How bullies destroyed my brother

It is said many "truants" are refusing school due to bullying

Watching the news last week, Mariam was struck by a report about the bullying of disabled children. She wrote to us about her brother, Mark.

I am 20 years of age and I have an 18-year-old brother who is autistic.

He could not speak until he was five and had many problems throughout his school life.

Mark attended a school for autistic children until he was eight. There he was taught to read and write.

The teachers were amazing, they assessed him accordingly and gave us relevant feedback on how Mark was getting on. The improvement was great!

Then he attended a mainstream school where he was bullied immediately.

Although teachers were informed about such situations, not a lot was done to help.

Mark was allocated a mentor who sat with him during lessons. She helped him a lot and he managed to get through his exams.

Attendance

Secondary school was very hard for him.

The bullying never stopped although he chose to go to a different school to his former bullies.

It seemed they were everywhere he went. Mark was alone, he had no-one.

Regular meetings were held with his teachers and the headmistress to discuss the bullying and how to get Mark to go back to school, as he became too afraid to attend sometimes. Not much difference was made.

Mark hated going to school but, suffering in silence, he went - trying his best to learn even though his autism was frustrating and restricted him from doing things and learning at the same level as everyone else. He tried so hard.

He was mugged by three boys in his year when he was about 14. His confidence and security was destroyed. It was like his world was over.

The hurt and pain had all turned into anger. He always had a bad temper. We now know why.

Withdrawal

He was still refusing to go to school. The teachers encouraged him to come back for the sake of his education. I feel there was not enough done to restore his confidence.

Due to all this Mark has become very unsocial; he rarely leaves the house unless it is to attend college, where he has now made a great group of friends all sharing the same interests as him.

He still has problems going near his previous school as the memories haunt him.

He jumps when the phone or doorbell rings and refuses to answer it. He has problems making friends, meeting new people.

He has locked his feelings away which have turned him into a volcano, waiting to explode and let out the anger from all those years ago.

This is what bullying has done to him. Because he was different to others.

He has special qualities that the bullies didn't see or know. Now he is studying an access course for university, in college. He has progressed highly.

Support

However I feel that much more could have been done to help him cope with the bullying and teasing he was coping with for almost 10 years.

There is a lack of understanding within society as to how these situations can affect a person on a long-term basis.

Schools and colleges could do so much more to offer help and support to the victims of bullying.

As for the actual bullies, more could be done to make them understand how their victims feel when they get picked on.

Sitting them down and giving them warnings is simply not enough. They need to place themselves in the victim's position and feel what they feel.

The help and support Mark was getting when he was younger seemed to disappear as soon as he began attending a state school. This is what started to make him go downhill.

Programmes should be introduced, creative programmes to offer support to those with a disability after facing bullying.

People who travel the country visiting and meeting people, victims and bullies. Having sessions and workshops in order to get children to understand how important bullying is. One lesson of personal social and health education (PSHE) is not enough.

Bullying is not a joke. It can ruin your life and other people's lives.