Welcome to the Lunchtime Bonus Question.
The rules are simple. Every day at 1030BST we give you an answer. You then tell us what the question was.
Marks are deducted for predictability, and a selection of your most wrong questions are published each day until about 1500 BST when the actual question is revealed.
FRIDAY
Friday's answer is "THEY MUST BE DUSTY"
Entries are now closed. Wrong questions included:
No sign of a successful entry from me in weeks. I wonder what's wrong with the screens at The Magazine?
Richard Carpenter, Camberley
Cartoon Character's Handbook, Rule 453:
When thrown off a cliff, followed by a large anvil, characters must emerge from the ground completely unhurt but __ __ _ __.
Mike Yeaman, Newcastle upon Tyne
How can you tell a typical student by his coursebooks?
Jessica Wilkins,
London
I hate meeting people, what do have to do to my hands to make sure I say hello and goodbye in the same handshake?
Paul.B, High Wycombe, UK
Oh look! David Blaine's magic cards.
Pete Clark,
Linslade
Page 3 girls have accidentally been replaced with photos of cobweb covered Airfix aeroplanes. How did the photo editor mis-hear the requirement for "Photos of models. They must be busty!"
Richard R, Leamington Spa
How are England cricket selectors chosen?
Kieran Boyle,
Oxford, England
Gwyneth Paltrow's mirrors all make her look like a wrinkling, cellulite-ridden loser. What's wrong with them?
Kev, Shepton Mallet, UK
Producer: "So Den we'd like to drag you back from the dead, we even got all your old leather jackets in the wardrobe."
Den: "Bl**din' Nora, ________ ______ __ ______"
Kerry, Copenhagen
How do you think those old episodes of El Dorado are doing?
Sharon Shepperd,
High Wycombe, UK
What should ornaments be, prior to cleaning?
Gary Pentland,
London, UK
What are all these bins here with faces on them?
Phill C,
Sheffield, UK
Why isn't my 'bling bling' impressing anyone?
Kirk,
Guernsey, CI
What is the first rule of the authentic cowboy boot wearing association?
Kirk, Guernsey, CI
How would you describe the credit cards of Barclay's chief executive?
Ann R., Warrington
Identical twins? On 'Stars In Their Eyes'?? Singing 'You don't have to say you love me"??? Who on earth could they be?
Pedro, MK, UK
How can you tell which are the sub-£100 bottles of wine at Petrus?
Nigel, Southampton, UK
"What was Posh's excuse for throwing out her 5,000th pair of shoes after only wearing them once?"
Iain, London
For your final question in the All-Britain Understatement Championship: how would you describe people who have been buried by a landslide of rocks and dirt?
Edward Green, Oxford
What was my assumption of the state of the shelves and mantelpiece after Michael Portillo had been there for a week?
Tim Galloway, Aberdeen
All wrong. The correct question was how did retired chemist Alan Fosker describe the condition of his glasses, which he sent off to the opticians to be repaired in 1991 and which have now, belatedly, been returned.
THURSDAY
Thursday's answer is "HELLO AND GOODBYE IN THE SAME HANDSHAKE"
Entries are now closed. Wrong questions included:
"When John Prescott became a Single Mum" got off to a disastrous start when the kids greeted him with...
John Coulthard, Bath, UK
Whether my sperm's high on caffeine or "relaxed" on weed, it's still...
Anon
What could be described as "Too fast, too early"?
Stephen Turner,
Cambridge
Which celebrity magazine and consumer magazine
combined in a gentleman's agreement?
Kieran Boyle,
Oxford, England
How did Q describe his latest gadget, a deadly poison-delivering glove?
Catherine O, Maidenhead, UK
Greeting a fellow trapeze artist is likely to result in...
Gerry T,
Abingdon, UK
I'd give my left arm to be ambidextrous, then I'd be able to say what?
Adam James, Broughton Astley, Leicestershire, UK
What's the correct response when you get close up and personal then realise the bling bling isn't the real thing thing?
Vicky, East London
When trying to translate lyrics to various Beatles songs into Chinese using the internet translator , what did the chorus to Hello Goodbye come out as?
Robin Thompson, Hull
To save time, next time Peter Mandelson is appointed to the Cabinet, what should Tony Blair say?
Richard Peers, Croydon, England
How would you greet Si Griffin?
Mark,
Maidenhead
In brief, describe Henry VIII's third marriage.
Graham Campbell,
Edinburgh
Cartoon Characters Exam Question: What are the time-saving benefits of the palm-mounted electric buzzer ?
