From drugs to sex education, smacking to television viewing habits, there are moral implications.

Slapping your screaming child may be an instant remedy, but what are the long-term effects?

Even watching a video may demand some moral questioning

Does it make you a child abuser? Will they always resent you for it? Will they become complacent about violence?

A generation ago most mothers would not have given it a second thought. Today, it can lead to a visit from the local constabulary, says Valerie Riches, of Family and Youth Concern.

It is a truism that you need a licence to keep a dog or drive a car, but, in the words of Keanu Reeves, in the movie Parenthood, "They'll let any asshole be a father".

The point, says Susan Littlemore of ParentLine, an advice hotline for troubled mothers and fathers, is that parents are frightened of getting it wrong.

"One woman I know summed it up when she said that 'children do not come supplied with instructions'," says Ms Littlemore.

It has always been the way but the changing face of the contemporary family has confused matters, she says.

Moral high ground: Tony Blair urged parents to share responsibility with the state

A decline in the extended family means parents can no longer rely on relatives for a ready source of advice in times of difficulty, says Ms Littlemore.

More of the old certainties are on the wane.

Recent research commissioned by ParentLine suggests the traditional nuclear family will soon be in the minority. By 2010, more children will be raised by step parents or single parents than by married couples.

Only last week Oxo announced it was pulling its famous "Oxo family" advertisement campaign after 16 years because "family life is changing".

These changes are set against a range of social issues both real and perceived. Drug misuse, child abuse, a decline in religion, the belief we are living in an increasingly violent society.

The debate over sex and violence on the airwaves means parents' moral integrity is tested every time their children switch on the television or log on to the Internet.

Frequently, there is no absolute right or wrong on these issues, rather an ocean of "grey area" in between.

Home secretary Jack Straw's son, William, was cautioned for cannabis dealing

Ms Littlemore says those calling ParentLine are often struggling to understand exactly what their responsibilities are.

"First they want to let go of all the hurt and anger and then we help them identify the problem, so they can see a way forward," she says.

The biggest problem they deal with is truancy, followed by parent-child relationship problems and then drug and solvent abuse.

The government has sought to usher in some order with a range of legal measures, such as evening curfews, designed to keep children on the straight and narrow.

'Too much red tape'

But Valerie Riches says this sort of "officialdom" is the problem, rather than the solution, since it undermines parental authority.

"The role of government is to cushion people and support those who generally need help. It's not there to intervene," she says.

She cites a recent case she heard of in which a mother smacked her misbehaving toddler outside school only to be confronted by the headmistress who threatened to call the police.

"Mr Blair should be aware that it was under a Labour government that the policy was introduced in 1974 that parents should not be told about the provision of contraception to their under-age daughters.

"This has been extended to include abortion and his own government has said that parents should not be told if their children in schools are involved in underage sex, homosexual sex and drugs.

"On the one hand the government wants parents to be responsible for their children's behaviour while on the other hand makes it virtually impossible for them to be so. Tony Blair cannot have it both ways."

Six steps to better parenting

• 1) Talk and listen to your children. Building good communication in families is important, not just parent to child, but also between mother and father.
• 2) Positive discipline. Encourage them in a positive way, with praise, not smacking them when they've done something wrong.
• 3) Respect your child's feelings, even if they have been voiced to hurt you.
• 4) Seek outside help. Every parent is in the same boat and needs help and advice. But also trust in yourself - no one knows your children better than you.
• 5) Befriend other parents, so you realise you are not on your own.
• 6) Enjoy family life. Don't get hung up on discipline, success or failure. Have fun with your children.