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Last Updated: Friday, 23 April, 2004, 14:11 GMT 15:11 UK
The Lunchtime Bonus Question
The rules are simple. Every day at 1030 BST we give you an answer. You then tell us what the question was.

Marks are deducted for predictability, and a selection of your most wrong questions are published each day until about 1500 BST when the actual question is revealed.

The winner of this week's Lunchtime Achievement Award, and the beguiling keyring, is Simon Robinson, for his worryingly wrong question on Thursday. In accepting the award, he said: "Who's as sick as a parrot now?"

FRIDAY

Friday's answer is "BETTER EDUCATED, IF NOT WISER"

Entries are now closed. Wrong questions included:

Kevin Spacey's text to David Beckham?
Stephen Ibbs, Wolverhampton

So, Ron, how do you feel now?
Mike, Antigua

A hungover parrot?
Liz Spencer, Ottawa, Canada

What are you if you drink 24 pints in 24 hours while attending lectures on Newman's day in Princeton University?
Johnny, UK

The end result of someone attending the "How to read the racing tips" course would be ...
Andy Donaldson, London

If the International Baccalaureate is so good, explain French toilets.
Andrew Taylor, Leeds

Updating the Christmas Story for the 21st Century: the Magi should be...?
Duncan P, London, UK

The difference between a complete idiot and a half wit?
Ibbi, Portsmouth

The education lottery gets worse when government passes a bill to allow only those with surnames starting with W and upwards fail to get into university.
Chris Ford, Bristol, UK

What divides University Challenge from Come and have a go if you think you're smart enough?
Dougie Lawson, Basingstoke, UK

George W Bush v George Bush snr?
Mike C, Leeds, UK

Define Si Griffin.
Alex E, Manchester

The reason for increased binge drinking in the parrot population?
Sarah, Maidstone

All those LBQ'ers who seem to have been through the Cartoon Scriptwriters school?
Jack, London

What do you need to be to succeed on The Weakest Link?
Kip, Norwich UK

How does one feel having discovered one's wisdom teeth?
Stella Clark, Surrey, UK

What the Wizard of Oz might have meant by "I can't give you brains, but I can give you a diploma"?
Candace, New Jersey, US

"I know, if we give pupils 30 pounds a week to stay in school we will eventually have a nation that is....?"
Melissa, London

Eric Morecambe was...
Mike, UK

If your 'S' and 'W' keys are broken, you can manage to type...
Charlie Pearce, Wakefield

As a qualified idiot, what does my degree of stupidity demonstrate?
Mike Yeaman, Newcastle upon Tyne

Learning to create an e-mail distribution list and accidently sending out a company-wide "Fancy a drink?" personal mail showed I was
Niall, Belfast

What do yo get from education, education, education?
Martin Outlaw, Fareham

What is the proposed advertising slogan for the new beer, "Bud Einstein"?
Dave Taylor, Leeds

What do "the rest" of us think about Oxbridge students?
Steve, Brighton

All wrong. The correct question was how did Tony Blair describe himself after reading the Sun.


THURSDAY

Thursday's answer is "PARALYTIC PARROTS"

Entries are now closed. Wrong questions included:

What do you find in seedy bars?
Patrick Rushton, Sheffield

Almost a Googlewhack?
Duncan, London, UK

Who built this city on Rock and Roll?
Graham Campbell, Edinburgh

Bolly polly?
Rob Falconer, Penarth

The result of a birds' night out?
Sophie Sanderson, London

Peter Piper may have picked a peck of pickled pepper but what pickled pollies picked Pernod, Pina colada and Pilsner?
Simon Cholerton, London

give us a drink give us a drink give us a drink
Niall, Belfast

What's kept next to the aliterating aligators?
Ben, UK

Polygon?
Tim G, London, UK

Why don't they sell vodka-laced aspirin in the jungle?
Anne-Marie, London

Define polysaturated.
Simon, Birmingham, UK

What is meant by the reel macaw?
Phil, Stafford

One over the eight, one over the eight?
Jayne Burton, Sevenoaks

Two pirates walk into a pub. I'm not sure what happened next but...?
Sean, Buckingham

