Guests pay out for wedded bliss

A big day - but can you even afford to be a guest?

A quarter of all Britons will attend at least one wedding during 2004, spending a total of £3bn for the privilege, a survey suggests.

The Morgan Stanley Credit Card poll of 2,000 adults found being present on the happy day cost each guest an average of £294.

Wedding gifts were the most expensive element - £94 per guest on average.

This was followed by travel and overnight accommodation, which cost an average of £79 per person.

In its regional breakdown, the research found people living in the East Midlands were looking forward to the most weddings, with almost a third (29%) attending at least one marriage this year.

New hat

Guests from this region expected to pay £17 on wedding-related travel and accommodation, compared to the £196 needed by Londoners just to get to the event and stay nearby.

THE COST OF BEING A WEDDING GUEST Total: £294 Present: £94 Travel and accommodation: £79 Source: Morgan Stanley

Guests from the East of England were most generous when it came to presents, spending £174 each on the bride and groom.

They also planned to spend most on their appearance, with outfits costing £108 each on average.

In contrast, guests from the West Midlands spent £39 each on gifts and those from the East Midlands £42.

Almost one in five people in their 20s will also attend a hen or stag night, at an average cost of £135 for women and £238 for men.

Cake crumbs

A far cry from the traditional few quiet drinks to send off the bride or groom to be, the modern hen or stag night has evolved into a costly weekend extravaganza.

The cost of the outfits adds up

This will involve at least one night away for 62% of men and 42% of women - 17% of men attending a stag "do" will spend at least three days away.

Patrick Muir, marketing director of Morgan Stanley's consumer banking group, said: "The modern day British wedding has changed.

"With this evolution has come added expense and not just for the bride and groom.

"With the exception of a napkin full of crushed cake, guests might find their pockets rather empty at the end of the celebrations."

---

What is the most you have spent as a wedding guest? Do you think the cost of weddings is getting out of hand? Read selection of your comments:

Why do we need another toaster or a fondue set anyway? Shiz, Cheshire, UK

We're due to marry in August and, like many, have lived together for some time beforehand. As a result we've put a condition on our guests that we insist absolutely no presents - without exception. Why do we need another toaster or a fondue set anyway? We invited everyone to join us to celebrate our marriage, not so that we could rack up a load of gifts.
Shiz, Cheshire, UK

Anyone expecting me to buy an expensive wedding present (or an engagement present ) or a new outfit to attend their wedding is going to be disappointed. I can't believe the figures in the article. Some people must have more money than sense. A wedding is a minor blip in life's rich tapestry not the major event that some people make out of it!
Jackie, Australia (ex UK)

The most expensive wedding was last year a stag night in Las Vegas, a UK stag night, accommodation at the wedding, gift etc - all in all about £3000. Luckily the groom paid for all the drinks at the reception or else a mortgage would have been in order.
Mike Nield, London

Spray tan - £30
Dress - £40
Shoes - £50
Accommodation - £50
Drinks - £40
Hair app - £60

It all adds up.
Taryn, Birmingham

We're getting married in September this year and the cost of weddings can be ludicrous. People seem willing to accept that it will be expensive and so just don't shop around. We've come up with original twists on conventional traditions and managed to slash the cost for ourselves. On top of that, we're having our gift list with a company that compiles a list using many other companies, which means we can shop around and thus get a better price on our gifts for our guests.
Laura, Southampton

Who are these average wedding guests? When I got married we were lucky if some couples spent so much as £30 between them on a gift. The average seemed to be £50. Am also fed up of being invited to weddings only to have to put my hand in my pocket straight away and buy drinks. If you can't afford it, have a smaller wedding!!
Lucy, Madrid, Spain

My mother-in-law even made the wedding dress Trevor Fenning, Jena, Germany

Cousins and friends of mine have spent 20-30k plus on their weddings, but I married my Greek wife in Greece, where things are a bit different. My mother-in-law even made the wedding dress. My (UK) family's costs of getting to the wedding were the charter airline tickets etc, and the entire reception for 200 guests cost not much over 2000 pounds. And much less stressful than the UK versions too.
Trevor Fenning, Jena, Germany

Close to $1,000. It was my pen-pals wedding in Boston, USA, so I spent 3 weeks on vacation with them first.
Lesley Bryant, Turkey

When we looked into our wedding it was going to cost between £8000 and £10,000 - and that was without being extravagant. So now we're going to spend around £3000 and go abroad. Our families are coming with us and it's going to cost them about £300 to £500 each but for that they get a holiday in the sun to boot! Much better I think than one day here in Britain...
Clare Withington, Stoke, Staffs

Well, mine was cheap and cheerful - register office, pub lunch afterwards and a UK break. Clothes, thanks to a high street fashion retailer....about £600 all in, excluding holiday spending money. To top it off, all my guests said that it was the most relaxed and enjoyable wedding they had ever been to!
Charley, Wilts, UK

I'm going to a hen night tomorrow (Saturday) and will not be spending anywhere near the £135 mentioned in your article. 20 of use are heading to a restaurant for a meal and some drinking, for about £50 each. The wedding day is costing quite a lot though. New outfits, presents and so on all add up, but it's worth it to see friends make the commitment of a lifetime.
Louise, Essex

Wedding presents that would do Royalty proud Eamonn Wynne, Aberdeen, Grampian

I have just been on a stag do in Dublin with the groom to be and pals, the most expensive city in the world. It would have been cheaper to go to the finest hotels/ restaurants in Monte Carlo. My wife's new wardrobe for the wedding knows no bounds. This also includes brand new top of the range clobber for me. Wedding presents that would do Royalty proud. Hotel bookings, car hire and a million other things and we are simply guests. I am terrified to count the cost but as long as I can keep working till I am 95 and win the lottery this weekend I will be OK.
Eamonn Wynne, Aberdeen, Grampian

As British citizens living abroad, we have to fork out a hell of a lot for weddings back in the UK. We're attending one in July and have already paid over 300 pounds for flights and accommodation, that's before we've even thought about outfits and a present!
Barbara, Germany

This is a topical story for me right now. My girlfriend and I have been invited to several Spanish weddings this year, and one English. The Spanish are very direct about wedding gifts, on one invite I have they have put a bank account number to which you give money, it is expected that you cover at least the cost of the meal which people tell me is at least 100 euros per guest. It is for this reason I am contemplating not going to several of these weddings.
Jon, Barcelona

Well it is my wedding in 12 weeks time, and to be honest I feel like a guest. So in answer to your question £20,000.
Simon, Essex