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Thursday, 10 February, 2000, 16:29 GMT
Don't get mad - get online

Paul Hafiz website Paul Hafiz finds himself exposed online


A mother seeking revenge on her former partner has created a web site revealing intimate details of his life and his alleged shortcomings.



See how you would feel in my position
Paul Hafiz
Cindy Chapman, from Waterlooville in Hampshire, has set up more than a dozen pages about Paul Hafiz, under the headline Is this the most selfish man in Portsmouth?

The site includes personal details about how their relationship began and ended, a detailed breakdown of of Mr Hafiz's earnings, a page listing his alleged debts, family photographs - and even a transcript of a bugged phone conversation between him and his brother.

Ms Chapman has been quoted as saying the site is designed not for revenge, but to highlight her campaign to persuade Mr Hafiz to pay maintenance for their daughter. She also says she wants to "show the world" what kind of man he is.

Mr Hafiz told BBC News Online he was very distressed by the site.

"Substitute your name for my name and see how you would feel about it," he said.

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"I'm trying desperately to continue as I have been. At the moment I don't want to dignify this farce with any further comment."

Mr Hafiz is not the first man to find himself at the centre of a highly public humiliation after the end of a relationship. Lady Sally Graham-Moon set up the Old Bags' Club, a support group for deserted first wives, following a much publicised revenge spree on her errant husband, which included slicing up his best suits and distributing the contents of his wine cellar on neighbours' doorsteps.

Even the foreign secretary, Robin Cook, found details of his marriage breakdown in the public domain after his former wife, Margaret, wrote a book about his alleged mistresses and drinking.

Change in law

Women who visit Ms Chapman's newly-created site are invited to leave their own stories of husbands and boyfriends who have deserted them or are not paying maintenance.

Ms Chapman asks for documented cases of fathers who have avoided paying maintenance. She says she plans to submit the results to her local MP and will press for a change in the law.




It's one click for womankind
Hilary Burden
"For an errant father to still be able to see his child whilst the mother struggles against the odds to pay bills, and buy clothes for the child, is an obscenity," she says on the site.

"It is an insult against everything the mother has tried to do.

"It's time for change, and the children must come first. They don't ask to be born, and if men do not wish to become fathers, they can take measures against it."

Hilary Burden is women's media director of BEME.Com - a website launched exclusively for women.

She believes www.selfishman.com is a great example of how women can use the internet to improve their lives.

"I think it's one click for woman kind," she told BBC News Online.

"The internet and technology have opened up a world for women that has not been there before. You can take control of your life."
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