Childline reveals home truths

Many young people feel isolated

Childline says its report gives a "child's eye view" of the effects that problems in the family, such as the death of a parent, divorce and domestic rows, can have on younger members.

The report from the free national helpline for children in distress is called "Unhappy families: unhappy children". Its findings are based on calls made last year by more than 13,000 children with problems at home.

The main message is that children must be listened to and reassured during troubled times. It says parents should not assume that because a child is not speaking out they are taking everything is their stride. According to the report, children often keep silent for fear of adding to a parent's anxieties.

Lucy Tobin, Editor of Mizz magazine, whose readers are mainly between the ages of 11 and 14, says it is not just parents from whom young people feel isolated, but also their own age group.

"Young people often want to be seen as being cool and it's very difficult for them to admit that they are having problems at home, especially if they are embarrassing problems. They are often not at an age when they feel they can openly discuss their problems with their friends or even know how to talk to their friends about them," Ms Tobin says.

A family affair

Family concerns were the second most common reason for children to get in touch with Childline, the first being physical and sexual abuse. Most calls were from children who were living with lone parents or step-families or whose parents were going through a divorce.

The report says that parents in these situations are often so absorbed in their own worries that they are in danger of ignoring the effects on the children.

The report adds that it can take years for children to adjust to domestic upheavals, such as divorce or remarriage of parents.

Talking helps

Mary MacLeod, editor of "Unhappy families: unhappy children", says that what has mainly happened in the families where children ring Childline is that communication has broken down. "Family members have stopped listening to each other's point of view," she says.

"Keeping lines of communication open is the single most important factor. Children and young people value being listened to, having their views as well as their feelings acknowledged and being treated with respect."

Childline has published a leaflet for parents which gives tips on dealing with family crises.

Mizz magazine is including a special supplement, based on the Childline report, in its latest issue, advising readers on what to do when they fall out with a member of their family.