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Last Updated: Friday, 17 October, 2003, 14:31 GMT 15:31 UK
The Lunchtime Bonus Question
To bookmark the Lunchtime Bonus Question, use the address www.bbc.co.uk/magazine
Welcome to the Lunchtime Bonus Question.

The rules are simple. Every day at 1030BST we give you an answer. You then tell us what the question was.

Marks are deducted for predictability, and a selection of your most wrong questions are published each day until about 1500 BST when the actual question is revealed.

FRIDAY

Friday's answer is "THEY MUST BE DUSTY"

Entries are now closed. Wrong questions included:

No sign of a successful entry from me in weeks. I wonder what's wrong with the screens at The Magazine?
Richard Carpenter, Camberley

Cartoon Character's Handbook, Rule 453: When thrown off a cliff, followed by a large anvil, characters must emerge from the ground completely unhurt but __ __ _ __.
Mike Yeaman, Newcastle upon Tyne

How can you tell a typical student by his coursebooks?
Jessica Wilkins, London

I hate meeting people, what do have to do to my hands to make sure I say hello and goodbye in the same handshake?
Paul.B, High Wycombe, UK

Oh look! David Blaine's magic cards.
Pete Clark, Linslade

Page 3 girls have accidentally been replaced with photos of cobweb covered Airfix aeroplanes. How did the photo editor mis-hear the requirement for "Photos of models. They must be busty!"
Richard R, Leamington Spa

How are England cricket selectors chosen?
Kieran Boyle, Oxford, England

Gwyneth Paltrow's mirrors all make her look like a wrinkling, cellulite-ridden loser. What's wrong with them?
Kev, Shepton Mallet, UK

Producer: "So Den we'd like to drag you back from the dead, we even got all your old leather jackets in the wardrobe."
Den: "Bl**din' Nora, ________ ______ __ ______"
Kerry, Copenhagen

How do you think those old episodes of El Dorado are doing?
Sharon Shepperd, High Wycombe, UK

What should ornaments be, prior to cleaning?
Gary Pentland, London, UK

What are all these bins here with faces on them?
Phill C, Sheffield, UK

Why isn't my 'bling bling' impressing anyone?
Kirk, Guernsey, CI

What is the first rule of the authentic cowboy boot wearing association?
Kirk, Guernsey, CI

How would you describe the credit cards of Barclay's chief executive?
Ann R., Warrington

Identical twins? On 'Stars In Their Eyes'?? Singing 'You don't have to say you love me"??? Who on earth could they be?
Pedro, MK, UK

How can you tell which are the sub-£100 bottles of wine at Petrus?
Nigel, Southampton, UK

"What was Posh's excuse for throwing out her 5,000th pair of shoes after only wearing them once?"
Iain, London

For your final question in the All-Britain Understatement Championship: how would you describe people who have been buried by a landslide of rocks and dirt?
Edward Green, Oxford

What was my assumption of the state of the shelves and mantelpiece after Michael Portillo had been there for a week?
Tim Galloway, Aberdeen

All wrong. The correct question was how did retired chemist Alan Fosker describe the condition of his glasses, which he sent off to the opticians to be repaired in 1991 and which have now, belatedly, been returned.


THURSDAY

Thursday's answer is "HELLO AND GOODBYE IN THE SAME HANDSHAKE"

Entries are now closed. Wrong questions included:

"When John Prescott became a Single Mum" got off to a disastrous start when the kids greeted him with...
John Coulthard, Bath, UK

Whether my sperm's high on caffeine or "relaxed" on weed, it's still...
Anon

What could be described as "Too fast, too early"?
Stephen Turner, Cambridge

Which celebrity magazine and consumer magazine combined in a gentleman's agreement?
Kieran Boyle, Oxford, England

How did Q describe his latest gadget, a deadly poison-delivering glove?
Catherine O, Maidenhead, UK

Greeting a fellow trapeze artist is likely to result in...
Gerry T, Abingdon, UK

I'd give my left arm to be ambidextrous, then I'd be able to say what?
Adam James, Broughton Astley, Leicestershire, UK

What's the correct response when you get close up and personal then realise the bling bling isn't the real thing thing?
Vicky, East London

When trying to translate lyrics to various Beatles songs into Chinese using the internet translator , what did the chorus to Hello Goodbye come out as?
Robin Thompson, Hull

To save time, next time Peter Mandelson is appointed to the Cabinet, what should Tony Blair say?
Richard Peers, Croydon, England

