.
Friends of the family might have seen the writing on the wall last summer when pub crawls were banned in the drinking establishments of Falaraki, the Greek resort favoured by young Brits on hedonistic holidays.
A further nail in Happy Hour's coffin is the imminent arrival of its controversial sibling, 24-hour Licensing Laws. For Britons' enthusiastic drinking habits mean that our towns ain't big enough for the both of them.
No flowers. Or toasts.
Send us your tributes, using the form below.
Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.
Gary S Fletcher, UK
Don't go! I lub you-ooo. You're my very besht friend in the whooooole world...
Rest Gin Peace
Damon, London, UK
Goin' on up to the spirit in the sky.
Martin Stickley, England
Holding back the cheers...
Ric Hardacre, England
Tankards for the memories - or lack of.
Ed , UK
Beer today - gone tomorrow.
Lynne Holmes, UK
Happy Hour was never such
All you did was drink too much
Then stagger home and get depressed
So drinks all round, it's laid to rest.
Mike Yeaman, Newcastle upon Tyne
It's a real baby-sham(e).
David Cope, UK
My condolences to the beereaved.
Kelv, US (UK expat)
You were always there in my hour of need, between 5 and 6.
Once we got yards for under six quid. Now our quids are under six feet.
Tim G, London, UK
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