Page last updated at 14:58 GMT, Wednesday, 9 September 2009 15:58 UK

Bed sharing: Your comments

Man asleep in bed
Better health for the single sleeper?

Sleeping in a separate bed from your partner could help your relationship and your health, according to experts.

Dr Neil Stanley, who runs the sleep laboratories at Surrey University, says poor sleep is linked to depression, heart disease, strokes, lung disorders, traffic and industrial accidents - and can lead to divorce.

Here is a selection of your comments:


My ex-partner used to snore so badly that I had to sleep in the spare room otherwise I simply could not function the next day. It was one of the factors that eventually broke us up. I think he was too conditioned into thinking that a healthy relationship meant sleeping in the same bed regardless of how it left us at the end of the night. The majority of our relationship I did try to stay in the same bed, but the final straw was when I was constantly down, grumpy and ill - getting frequent colds - my immune system suffered from lack of sleep and I decided enough was enough. My ex-partner took it very personally when I decided to sleep in the spare room. PP, London, UK

My husband and I share the same bed and we both sleep just fine. I think that the size of the bed matters. We have a king-sized bed, which ensures that we both have enough space to move around without disturbing the other person too much. Julie, Isleworth, UK

I slept apart from my ex-husband for nearly 15 years. Blissful sleep and always healthy. In fact I was often told by friends still sleeping with their partners that I looked ten years younger than my age. As did my ex-husband. Now I'm in a new relationship and have shared a bed for three years. It has taken its toll. Disturbed nights with snoring or just being semi-woken when the other turns or gets up for a drink or the loo. The added tension sharing a bed brings after a row. I have aged and I'm not as full of energy as I was. I don't enjoy sharing a bed but I cant tell my partner that. He would be most offended and see it as a threat to our relationship, while I feel it could only enhance it. Tessa, Chichester, West Sussex

I agree entirely. I used to suffer from my wife 'stealing' the sheets and spreading out on the bed on a nightly basis. The best solution I believe though is to buy a super king-sized bed. Best thing we ever did. Lots of spare room and covers, and you still get to be together. Steve Wood, Leeds, UK

I've been sharing the same bed with my wife for three years now, since that time I have been facing a problem of snoring. When I snore my wife shakes me so that I dont, so this has always disturbed me during the night and now I plan to buy a new bed for myself, so that we can be in the same room with different beds. Mwizarubi Edwin Nyaindi, Musoma,Tanzania

I do not sleep with my husband and have not since 1980; I am 68. We are both very healthy. It hurts my back to sleep flat. I must sleep curved and twisted; by the time this is accomplished, there is no room for him; so I leave and sleep on the couch. Linda, Brewster, MA, USA

My wife and I have slept together for nearly thirty years, and miss each other dreadfully whenever we have to sleep apart - my body doesn't know what to do with itself, which way to turn, when I am alone. She also cannot sleep properly. When we are together, we go to sleep and wake up with our legs tangled together. We often congratulate ourselves on the benefits, physical and psychological, of sharing a bed. It nourishes us both. We think it would hardly be worth being married if we didn't have this nightly appointment to close off the day. Should we reconsider? Denis Mahaffey, Chacrise, France

I absolutely believe this to be true. My wife snores and I am awakened every night as I am just falling asleep. As much as I try, it frustrates me, changes my heart rate, respiration, peace of mind and consequently I can't sleep - until I or she eventually goes to another room. I think sleep is for sleep. I would be fine with not sleeping in the same bed. She feels sleeping apart robs us of intimacy. I believe the opposite. It only breeds resentment in the non-snorer. Andrew Garcia, Dalton, MA, USA



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