How would you greet Si Griffin?
Mark, Maidenhead

In brief, describe Henry VIII's third marriage.
Graham Campbell, Edinburgh

Cartoon Characters Exam Question: What are the time-saving benefits of the palm-mounted electric buzzer ?
Simon Walke, Blazingsmoke, UK

One of the problems with DelBoy's French is that he often says ......
Phil Evans, Keele, UK

When people travel at light speed what will it be possible for them to say & do?
Stuart Harcourt, Dartford, Kent, UK

What should J-Lo's next fella do to save everyone a lot of time?
Gaj, Reading

A new fast service branch of the Masons has just opened what is the first part of the initiation?
Andy Sage, Gillingham, Kent

If I had a pink mohawk what would be my response to meeting Iain Duncan Smith ?
Jason S, Southampton, UK

Speed dating is to become even quicker as couples are urged to say ....
Dave Godfrey, Swindon

How could you describe the typical formal greeting from Edward Scissorhands?
Dave Taylor, Leeds

How does the Grim Reaper meet dinner party guests?
Chris Ford, Bristol

All wrong. The correct question was the ability to do what had been perfected by Prince Philip, according to former BBC royal correspondent Jennie Bond.


WEDNESDAY

Wednesday's answer is "I FEEL GOOD"

Entries are now closed. Wrong questions included:

How does Dr Feelgood's son, Ivan, like to be known?
Phil Welch, London, England

What was P Diddy's excuse for bling bling?
Mark Elleray, Birmingham

What does the official Chinese government internet Translator output when fed the Chinese for "Oh my god, that was terrifying! And now all you give me is rice and tea?! I want to defect!" ?
Paul H, Worcester, UK

What's phrase is synonymous with "James Brown Syndrome"?
Phill C, Sheffield, UK

The Anglican church has announced that under any circumstances clergy can't say they are gay. They can only say _ ____ ____.
Mark Shipley, Leyland, Lancashire

The marijuana smokers response when told to drink coffee instead was, 'but hey..........'
Zuki, Bradford

How do you feel?
Bev, Uxbridge

What is the Ergonomics Society motto?
RH, Cheadle, UK

Having Henry VIII Syndrome and going Too Fast Too Early can be bad in the long run, but how do I feel meantime?
Chris Dwyer, Glasgow

I work in quality control for the 'Good Soft cushions' company. What do I do?
S Murray, Chester

Although he's hilarious in the Home Alone series, _ ____ ____Fellas is Joe Pesci's best film.
Dave Taylor, Leeds

I may not be bling-bling, but _ ___ ___
Dave Godfrey, Swindon

How did Uncle Sam respond when asked about his reaction to Chuck D's statement: "Hip hop is sucking the nipples of Uncle Sam harder than ever before" ?
Simon Walke, Bling, UK

When stopped by the police for doing 60 in a 30 zone whilst careering all over the road, what is the least advisable opening phrase to use ?
Simon, Market Harborough

In the papal entrance exam for the rank of cardinal, candidates are asked what they experience when entering the pope's presence. An unfortunate typo can turn a successful answer into what phrase?
Ian Watson, UK

What should you not say to your boss when she calls you to find out why you've been signed off work for a month?
Sarah Findlay, Cape Town

What is the easiest word to make, an simple word to make, and an impossible word to make, using matches?
Barry, Bromley

Being followers of the method school of acting Richard Briers and Felicity Kendall had to get into character before filming their famous 1970s BBC sitcom. What did they chant?
Kip, Norwich, UK

How do you think other self-centred people will feel about this ?
Barry, Bromley

What was the most common feedback response from representatives after The annual Scotch Whisky Association conference?
Guy Thompson, London

How did scientists describe the disposition of the marijuana affected sperm, just before it burned out?
Sarah Findlay, Cape Town

How do Steve Clarke, Dave Hay and Janet Powell feel, now they are back using their cars to get to work?
Richard Peers, Croydon, England

So, Mr Brown. How are you doing?
Pedro, MK, UK

How do I react when my question appears and Si Griffin, Dave Godfrey and Dave Williams fail?
Chris Ford, Bristol, UK

With what single phrase did DBC Pierre ruin his dark, miserable image?
Arfie Mansfield, Cambridge, UK

All wrong. The correct question was what were the first words said after takeoff by the first Chinese man in space, Yang Liwei.


