Teaching the birds and the bees

Parents should not just rely on teachers for sex education

by the BBC's Susanna Reid

Parents are being encouraged to talk frankly to their children about sex.

The Family Planning Association is releasing a new video which advises parents to talk to their children well before they are of school age.

On the subject of sex education, at best many parents are embarrassed and at worst they are silent.

Family Planning Assoc: "Tell children the facts of life young"

Not single parent Andy Olly. He is happy discussing puberty and sex with his eight-year-old son Miles.

He sees him every weekend and brings the subject up whenever they are comfortably engrossed in one of their favourite activities.

While Miles concentrates on drawing a monster, his Dad asks if it is a boy or a girl. He can then use the opportunity to discuss gender differences, without embarrassment.

"I think it's as straightforward as teaching your child to cross the road" says Andy.

"You wouldn't dream of failing to give your child such important information to protect them from getting run over - I'd argue that it's the same with sex."

But over at the Family Planning Association, they know many parents are not so happy talking about sex.

Hence the video, which gives parents advice on how to cope with the questions children can bring up in the supermarket like "Where do babies come from?"

The video does not deal with homosexuality and it does not cover marriage - both controversial issues which have dogged debates about sex education.

But the FPA may provoke controversy in its advice that parents should discuss sex education with children as young as five.

Anne Weyman: "Talk to your children"

The FPA's Chief Executive Anne Weyman says the younger the child, the better.

"All the evidence shows that when you talk to children when their young, they're more likely to start sex later - and use contraception when they do have sex.

"There's no evidence to show that if you tell them about sex they go out and try it, which is what parents may be afraid of."

Many parents hope they can leave their children's sex education to teachers.

This month the government issued guidelines to schools in England and Wales in an effort to reduce the number of unwanted pregnancies amongst school children.

But sex education is a minefield, and some teachers have been upset by the advice.

"What teenagers learn in the classroom on a Monday morning can easily be forgotten by Friday night out on the town", says John Dunford of the Secondary Heads Association.

"Teachers can play a role, but they shouldn't be blamed for teenagers getting pregnant."

Teachers and parents know it will take more than either a video or government guidelines to overcome the embarrassment of talking about sex.

But since the UK has the highest rate of teen pregnancies in western Europe, family planning advisors say it is a taboo that must be broken.