BBC NEWS Americas Africa Europe Middle East South Asia Asia Pacific
BBCi NEWS   SPORT   WEATHER   WORLD SERVICE   A-Z INDEX     

BBC News World Edition
    You are in: UK  
News Front Page
Africa
Americas
Asia-Pacific
Europe
Middle East
South Asia
UK
England
N Ireland
Scotland
Wales
Politics
Education
Business
Entertainment
Science/Nature
Technology
Health
-------------
Talking Point
-------------
Country Profiles
In Depth
-------------
Programmes
-------------
BBC Sport
BBC Weather
SERVICES
-------------
EDITIONS
 Monday, 23 December, 2002, 15:54 GMT
Top 10 Christmas cracker jokes
Pull a cracker?
"What's ET short for...?"
We asked you to send in your favourite cracker jokes. To set the tone, we gave you as an example this Totally Crackers joke about elephants:

"What's grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow?

"An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth."

Open in new window : Make a cracker
A step by step guide to make your own cracker

Below are the 10 of your jokes we found funniest, in reverse order. Don't blame us - you sent them in.

10. Gary, UK
Did you hear about the two ships that collided at sea? One was carrying red paint and the other was carrying blue paint. All the sailors ended up being marooned.

9. Patrick Molyneux, England
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.

8. Neil Biswas, England
What athlete is warmest in winter?
A long jumper.

7. Sonya, UK
Why are chocolate buttons rude?
Because they are Smarties in the nude.

6. Caroline, England
How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?
Wi' Jammin
What does Bob Marley say to his friends when he buys doughnuts?
Hope you like Jammin too.

5. Kazza, UK
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a boogie in it.

4. Elizabeth Elwell, Australia
What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
Nothing. It just let out a little wine.

3. Dave McWhirter, UK
Why did the man get the sack from the orange juice factory?
Because he couldn't concentrate.

2. John Warland, UK
What did the inflatable teacher at the inflatable school say to the inflatable child caught holding a pin?
You let me down, you let your friends down, you let your school down but most of all... you let yourself down.

1. Daniel Huntley, Aberystwyth, Wales
What's ET short for?
Because he's only got little legs.

See also:

Internet links:


The BBC is not responsible for the content of external internet sites

Links to more UK stories are at the foot of the page.


E-mail this story to a friend

Links to more UK stories

© BBC ^^ Back to top

News Front Page | Africa | Americas | Asia-Pacific | Europe | Middle East |
South Asia | UK | Business | Entertainment | Science/Nature |
Technology | Health | Talking Point | Country Profiles | In Depth |
Programmes