TUESDAY

Tuesday's answer is "TOO FAST TOO EARLY"

Entries are now closed. Wrong questions included:

What was fed into the internet translator to get the German phrase "fasten Sie auch, zu früh" ("you chamfered, too also early")?
Simon Ellis, Bolton, UK

Velcro users beware! Keep the hook side away from the loop side until the right moment, or they may become stuck ___ _____ ___ _____!
Paul, Bristol, UK

What was the Georgian Rugby Team's complaint about their game with England and its position in their schedule of games?
Gary Gowans, Edinburgh/Newcastle

Why did Si Griffin suffer burn-out from the Bonus Question?
Nick Nevin, London, UK

When is it not advisable to use a sheet anchor?
Smudge, MK

Since the LBQ went daily, what has my boss not said about my work?
Steve Sutton, UK

The reason I'm now single, is because I opened my mouth ___ _____ ___ ______. He didn't know anything about that barman.
Allyson, Thurso, Scotland

"Proving" he was alive, how did Saddam Hussein go on to describe Rooney's mazy run that ended in an offside call from the linesman?
Pedro, MK,

What is the motto of the SGWTA (Speeding to Get to Work on Time Association) ?
Andy Sage, Gillingham, Kent

Curiosity did not kill the cat. What killed the cat was crossing the road ___ ____ ___ _____.
Mahan, Belfast

When three people were asked to give up their cars for a week, none of them complained that they got to work ___ ____ ___ _____
Dave Godfrey, Swindon

If Fast=4 and Early=3 then what is the equation for 2x4x2x3 in words?
Stuart Harcourt, Dartford, Kent, UK

Monks keep eating until the stroke of midnight on Shrove Tuesday, because they don't want --- ---- --- -----.
Rachael, Cambridge

How do I normally spend my salary?
Stuart Harcourt, Dartford, Kent

What is the title of the prequel to the 'Fast and the Furious'?
Adam B, Netherlands

Cartoon Characters Exam Question: Describe the likely problems caused by lighting your Acme Rocket Skates at the point when you first notice your arch-enemy on the horizon ?
Simon Walke, Basingstoke

Sorry I'm confused, what is the ANSWER? Shakespeare said "To fast, to early - that is the question"
Barry, Bromley

Why do I log on to the Lunchtime Bonus Question at 8am when I know it's.......?
Happy Harpo, Bradford, Yorkshire

Rail bosses claim that delays are now due to train drivers being over concerned about being what?
Mike, UK

Catherine of Aragon blamed the breakdown in her relationship with Henry VIII because he was ....
John H., Germany

Poor cover songs throughout history: The Specials...
Arfie Mansfield, Cambridge, UK

All wrong. The correct question was how did scientists describe the effect of marijuana on sperm, meaning that it can become too burned out to fertilise an egg. Coffee's OK, though.


MONDAY

Today's answer is "HENRY VIII SYNDROME"

Entries are now closed. Wrong questions included:

If you display the propensity to append Roman numerals to your forename, what might you be suffering from?
Adrian MMIII, Southend-on-Sea, England

What do you call Arsenal's use of Roman numerals on players' shirts?
Kieran Boyle, Oxford, England

What do large actors call typecasting?
Mrs H, London

What do callers who are put on hold and forced to listen to Greensleeves eventually succumb to?
Druid, Rickmansworth, UK

If you can't have it your way, just start a new religion is also known as?
John, Kazakhstan

Every programme trailer on ITV over the past two weeks has suffered from what?
Phil Welch, London, England

What is Brian Blessed's excuse?
Nick Nevin, London, UK

Challenged to provide more cultural programming, what has Channel 4 renamed 'Wife Swap'?
Sharon Belsham, Watford

After critical acclaim for Henry VII : This Time it's Personal, Chuck Norris is back as Harry Tudor in ....
John H., Germany

The royal excommunication headline in the 1533 Vatican News was 'Henry VIII sinned, Rome'. How was this mis-reported in Ye Guardian?
Robert East, Newbury, UK

A propensity to stand legs-astride with hands on hips whilst delivering the monthly report is described as ....
John H., Germany

Doctors announce that taking off your ruff and not getting married is a cure for ______ ____ _______
Michael Scott, Great Yarmouth

What is defined as when you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs ?
Dave Williams, Prudhoe

What is the management term for shoppers who abuse the Marks and Spencer product exchange policy ?
Barry, Bromley

So there's no such thing as the beer gut. What is it called now?
Graham, Edinburgh

What does J-Lo have?
Little B, Rainham, Kent

Henry VII had difficulty counting. How is this condition commonly referred to?
Simon, Birmingham

What is the accepted medical term for someone who is a pain in the neck?
Happy Harpo, Bradford

What was the 16th Century equivalent of "Laddish Behaviour"
Chris Dwyer, Glasgow

All wrong. The correct question was what name has been given to a theory that having girls in a family leads the fathers to divorce their wives.


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