The torment of being held hostage

by Paula Dear
BBC News Online

The father of five felt guilty about what his family was going through

No one can possibly imagine what thoughts are going through the mind of hostage Ken Bigley, after nearly two weeks in captivity in Iraq.

But one fellow Briton knows more than most about what it is like to face the horror of a hostage situation.

British man Gary Teeley, who was held hostage for six days in Iraq earlier this year, has joined calls for the release of captive Ken Bigley.

Mr Teeley was snatched from a house in the southern Iraqi city of Nasiriya by a large gang of Iraqi militiamen on 5 April this year.

The laundry firm consultant, who lives and works in Qatar, was in Iraq to cover for an American friend and colleague who had asked for time off.

"I was just about to leave the house for work, when through the window I saw these guys running towards it, carrying heavy guns, dressed in black and wearing masks.

"The living room door was put in and the first thing I saw was a guy holding a rocket launcher.

I thought any minute a guy might just walk in here and shoot me

"As soon as one gun was pointed at me I thought I was going to be shot. Then one gun became six guns. Within 30 seconds I was out in the street.

"The shock to the system was incredible."

Mr Teeley was later taken to his first "prison" of the many he would see over the next six days.

"I thought any minute a guy might just walk in here and shoot me."

The following day a firefight between Italian forces and Iraqi militia raged outside for 11 hours.

"It was horrific, I was just waiting the whole time for a bomb to hit the house. Then afterwards I kept thinking, what happened and who won?

"If the militia had been defeated, maybe they would come in and take it out on me, I thought."

Gary Teeley was handed over to Italian troops on his release

Mr Teeley, who has a wife and baby son in Qatar and four children from a previous marriage, asked his captors "30 to 40 times a day" whether they intended to shoot him or release him.

As far as he knows, he had been mistaken for an American or Israeli and no specific demands were being made for his release.

On the morning of his birthday, 8 April, he was moved to a different location.

"I was put in a room. Then the door opened and four guys were stood there. That was the worst time of all.

'Keep your chin up'

"They beat me, then had me on my knees blindfolded. Barrels of guns were pushed to my head, I was just waiting for it.

"I started to think I'd rather be shot that go through this."

For seven hours he was tormented with swords, hand grenades and guns.

"When I was left on my own at night I thought about trying to get out. But I didn't really think I could get away with it. You're thinking, 'stay with it, you're doing well, keep your chin up'.

"But I also got angry with myself for not doing something. I said to myself 'are you a man or not?'"

Things took a dramatic turn when Mr Teeley was driven around 30km outside the city, and taken to a house where he met two new captors he refers to as Mr A and Mr H.

"I got very close to Mr H. He was a big man, well dressed, clean, and spoke English. I made him laugh.

Your imagination can go a little crazy if you're not careful

"I believe if it had not been for them I wouldn't be standing here today."

Over the following days they talked about the Iraq war, Saddam Hussein, 11 September and Osama Bin Laden, and Mr Teeley told jokes about US president George Bush and UK prime minister Tony Blair.

"They told me I was courageous," he says.

Following what he believes was an intervention from his company's chairman he was released.

"Mr H came into the room, holding out his arms, with a big smile on his face and he said 'Mr Gary, now you go see baby'. That was an unbelievable feeling."

Thoughts of his baby son and the rest of his family had only added to the torment while he was being held, says Mr Teeley, which is something Mr Bigley is likely to be going through.

"I'm so close to my mum and I knew she would be beside herself. I felt a lot of guilt, especially if I was going to die.

"I didn't want my children to think I had given up my life for the sake of money."

Ill effects

Ken Bigley's state of mind will depend mostly on what is happening around him, and how much information he has, said Mr Teeley.

"How are they feeding you, do they hand it to you or throw it at you? Do they kick you? Do they hold guns to your head? All these things affect how you cope.

"Does Ken Bigley have access to the outside world? For example if he hears about the damage the US is doing in Fallujah he'll probably worry that his captors will take it out on him.

"And he'll know he had two American colleagues who are not there now. Have they told him what happened to them?

"Your imagination can go a little crazy if you're not careful."

Since hearing of Ken Bigley's plight, Gary Teeley has had some sleepless nights.

"It was the first real ill effects I had felt since my release. Last week I felt like I was a member of Ken Bigley's family.

"When I was captured I didn't really know what my family was going through, but now I feel like I do."