Tamil ex-militant: 'I just want peace'

Arun (not his real name) was a member of a Tamil militant group in Jaffna, northern Sri Lanka, until it was abolished by the rebel Tamil Tigers during a power struggle.

He now runs a small business in London and he lobbies European governments for a resolution to the conflict in Sri Lanka.

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In the early 1980s there were various Tamil militant groups in Sri Lanka

It started early for me. In 1981 my father, who was a police inspector in Jaffna, was shot dead.

Nobody really knows who is responsible for his killing. I was angry. I was only 11 years old.

I had five brothers and sisters and at this time in our life there were government round-ups all the time. They arrested my brothers on suspicion of being involved with the Liberation Tamil Tigers of Eelam [LTTE].

My brothers eventually had to leave in 1985. They came to Europe.

It was a total waste. Nobody wanted war. We felt persecuted by the government and the LTTE. They both took our freedom and our liberty.

I joined another militant group operating in Jaffna at the time. The LTTE banned all other organisations and we were banned so I had to leave for Colombo. It was after that the Battle for Jaffna began. The fighting became terrible. I wasn't there for that.

I still have political involvement with my old militant group. We believe we have to finish the problem.

'Army got me'

I had to leave the country because in October 1990, the army got me and they really didn't trust me.

They put me in jail for six months and even after I was bailed and released, I was still an object of suspicion. My mother came down from Jaffna and explained that my father had been a police inspector. But I was no longer safe.

I don't want a separate state, I just want peace. We lobby the European governments. The LTTE want a separate state because they want power. They don't want peace - that's why they demand a separate state.

People have been suffering for 50 years and there is still no solution after 25 years of war.

It's true that the LTTE is popular. Another thing is that the government appears to be doing so many bad things to people. But because other militants were banned there is only one solution and that is the LTTE - whether people like it or not. They have to like it - that is all there is.

'All collapsed'

I miss Sri Lanka. I've seen so many other countries on my way here but I want to go back. I want to see my house, my high school. I miss my school, my school friends. I don't know what they are doing now.

I wanted to be a solicitor. My dad and mum approved of that ambition. That's all collapsed now.

My house was big, better than here. We had a car and a garden.

I've been here 10 years and I don't feel British. I'm waiting to go back. I believe I will go back.

Only my cousin is there now. She looks after the house. It's damaged but it is still there. In my village there are hardly any people left because the army was there.