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EDITIONS
Wednesday, 30 October, 2002, 13:52 GMT
R.I.P. Full English Breakfast
FULL ENGLISH BREAKFAST has seen its last dawn, market researchers have announced.

Full English - or Fry-up, as it was affectionately known to those who found calorific comfort in its fried bacon, sausage, mushroom, eggs and tomato - could not survive in the modern world.

According to Datamonitor, notoriously unhealthy Fry-up was killed by a flurry of activity. Britons are increasingly busy in the mornings and Full English was just too "time consuming to prepare".

Nick Brown eating a full English
Fulltime for Full English
Though cooking burns 100 more calories an hour than sitting down, people neglected Full English (admittedly 127 calories per sausage) in favour of convenience foods they could wolf down on the way to work or actually at their desks.

"Deskfast" fare such as cereal bars and, God forbid, fruit are preparing to dance on Full English's grave, says Datamonitor.

There are even rumours Full English's evil foreign enemies (Swiss muesli, French croissants and American muffins) had a hand in the death.

Full English may not even be survived by its old haunts. More than one in nine old-style "greasy spoon" cafes have shut down since 1997.

Fry-up's legacy may linger in the very heart of the information age blamed for its demise.

Full English was instrumental in the writing of the Monty Python spam sketch (Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg, sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg, bacon and spam..."), which gave annoying and unsolicited mass e-mails their nickname.

Full English is thought to be survived by an identical twin across the Irish sea, Ulster Fry.

There is also a relative north of the Border, Full Scottish. Almost identical to its Sassenach sibling (except for the addition of haggis), Full Scottish has weathered a recent assault by Gillian Kynoch, Scotland's "food czar".

No flowers.


Some of your tributes so far:

What will the nation do for a good hangover cure now? R.I.P bacon and eggs, you will be missed.
Simon S, Oxfordshire, UK

I killed the fry-up.... Burp! mmmmm...
Ali, UK

Rumours of the death of the full English breakfast are greatly exaggerated. It has merely retired to hotels and guest houses around the country.
Simon Richardson, UK

I am both shocked and upset at the death of full English fry ups. It is with out a doubt my favourite grub in the Universe. I have travelled all over the world and have never ever had a meal that comes close to my runny eggs, greasy limp bacon, bloated sausages, bowel-moving beans and thick black pudding.
Tim Kain, london

No doubt a post mortem will reveal high blood pressure and cholesterol levels as the primary cause of death.
Tony, UK

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