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Last Updated: Friday, 13 February, 2004, 15:04 GMT
The Lunchtime Bonus Question
Welcome to the Lunchtime Bonus Question.

The rules are simple. Every day at 1030 GMT we give you an answer. You then tell us what the question was.

Marks are deducted for predictability, and a selection of your most wrong questions are published each day until about 1500 GMT when the actual question is revealed.

The winner of this week's Lunchtime Achievement Award and the LBQ keyring is Suz, Paris, for her ineptly wrong answer on Friday. In receiving the award, she said: "Sorry, what? Oh yes, terribly busy. Overwhelmed, in fact."

FRIDAY

Friday's answer is "SMART GENES AND DUMB LUCK"

Entries are now closed. Wrong entries included:

Intelligence Quotient:
Geoff Enes: 140;
Lawrence Uck: 45.
Adrian H, Southampton

Which solicitor are you using these days?
Andy Seed, Malton

Thank you.
Gene Sandumbluck, London UK

And how would you like your clone sir?
Andy Seed, Malton

Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?
Matt, Our Nation's Capital

Gamblers: before and after a bet?
Slu, Liverpool

It turns out that I've inherited my dad's hairline ....
Calan MacAulay, Glasgow, UK

Si Griffin?
Nick Hill, Dolgellau

Why, after 50 years, have the Bash Street Kids not aged a day?
Dave Godfrey, Swindon

Dolly the goat?
Howard Vaughan, Edinburgh

How do you summarise being so clever you're a social reject, becoming an 'anonymous' sperm donor to father children natural selection would otherwise preclude, then finding the law changes so offspring can search for their roots and have your 'children' call you a geek?
Laurie, Alcester

Survival of the thickest?
Brian Ritchie, Oxford, UK

Why are some families changing?
Stuart Sands, London

Nigel Short v. the ZX-81?
Suz, Paris

Explain evolution in five words or less.
Candace, New Jersey, US

Sperm donor being chased by the CSA?
Janet Beavis, Nottingham

What is the name Carol Vorderman and Richard Whiteley's recently published joint autobiography?
Stewart Holden, Nottingham

Why do I win at poker only when wearing denim?
Ibbi, Portsmouth

Name 2 of the 91 ways to get your LBQ entry published
Stewart Holden, Nottingham, UK

All wrong. The correct question was what have doctors denied is the secret to a long life, after identifying factors that people could actually affect.


THURSDAY

Thursday's answer is "HALF THE FISH"

Entries are now closed. Wrong questions included:

I'll have steak tartare and the Mermaid will have ........
Adele, London

"Mummy, what's that orange thing hanging out of Sooty's mouth?"
Sarah, Maidstone

Carpe diet?
Dave Godfrey, Swindon

What's 50 perch cent?
Rob Falconer, Penarth

The good news is I've found Nemo. The bad news?
Sean, Leamington Spa

According to Bernard Shaw, what does GH( spell?
David Edwards, Bury St Edmunds

Angling unwritten rule: if the one that got away is 4 foot long, in reality to have a good idea of the actual size you would have to what?
Jayne Suttle, Swanage

It may only be __ __ __, but it's turbot charged!
Gerry T, Faringdon, England

What do you get to sleep with if you mildly annoy the Mafia?
Theodor Bierhoff, Felpersham

If that's Handrew the chip, who's that?
Valérie Ganne, Llandough, Wales

What are so, la, ha, tu, kip, ro, pilc, min, monk, mack, pla, ba, gold, stur, flou and pi?
Jeff, UK

How many surrealists does it take to change the joke?
TB, Spain

'By Toutatis!' cried Asterix as Unhygenix slapped him with the remains. Obelix had eaten the rest, but of what ?
Hugo Dyer, London

You're playing a pantomime fish? No, I'm just¿
Ellie, London

You know it's a bitter divorce when both parties want?
Slu, Liverpoool

Scaled down ?
Bazza, Bromley

The fraction that got away.
John C, Oldham

What's the result of taking the Michael?
Neil, Birmingham

In the new 18 rated horror version of Ally McBeal, who is she now dating?
Iain Bowie, London

Demi-cod?
C. Earl, Batley

Dave Godfrey, Swindon

What would you expect to find attached to half of the fish?
Liz, Caerphilly

Delia Smith's chant whilst watching Norwich City FC
Gemma S, York

When the whale exploded, people in Taiwan were covered in what?
Robin, Herts

>(^)% / 2 =
Andy Donaldson, London

Solomon goes fishing?
Candace, New Jersey, US

What do I get if I ask for twice the chips?
Stuart Sands, London

What proportion answered the surrealist questionnaire?
Kieran Boyle, Oxford

Which of the following is no longer in Rob Liddle's diet: cream cake; pizza; cod and chips; cheeseburger; pie; beer; crisps.
Adrian H, Southampton

Culinary opposite of "the whole enchilada" ?
Simon Walke, Mexico City

What, after 30 episode, was Top Cat so tired of eating?
Suz, Paris

If half a woman doesn't need half a man what doesn't need half a bicycle?
Peter Jones, Hull

"Jesus. These people could do with the carbohydrates. I recommend that we double the bread and ___ __ ___"
Dave Godfrey, Swindon

Principal ingredient in the recipe for a demi-Marillion?
Joel Hames, London

THE F
Stewart Holden, Nottingham, UK

All wrong. The correct question was how much of one particular food is the average UK adult's diet deficient?


