Dying son's 'home-from-home' care

Naomi House was home for Sam Jackson's son's last days

Sam Jackson's son Ethan died in Naomi House last June.

He had a rare and incurable neurological illness and had spent months in Southampton General Hospital - Ethan was three years and 10 months old.

Ms Jackson, who has three other sons, told BBC News they wanted to be together as a family when he died.

It was a very stressful time with Ethan being in hospital and away from his brothers - because he'd been in hospital for months and it was a long way from our home.

I'd only get to see my other three boys at the weekend. By that stage I was just desperate to get out of the hospital.

When I first came to Naomi House I thought it was fantastic. They have everything to care for children - including Ethan's brothers. They loved it.

It's a home-from-home and the staff are lovely. We felt very relaxed coming here.

Time for cuddles

The most important thing for us at that time was being together as a family.

When he was in hospital Ethan's brothers would only see him for a couple of hours a week - and I knew Ethan didn't have long left to live. I could see him deteriorating every day and I just wanted to have time to be together.

I wanted his brothers to have happier memories other than just seeing Ethan in hospital.

Ms Jackson said she was given crucial time with all her children.

Ethan needed a lot of care.

With the fact that he was going to die, I needed to give time to his brothers to explain what was going to happen and to emotionally support them at this crucial time, and we were given that support.

The biggest part for me, personally, was that Ethan's medical needs were looked after and I had time to give him cuddles, read stories, listen to music with him and do the nice parts of spending time with a poorly child; knowing all the time that when I wasn't with him he was being well looked after.

The other big part was the practical day-to-day things you need to do - like cooking and shopping - we didn't have to worry about any of that.

Once Ethan died, we were able to stay here until the day of his funeral.

He was put into the Butterfly room - a special room with a bed which we had access to 24 hours a day - and that I think played a crucial part in everyone coming to terms with what had happened.

You can keep going there and see him. It gave time for us all to adjust.

Family decisions

There were support workers available for us - and to help me and the boys.

The biggest part for everyone in the week of Ethan's funeral was that we included his brothers in all the decisions, like the type of coffin, hymns, prayers - they were included in everything.

Ethan's brothers were able to join him at Naomi House

We went out and bought stickers for his coffin and they plastered it in stickers - they were almost excited to be preparing for his funeral.

We were given a lot of support to make it the kind of day we wanted.

The support and love we received from Naomi house was invaluable.

When I look back at the time and how it was handled there was nothing that could have been done better.

I can't imagine it being any better even if I had been at my own home.