Amazing tales from Planet Tabloid

Planet Tabloid will return on Friday 3 January 2003.

In the meantime, there's always room for Punorama. You were invited to send us puns based on the story about the infestation of fleas at the EastEnders' pub.

There was a bumper response, such as might be fitting for an East End Christmas knees-up.

"Time gentlemen fleas," is Alan Aldred's order. "Fleave it ahht!" is Tim Footman's tipple. Craig Kenny wants "The seven beer itch". A half of "Flea-on Beale" for Bryn Attewell, and a large "It's Shane Itchy!" for Darren Spicer. "Scratchings with that pint sir?" for John Bownas. "Drinks are on the louse," for the rather oddly named gentlemen in the corner, Chris.Red(UK). "Everybody's talking about itch," says the laterally-thinking Jon Field.

Thanks for that everyone. Your Christmas homework is to invent a pun for the heart-warming story about the chap whose Nissan Sunny was nicked - only for him to find it on the street again, supertuned and raring to go - much more smoothly than it ever had before.

Your pun



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