<% ballot="522485" ' Check nothing is broken broken = 0 if ballot = "" then broken = 1 end if set vt = Server.Createobject("mps.Vote") openresult = vt.Open("Vote", "sa", "") ' Created object? if IsObject(vt) = TRUE then ' Opened db? if openresult = True AND broken = 0 then ballotresult = vt.SetBallotName(ballot) ' read the vote votetotal=(vt.GetVoteCount(ballot, "yes")+vt.GetVoteCount(ballot, "no")) if votetotal <> 0 then ' there are votes in the database numberyes = vt.GetVoteCount(ballot, "yes") numberno = vt.GetVoteCount(ballot, "no") percentyes = Int((numberyes/votetotal)*100) percentno = 100 - percentyes ' fix graph so funny graph heights dont appear 'if percentyes = 0 then ' percentyes = 1 'end if 'if percentno = 0 then ' percentno = 1 'end if else ' summut went wrong frig it numberyes = 0 numberno = 0 percentyes = 50 percentno = 50 end if end if end if %> Tuesday, November 16, 1999 Published at 15:28 GMT
Attracting Martian tourists - Your reaction
Bedlington offers "pensioner rates for haircuts, and discounts on food and clothing" to Martians
How would you advertise your town? BBC News Online readers explain how they would encourage Martian tourists to pay a visit.
Launch a giant series of lights into space that would orbit the moon. The light would be powered by the Sun's rays and be about two miles in length. The lights would spell out 'Welcome to the planet Earth'.
I would wave a big fluorescent stick with "free wine and cheese" written on it.
Given the dry conditions on Mars, offer 'free water'.
I would try to get them with an old fashioned Bar-b-q- and some music and beer drinking and try to show them a good time eating and drinking and dancing.
Leaving out all politics, but sharing good conversation, such as stories and jokes.
But I think their stories would be much more interesting. But the bar-b-q would be the highlight.
Forget gold, frankincense and myrrh. Offer them what any self-respecting alien wants...money and power.
I live in Silverton Colorado (population 300) which is located in the heart of the Rocky Mountains and this is some of the most beautiful country I have ever seen. I know for a fact that these alien beings would be very interested in the mineral content and wild life surrounding this area. I would take them on a two week adventure through the mountains. Once we returned, I would take them to some of the mines around here and show them some of the minerals that are in these mountains.
We have a group, working for the SETI-project.
And the group is named: McAlien & Co, the name
Says it all, we make great McAlien-burgers!
Come to Milton Keynes home away from home.
With a Free serving of concrete cow on arrival.
This of course is optional for aliens with a family tree descending back to France.
I would do just as the "Native Americans" have done for the White Man; build casinos for the Martians, and offer them free booze.
I'd start by building interplanetary services so that the Martians could stop halfway for a coffee and a bite to eat. It is a long journey, after all.
They are already here....do you know what an MP is? Martian Person, they seem to be on another planet to me!!
I'm actually a resident of Bedlington, and I'm very impressed that our trade of commerce has taken this step. I don't think we'll get many replies but it would be a laugh to get my hair cut next to a Martian in Clippers (the barbers offering alien discounts)!
Create massive spotlights in all the colours of the spectrum, then project the light at Mars. It's possible that "Martians" aren't able to see particular colours, so it would be a good idea to flash the entire spectrum at them.
After a journey like that, the first thing they will need is a lavatory. Clean and well-appointed facilities should be provided. Next, passport formalities should be kept to a minimum. It would be helpful if a Schengen visa could be issued on the spot and free of charge by efficient and courteous officials. After that, having come this far, they are likely to be interested in adventure. The lower gravity and denser atmosphere on Earth as compared to Mars offers scope for all sorts of exciting activities, such as bungee jumping, parachuting and hang-gliding. They might also be offered tours through the urban jungle of major cities.
I live in Ottawa, Canada. I would lure aliens to my hometown with the slogan "Nothing beats a Canadian politician for flavour and tenderness! Try our Senators!"
From everything we've learned about Mars, the Martians live on a very economically depressed planet! We need to attract visitors from those planets with the economic power and technological know-how to travel a few light years to visit us! Let's beam a few photographs and offer a few dates with some Hollywood Starlets to our friends from the cosmos! If they need a few biological samples in return for a little help with our energy needs and ecological concerns, I nominate the Clintons (his term is nearly up and he'll become a major pension drain soon anyway)!
A series of Dr Who reruns.
Anybody would be a complete fool to lure an unknown possible enemy to their home town- why not just send a message out into deep space giving an hostile race information about humans, or have NASA already done so?
St Paul, a small town in Northern Alberta Canada, have been
trying to attract the Martians with their space vehicle landing pad for
the last ten or more years. With no sucess.
How about a good supply of mars bars!!!
I would take them on a hike. Lots of beautiful woods and trails there. They could experience first-hand wild plant and animal life. Afterward, they could come back to the house, where they would be allowed to have the best beer in the fridge (Samuel Smith's Tadcaster porter, if they're lucky).
Sex! We have better sex than on your planet, and it's free!
Of course, they may have cheap labour markets, or we could 'borrow' technological patents, and make lots of lovely cash, or we could find out more about them and then either invade them, or possibly apply bi-lateral sanctions!
Why, how else: offering them as much peanut butter and dark chocolate as they can consume!!
I would lure Martian tourists to my home town with lovely ladies of the evening with three of everything, and green cosmetics. Also, since I am not sure whether Martians drink tea, I think it would be wise to lay in a supply of quality bottled water.
Here in New Mexico, both in the famous town of Rosswell, and a lesser known incident area in Aztec (New Mexico) there have been HUGE successes in attracting ideas such as a competition for Architects/Planners to construct a "reception" area for Martian visitors. Such competition plans envisage how the beings would flock to such accommodations/hotels/visitor's galleries, and so on. Most of the entrants for this particular competition in Rosswell this year paid $50, just to enter. The idea generally is to develop interactive skills, to house and support those tourists from afar. Including gravity sensitive and airlocked rooms. Festivals and Astronomical dates were also included in the "revised" clocks and calendars for their usage. An advantage would be the difference in gravity-adjusted accommodations. Layout of the village or compound would also need to be "pitched" or arranged for entities who perhaps had no mouths, or fed every other day (for example).
A race that burns and cuts its trees, pollutes its water, fouls the air, heating the planet, firing atomic explosions - and aliens with a sense of humour? Now that is something to laugh about!
Give them FREE lifetime membership to the Playboy Club.