Who's plastered with Polly-filler?
Simon, Birmingham, UK

An abundance of cocktails...?
James Castle, Welwyn Garden City

What phrase did Adam West veto from the 1960s Batman series?
David Gorton, Oldbury, UK

Trill - have you got a wkd side?
Mike F, Plymouth UK

Probably just pining for the fjords?
Candace, New Jersey, US

Who could talk the talk but not walk the walk?
Sion, Fleet, UK

Who designed the LBQ keyring?
Dave Godfrey, Swindon

Stoned crows and .....?
Kate, London

Why was London's Zoo happy hour stopped?
Stuart Collins, Aberdeen

ITV's replacement for Ron Atkinson?
Graham Campbell, Edinburgh

Derivation of the phrase "as sick as a parrot" ?
Mark Coates, York, UK

What is the largest demographic group of Bruce Forsyth's Saturday night audiences?
Chris Ford, Bristol, UK

All wrong. The correct question was what are some of the things that have happened in Moscow which have led to vets proposing rehabilitation for animals.


WEDNESDAY

Wednesday's answer is "A BAN ON BRATWURST"

Entries are now closed. Wrong questions included:

What could easily be made a pig's ear of?
Mike Yeaman, Newcastle upon Tyne

What is worse than a ban on brats?
Brian Welsby, Bolton

Why do you have to sell the sizzle and not the sausage?
Mike Yeaman, Newcastle upon Tyne

Missing Links?
Martin, Leeds

After misunderstanding the public's demand for anti-spam legislation, the EU have introduced what?
Martin, Leeds

What, along with the notorious Milano Salami Quota, is being contested by the Meat Preservation Society?
Madmarce, London

After the infamous Night of the Long Sausages, what was the Government's response?
Geoff Spick, Bournemouth, UK

Training regime for the Berlin Marathon?
Phil Fenerty, Southport

What ban was introduced at the Naturists' Barbecue Society?
Robin Hughes, Cheadle, UK

Clean air enthusiasts are hailing the sucess of their recent campagn at the Hofbrauhaus in Munich. A ban on smoking and a ban on what?
Stephanie Halser, Munich Germany

The beginning of the end for pro-Scrabble?
Jack, London

Not a sausage?
James Castle, Welwyn Garden City

The latest result for the Royal Society for the Prevention of Innuendo?
Ben, uk

What will guarantee a Yes vote on the European Constitution?
Chris Ford, Bristol, UK

What did the gestapo want Michelle to say only once
Angie, Newcastle

All wrong. The correct question was what catering dispute has been the result of McDonald's winning the right to sell food at the 2006 World Cup in Germany.


TUESDAY

Tuesday's answer is "SHAPED LIKE AN ICE-CREAM CONE"

Entries are now closed. Wrong questions included:

According to Neapolitan astrophysicists, how is the appearance of the universe best described?
Simon, Birmingham

What intimate detail is that, then?
John C, Oldham

What Speedos can't hide
David Smith, Bristol

The logo for the Exclaimation mark society is.....
Kevin Smith, eastbourne, UK

Dressing up as Wizbit has left Paul Daniels feeling what?
Iain , Stirling

....AAARRGGHH! Can't get innuendo out of mind, Must get back to some work......!
John C, Oldham

Douglas Hurd's contribution to British politics?
Martin Johnson, London

What will be the result of a fourth boob job?
Bernie Beesley, Chelmsford

Exactly what is the shape of things to come?
Neil, Birmingham

Does my bombe look big in this?
Mike Yeaman, Newcastle upon Tyne

The new dumbed-down version of the Highway Code explains that traffic cones are...
Ray Gray, London

Uptight flower arranging?
Candace, New Jersey, US

How best to describe an isoceles triangle to David Beckham?
Soo Rawlinson, Cambs, UK

So Mr Archer, please explain how you managed to finish after Rob Liddle in the marathon... were you in fancy dress?
Tim G, London, UK