Simon Walke, Blazingsmoke, UK
One of the problems with DelBoy's French is that he often says ......
Phil Evans, Keele, UK
When people travel at light speed what will it be possible for them to say & do?
Stuart Harcourt, Dartford, Kent, UK
What should J-Lo's next fella do to save everyone a lot of time?
Gaj, Reading
A new fast service branch of the Masons has just opened what is the first part of the initiation?
Andy Sage, Gillingham, Kent
If I had a pink mohawk what would be my response to meeting Iain Duncan Smith ?
Jason S, Southampton, UK
Speed dating is to become even quicker as couples are urged to say ....
Dave Godfrey, Swindon
How could you describe the typical formal greeting from Edward Scissorhands?
Dave Taylor, Leeds
How does the Grim Reaper meet dinner party guests?
Chris Ford, Bristol
All wrong. The correct question was the ability to do what had been perfected by Prince Philip, according to former BBC royal correspondent Jennie Bond.
WEDNESDAY
Wednesday's answer is "I FEEL GOOD"
Entries are now closed. Wrong questions included:
How does Dr Feelgood's son, Ivan, like to be known?
Phil Welch,
London, England
What was P Diddy's excuse for bling bling?
Mark Elleray,
Birmingham
What does the official Chinese government internet Translator output when fed the Chinese for "Oh my god, that was terrifying! And now all you give me is rice and tea?! I want to defect!" ?
Paul H, Worcester, UK
What's phrase is synonymous with "James Brown Syndrome"?
Phill C,
Sheffield, UK
The Anglican church has announced that under any circumstances clergy can't say they are gay. They can only say _ ____ ____.
Mark Shipley, Leyland, Lancashire
The marijuana smokers response when told to drink coffee instead was, 'but hey..........'
Zuki, Bradford
How do you feel?
Bev,
Uxbridge
What is the Ergonomics Society motto?
RH,
Cheadle, UK
Having Henry VIII Syndrome and going Too Fast Too Early can be bad in the long run, but how do I feel meantime?
Chris Dwyer, Glasgow
I work in quality control for the 'Good Soft cushions' company. What do I do?
S Murray, Chester
Although he's hilarious in the Home Alone series, _ ____ ____Fellas is Joe Pesci's best film.
Dave Taylor, Leeds
I may not be bling-bling, but _ ___ ___
Dave Godfrey,
Swindon
How did Uncle Sam respond when asked about his reaction to Chuck D's statement: "Hip hop is sucking the nipples of Uncle Sam harder than ever before" ?
Simon Walke,
Bling, UK
When stopped by the police for doing 60 in a 30 zone whilst careering all over the road, what is the least advisable opening phrase to use ?
Simon, Market Harborough
In the papal entrance exam for the rank of cardinal, candidates are asked what they experience when entering the pope's presence. An unfortunate typo can turn a successful answer into what phrase?
Ian Watson, UK
What should you not say to your boss when she calls you to find out why you've been signed off work for a month?
Sarah Findlay, Cape Town
What is the easiest word to make, an simple word to make, and an impossible word to make, using matches?
Barry, Bromley
Being followers of the method school of acting Richard Briers and Felicity Kendall had to get into character before filming their famous 1970s BBC sitcom. What did they chant?
Kip, Norwich, UK
How do you think other self-centred people will feel about this ?
Barry, Bromley
What was the most common feedback response from representatives after The annual Scotch Whisky Association conference?
Guy Thompson, London
How did scientists describe the disposition of the marijuana affected sperm, just before it burned out?
Sarah Findlay,
Cape Town
How do Steve Clarke, Dave Hay and Janet Powell feel, now they are back using their cars to get to work?
Richard Peers, Croydon, England
So, Mr Brown. How are you doing?
Pedro, MK, UK
How do I react when my question appears and Si Griffin, Dave Godfrey and Dave Williams fail?
Chris Ford, Bristol, UK
With what single phrase did DBC Pierre ruin his dark, miserable image?
Arfie Mansfield, Cambridge, UK
All wrong. The correct question was what were the first words said after takeoff by the first Chinese man in space, Yang Liwei.
TUESDAY
Tuesday's answer is "TOO FAST TOO EARLY"
Entries are now closed. Wrong questions included:
What was fed into the internet translator to get the German phrase "fasten Sie auch, zu früh" ("you chamfered, too also early")?
Simon Ellis, Bolton, UK
Velcro users beware! Keep the hook side away from the loop side until the right moment, or they may become stuck ___ _____ ___ _____!
