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Monday, 25 March, 2002, 14:32 GMT
R.I.P. Consignia
R.I.P. Consignia, the death is expected imminently of Consignia, after a short and unhappy life, aged just one-and-a-bit.

It never fully recovered from its traumatic birth, in which seemingly everyone who was made aware of the new arrival snorted, laughed, tutted, and made a joke about how it reminded them of the lost luggage desk in a Spanish airport.

The passing will come as a blow to its parents, R Mail and P Office, who had had high hopes for their new delivery. They had wanted the youngster to keep them in their old age as it made its own way in the world, sashaying naturally along boulevards, strasses, and piazzas where it could be truly moderne.

Post box
Consignment box
They hoped by careful choosing of the name, their young one could be equally respected whatever language its customers spoke.

Sadly for the parents, it never quite managed even to stroll along a High Street without encountering hoots of derision. This badly knocked its confidence and even began to make people think that the parents had "lost it".

Friends will have wondered if its fate had somehow been foreseen when, earlier this year, its new boss told a newspaper: "Would I like to change the name? Yes I would."

Ill-health has also stricken other members of the family, notably Parcelforce, although the nature of the illness is very different.

Although never widely popular, Consignia was a fully fledged member of a community which includes fellow members Diageo, Accenture, Corus, Innogy, Amicus, and Centrica, all of whom feel that in their modern style and outlook they are representing the spirit of the age.

They will no doubt be hoping that the demise of Consignia does not indicate that the times have changed.

No flowers.


Add your tribute to Consignia by using the form below.

The sympathy card was sent 10 days ago?
Fraser, UK

"Consign to thee, and come to dust."
W.Shakespeare, Cymbeline Act 4, sc.2
Jane, England

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25 Mar 02 | Business
Consignia cuts 15,000 jobs
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