If contents may settle in transit, what does Rob Liddle look like now?
Giles Murchiston, Cambridge

V ?
Jason S, Southampton, UK

Butlin's comedic euphemisms, No. 119?
Suz, Grenoble

How do I feel after finishing the marathon dressed as an ice cream?
Pauline , Herne Bay

What's the point?
Graham, London

My wife is ice cool, sweet and creamy as heaven and strawberry blonde but I should never have described her hairstyle as what?
Mark Starling, London

EU Regulation 88976: All ice cream cones must be ......
Dave Godfrey, Swindon

Pear shaped is so passť darling, men today like their women...
Mark Gledhill, Northampton

How would you describe an ice cream cone to a visiting Martian.
Dave Godfrey, Swindon

All wrong. The correct question was what is different about a pizza which has been designed to avoid the misery of unwanted topping slippage.


MONDAY

Monday's answer is "007 WOULD BE THE LOGICAL WAY TO GO"

Entries are now closed. Wrong questions included:

If you are in Edinburgh and want to drive backwards from Clerk St to Lothian Road, what is your best route?
(Never explain, but that road is the A700.)
Keith, Kingston UK

The only real anti-cold call tactic?
Robert Henson, Nottingham, UK

You arrive at the cinema on a blind date, she's gorgeous and she tells you she's sensitive and doesn't like violence. Do you take her to'The Passion of The Christ', 'Reservoir Dogs' or a Bond film?
Laurie, Alcester

So tell me 006, now that you are retiring, who do you think would make a worthy successor ?
Mark Coates, York, UK

If I want to impress the girl on the delicatessen counter at Tescos, which number should I select from the ticket dispenser?
Mark Starling, London

Options for a vodka martini:
001 Straight
002 On the rocks
003 With a small umbrella
004 With a cherry
005 Stirred and shaken
006 Stirred not shaken
007 Shaken not stirred
008 In an old tea cup straight from the draining board.
Which one would you go for James?
Andy Donaldson, London

Hey! David Shayler's briefcase, let's try to crack the code... now where to start?
Cass, London

What look needs to be adopted to get the girls?
Stephen Buxton, Coventry, UK

Having finally completed his marathon run, what should we expect of Rob Liddle now?
Nick Hill, Dolgellau, Wales

Before the days of the 747, how did the Wright Brothers try to market their plane?
David Stuart, Loughborough

Licensed to analyse?
Martin Cooper, Stoke on Trent, UK

We need someone who is a crack marksman with a Walther PPK, skilled in the use of super-gadgets to escape tricky situations, the mindset to outwit our most cunning foes, and yet have scantily clad women with provocative names falling at his feet. Any suggestions?
Candace, New Jersey, US

I'm not a number, I'm a free man ... no, wait.
Dougie Lawson, Basingstoke, UK

How would a SPECTRE agent contemplate his own death?
Richard Sockett, Sheffield, England

If 012 = "way of life", 103 = "things to do", and 247 = "we can go", how would you encode "way to go"?
Brian Ritchie, Oxford, UK

Explain this line from a BASIC computer program: IF A=1 OR A<>1 THEN GOTO 007
David, UK

00 00 00 01 11. What could be clearer than that?
David Dee, Mozambique

To find the loo in Australia, which signs should be followed?
Ibbi, Portsmouth

Access via Bond Street?
Malcolm, Farnborough, UK

What phone extension should we give the new bloke upstairs in the corporate espionage department?
Tim G, London, UK

Bond meets Spock?
Simon, Birmingham, UK

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways ...
Dave Taylor, Leeds

What bus route should you take to MI6 headquarters?
Scott M, Aylesbury

The location of the Spytime radio programme on the new DAB radios?
Kiltie, Staffs, UK

When the LBQ has the wrong web address from the magazine page, who would you put on the job to find out why ?
Phil, Stockholm, Sweden

All wrong. The correct question was what should the smaller version of the Peugeot 107 be called, according to a company insider, instead of its actual name, 1007.


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