Paul, Bristol, UK
What was the Georgian Rugby Team's complaint about their game with England and its position in their schedule of games?
Gary Gowans, Edinburgh/Newcastle
Why did Si Griffin suffer burn-out from the Bonus Question?
Nick Nevin,
London, UK
When is it not advisable to use a sheet anchor?
Smudge,
MK
Since the LBQ went daily, what has my boss not said about my work?
Steve Sutton, UK
The reason I'm now single, is because I opened my mouth ___ _____ ___ ______. He didn't know anything about that barman.
Allyson, Thurso, Scotland
"Proving" he was alive, how did Saddam Hussein go on to describe Rooney's mazy run that ended in an offside call from the linesman?
Pedro, MK,
What is the motto of the SGWTA (Speeding to Get to Work on Time Association) ?
Andy Sage, Gillingham, Kent
Curiosity did not kill the cat. What killed the cat was crossing the road ___ ____ ___ _____.
Mahan, Belfast
When three people were asked to give up their cars for a week, none of them complained that they got to work ___ ____ ___ _____
Dave Godfrey, Swindon
If Fast=4 and Early=3 then what is the equation for 2x4x2x3 in words?
Stuart Harcourt, Dartford, Kent, UK
Monks keep eating until the stroke of midnight on Shrove Tuesday, because they don't want --- ---- --- -----.
Rachael, Cambridge
How do I normally spend my salary?
Stuart Harcourt,
Dartford, Kent
What is the title of the prequel to the 'Fast and the Furious'?
Adam B, Netherlands
Cartoon Characters Exam Question: Describe the likely problems caused by lighting your Acme Rocket Skates at the point when you first notice your arch-enemy on the horizon ?
Simon Walke, Basingstoke
Sorry I'm confused, what is the ANSWER? Shakespeare said "To fast, to early - that is the question"
Barry, Bromley
Why do I log on to the Lunchtime Bonus Question at 8am when I know it's.......?
Happy Harpo, Bradford, Yorkshire
Rail bosses claim that delays are now due to train drivers being over concerned about being what?
Mike, UK
Catherine of Aragon blamed the breakdown in her relationship with Henry VIII because he was ....
John H., Germany
Poor cover songs throughout history: The Specials...
Arfie Mansfield,
Cambridge, UK
All wrong. The correct question was how did scientists describe the effect of marijuana on sperm, meaning that it can become too burned out to fertilise an egg. Coffee's OK, though.
MONDAY
Today's answer is "HENRY VIII SYNDROME"
Entries are now closed. Wrong questions included:
If you display the propensity to append Roman numerals to your forename, what might you be suffering from?
Adrian MMIII, Southend-on-Sea, England
What do you call Arsenal's use of Roman numerals on
players' shirts?
Kieran Boyle,
Oxford, England
What do large actors call typecasting?
Mrs H,
London
What do callers who are put on hold and forced to listen to Greensleeves eventually succumb to?
Druid, Rickmansworth, UK
If you can't have it your way, just start a new religion is also known as?
John, Kazakhstan
Every programme trailer on ITV over the past two weeks has suffered from what?
Phil Welch, London, England
What is Brian Blessed's excuse?
Nick Nevin,
London, UK
Challenged to provide more cultural programming, what has Channel 4 renamed 'Wife Swap'?
Sharon Belsham, Watford
After critical acclaim for Henry VII : This Time it's Personal, Chuck Norris is back as Harry Tudor in ....
John H.,
Germany
The royal excommunication headline in the 1533 Vatican News was 'Henry VIII sinned, Rome'. How was this mis-reported in Ye Guardian?
Robert East, Newbury, UK
A propensity to stand legs-astride with hands on hips whilst delivering the monthly report is described as ....
John H., Germany
Doctors announce that taking off your ruff and not getting married is a cure for ______ ____ _______
Michael Scott, Great Yarmouth
What is defined as when you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs ?
Dave Williams, Prudhoe
What is the management term for shoppers who abuse the Marks and Spencer product exchange policy ?
Barry, Bromley
So there's no such thing as the beer gut. What is it called now?
Graham, Edinburgh
What does J-Lo have?
Little B,
Rainham, Kent
Henry VII had difficulty counting. How is this condition commonly referred to?
Simon, Birmingham
What is the accepted medical term for someone who is a pain in the neck?
Happy Harpo, Bradford
What was the 16th Century equivalent of "Laddish Behaviour"
Chris Dwyer,
Glasgow
All wrong. The correct question was what name has been given to a theory that having girls in a family leads the fathers to divorce their wives.