Jon Yuill, the BBC News Online Rail Commuters' Champ, is launching Going Loco - his hunt for your bizarre and barmy tales of train travel.
Going Loco is a hunt for your bizarre tales from the railways
Send your story at the bottom of this page
Well, now we've seen it all. Wrong kind of snow, wrong rain and wrong leaves have all brought our ageing rail system grinding to a halt.
But those already familiar with bizarre excuses would surely doff their caps to the unfortunate passengers on a recent train at Leicester Station.
Panic broke out when a ferret was spotted running amok. Undeterred by efforts both to evade and to capture him, the ferret then made its way to the front compartment, where it broke into the drivers' lunchbox and proceeded to eat his cheese sandwiches.
A Midland Mainline spokesman said passengers were "all going crazy", scared that the ferret was going to bite them. Eventually, RSPCA inspectors boarded the train and took the ferret away in a cardboard box. It has now been made acting head of the Strategic Rail Authority. Actually, I made that last bit up. It's actually a Revenue Inspector.
It's such a cracking tale, I'm launching BBC News Online's search for the nation's most bizarre and absurd stories from your rail travels.
WHO IS JON YUILL
Jon was elected rail commuters' champion by users of BBC News Online
His role is to speak up for the commuter
We want to hear your anecdotes about train travel - and not just the funny ones. How about the absurd, or the frightening? Has fellow passengers' behaviour caused you to cringe in embarrassment? Or have you yourself done something so breathtakingly stupid, you just can't wait to share it with several million people?
In many of the stories I have come across in my years of commuting, alcohol inevitably plays its part.
There are enough of us on the trains - so there are plenty of good stories
A particular favourite as witnessed by myself goes as follows. Returning home one evening some years ago, in the days of slam door trains (I know, they're still in use), a city worker who was obviously suffering the effects of one too many pink gins, sat opposite and promptly fell asleep, snoring loudly.
The journey that evening was painfully slow, and we ground to a halt in the darkness. Feeling the train come to a stop, the man suddenly woke from his stupor and, before anyone could stop him, opened the door and leapt out, thinking it was his station.
There was a muffled cry as he landed with a thud on the track some four feet below him. Stifling giggles, the rest of the carriage helpfully watched as he clawed his way back up into the carriage, then doubled-up in hysterics as he went to the other side of the train and repeated the process!
So get typing and send your entries using the form below, and we will feature the best. Please include a phone number where we can contact you.
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