Mr Hawkins told the court he loved his children
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A father accused of stabbing his four-year-old son to death and trying to kill his daughter blamed the 'evil inside' him, a court has heard.
Christopher Hawkins, of Royd Street, Slaithwaite, Huddersfield told Leeds Crown Court he had no recollection of the attack on Ryan and Donna, 14.
The boy was knifed nine times, two of which penetrated his heart. His sister was left scarred from 13 stab wounds.
Mr Hawkins denies murder and attempted murder and claimed he was 'insane'.
The attack happened when Donna went to collect her brother who had been spending the weekend with their father on 23 September at Mr Hawkins house.
According to the teenager when she arrived at the house Mr Hawkins locked the door before brandishing a knife.
The court heard the children's father was upset after splitting up with their mother Valerie Gee.
Giving evidence Mr Hawkins said: "It wasn't me that day. It was like some evil inside me.
"I must have been insane that day. If I was sane that day Ryan would be here now and my daughter would not have those horrific scars."
The jury was read extracts from a series of notes allegedly written by Mr Hawkins, which described his anger over his wife's new boyfriend Lee Tinker and an alleged date for killing his son.
Metal worker Mr Hawkins accepted the notes were in his handwriting but claimed he had no recollection of writing them.
About his son Mr Hawkins, told the court: "He was the perfect son. I couldn't have asked for a better son. Why it happened I do not know, he meant the world to me."
The trial continues.
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