WEDNESDAY

Wednesday's answer is "IT IS AS IT WAS"

Entries are now closed. Wrong entries included:

Is you is or is you aint ma baby?
Jacob Busby, Southampton

"Status quo" in Rumsfeld speak.
Ellen, US

Mensa test question #54 - complete the following pattern:
IN IM DS IN ZAS
IP IO CS IP YAS
IR IQ BS IR XAS
Amanda, Niigata, Japan

I noticed that the LBQ hadn't refreshed at 1600 GMT. Is it still unrefreshed at 1620?
Anthony Wallenda, London

The British record on successful Martian landings?
Chris, Bracknell, UK

The Blair mantra 'things can only get better' has given way to what?
Dan Martin, London

Peter Andre's record sales after being in the jungle?
Mark, Selby, UK

What are 'come as you are' parties called at the Retirement home for 'it' girls?
Ruth, London

Noah: "Lord, any chance the weather forecast might change?"
Jon, London

I didn't do it.
Nobody saw me do it.
You can't prove a thing.

Bart, Springfield, Kentucky

Result of a Tommy Cooper magic trick?
Mark, Paignton

What's the Harry Potter version of Ctrl+Z?
Ainy, US

The inevitable result of "Ground Force: Revisited"?
Adrian H, Southampton

Deja vu?
Amanda, London

I've lost half a stone, does my bum look big in this?
Lesley, High Blantyre

What is the chilling last line in the re-translated book of Genesis?
Ed McGuire, Motherwell

So what was the band called before you changed the name to Status Quo?
Peter, London

Well I switched it off and switched it on again, but ...
Ann, Brighton

Mission state for the Campaign For The Protection Of Rural England?
Kip, Norwich, UK

Stoicism for simpletons?
Leanie

Doctor, is your ferameter three degrees out?
Franchesca, Belfast

Groundhog Day?
Chris Ford, Bristol, UK

How does Rob Liddle describe his marathon training compared to last year?
Mark Starling, London

Verdict of the tech support man sent to work in an abacus factory?
Tim G, London, UK

What would have been a disappointing ending for Back to the Future?
Dave Godfrey, Swindon

Chris Tarrant's show to be revived, same format as before?
Robin, Herts

Translate the Scouse expression "Irriz arriwoz, like."
John, Southport, UK

New constitution of The Society for Apathetics after their AGM?
David, UK

They say the next big thing is here,
That the revolution's near,
But to me it seems quite clear,
It's all just a little bit of ...
James I, UK

If retro had a motto, what would it be?
John C, Oldham

Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose?
Kev, Shepton Mallet, UK

What were the opening moves in the final of the Bad Scrabble Players Championship?
Alan C, Bracknell

What did the Adamms family's obituary to their cousin read?
Andrew Culley, Grantham

Is, or is it not, as, as it were, it is, or is, or is it not, as, as it were, it was?
Adrian H, Southampton

Working title for Tiswas?
Janet B, Nottingham

But it was like that when I got here
Ibbi, Portsmouth

What's the name the WAS NOT WAS tribute band?
Chris, Cambridge

So Donald, how are the known unknowns and the unknown unknowns coming along?
Graham Campbell, Edinburgh

What would be the last thing you would want to hear at a penis enlargement clinic?
Chris24, Luxembourg

What is the moto of the Aimish people?
Andy Donaldson, London

What's the aim of the "saw a woman in half" act?
Sion, Fleet, UK

All wrong. The correct answer was what was the Pope's reported reaction after seeing Mel Gibson's controversial film The Passion of Christ?


TUESDAY

Tuesday's answer is "FAMILIES ARE CHANGING"

Entries are now closed. Wrong questions included:

Why did Frodo and Bilbo go off with the elves at the end of The Return of the King?
Keith Baggins, Nowhere, US

Poor excuse as to why naturists are late for an appointment?
Slu, Liverpool

How did John Lydon defend his foul-mouthed outburst during a live family reality show?
Steve, Bucks

In 1992 I had to bring my girlfriend home for my mum's approval. Last night my mum brought her new boyfriend for my approval. Why is this?
Chris Earl, Batley, West Yorks

Only possible excuse for naming someone Pedro Van Pedro?
Stuart Harcourt, Gravesend, Kent

Why are my mum, her sisters and the dog all getting hot flushes at the same time?
Rhiannon, Egham

1954: We gathered round the wireless for the news.
2004: We gather round the TV for "I'm a Celebrity..." Conclusion?
Edward Green, Oxford

Bob Dylan in middle age?
Ian Watson, Sandy, UK

My dad would have killed me for stealing his credit card. How has Tom Smith survived?
Paul Etherington, London

Microwaveable roast chicken with roast potatoes, vegetables, gravy, and all the trimmings for one. Why ?
Phil, Nimes

What phenomena has been blamed on the widespread availability of Adobe Photoshop?
David Edwards, Bury St Edmunds

Raise life, Ma?
Adrian H, Southampton

Relative adjustment?
Chris Ford, Bristol, UK

So, What do Martians look like?
Pauline Fearn, Herne Bay

How to bother Bush, Part I: Emphatic Statements
1) Grammar is not optional
2) ____ __ _____
Suz, Paris

Dad, Over. Here, Over. Where's Mum, Over. On her way, Over. Roger that, Over and Out.
Candace, New Jersey, US

I have 1 and 1/2 brothers and 1 and 1/2 sisters, my sister has 1 sister, 2 X 1/2 brothers and 1 step sister and 1 step brother, my brother has 2 step sisters, a sister and 2 X 1/2 brothers,there are 3 boys and 3 girls. Why?
Chris Whittle, London

The latest census showed the existence of people like Mr Church the Vicar's husband, Master Webb the Internet Designer's son and Miss Information the Spin Doctor' daughter. What does this prove?
Simon, Birmingham, UK

Addams and Swiss Robinsons disembarking at Crewe?
Pedro van Pedro, mk, uk, ok

Why was I told to come back later when I visted the Werewolves Support Group?
Stuart Sands, London

Why has my dream of a sleek, silver, topless sports car...turned into a 7 seater MPV?
Richard C, Camberley, UK

What's the new non-gender specific version of Wife Swap called?
Simon Varwell, Inverness

I'm my own Gran'pa. Discuss.
Kip, Norwich, UK

There are currently 91 ways that...
Matt H, Imperial College London

At the swimming pool, what goes on in the 'Family Changing' area?
Mike Yeaman, Newcastle upon Tyne

At first I thought it was the times, now I realise that...
Matt H, Imperial College London

All wrong. The correct question was by saying what did Tory leader Michael Howard signal a shifting position on subjects such as gay rights.


MONDAY

Monday's answer is "91 WAYS"

Entries are now closed. Wrong questions included:

Lord Archer, how do I get to Grantchester?
Adrian, Southend-on-Sea

If High=27 and By=64, what do Highways and Byways add up to?
Ian Watson, Sandy, UK

90 ways to be slightly mean and 92 ways to be very mean. What's the mean total?
Slu, Liverpool

Given the apparent failure of the 'third way' in the 1990s, how many ways can we expect by the year 2100?
Philip Whitehead, Abingdon, UK

Why are pigeons so confused by Spaghetti Junction?
Suz, Paris

In the Britain's 100 Favourite Random Words countdown, what followed '92: string'.
Ellie, London

The classic Frank Sinatra song My Way has been re-written to embrace diversity.....
Peter, Scotland

In the official listing of north east Surrey street names there are 267 Roads, 125 Streets, 17 Gardens, 140 Avenues, 52 Crescents, 97 Closes and .....
Andy Donaldson, London

100 is way too many, take 9 off.
Brian, Bolton UK>

What has 91 Means?
Richard Ford, London

Alluding to Si Griffin is just one of what to get your LBQ published?
Stuart Sands, London

There are 17 Waxleys in the London phone book. What comes next?
Janet B, Nottingham

"Grass-hopper, when there are no roads in the desert how can the blind man find water?"
Kieran Boyle, Oxford

Rather than "All", "XCI viae" is the actual number of roads that lead to Rome. How many is this?
Adrian H, Southampton

Wayne: Way
Garth: No Way
Wayne: Way
Garth: No Way
Wayne: (for about 1 minute)
Garth: What did you just say ?
Phil, Nimes

Given that around 10% of respondents are incompetent, how many methods (out of 100) of answering this question are likely to be valid?
Adrian H, Southampton

Where did the 39 steps lead to?
Robin Hughes, Cheadle

In your 20s there are 101 ways to please your lover, how many ways are there in your 30s?
Richard Sockett, Sheffield, England

Exactly how many rays did you see Mr Ross?
Graham Campbell, Edinburgh

Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way Way?
Chris Ford, Bristol, UK

In the book "101 ways to be lazy", how many entries were there?
Steve, Brighton

Before asking for directions, the average male will try....
Robin, Herts

How many were there before I decided to do it my way?
Parminder, Leeds

How can you tell when the yacht "sham 16" is in serious trouble?
Paul.B, High Wycombe, UK

How many ways are there to leave 1.82 lovers?
Jeff, UK

In average how many times per episode did the Fonz express his coolness
Andy Cottier, London

I follow the progress of the liberation of Kuwait and listen to The Shamen, I'm still stuck in my...
Crispian, Oxford

Send her a text Rex... progress now means there are how many ways to leave your lover?
Ben, UK

In line with efficiency gains provided by new working methods and the introduction of computers, how many ways are there to skin a cat in 2004?
Gavin, Guildford

At the last count, how many ways were there to not receive a mention on the LBQ ?
Jonathan, London, UK

All wrong. The correct question was how many different methods of cheating on your partner have been identified by researchers.




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