Royal wedding controversy

The Queen will not attend the civil marriage ceremony of her son Prince Charles to Camilla Parker Bowles, Buckingham Palace has said.

A palace spokeswoman insisted this was not a "snub" - rather it was because the royal couple wanted to keep the wedding "low key".

Some lawyers have argued that a 19th Century law bans members of the Royal Family from marrying in civil ceremonies, but the Lord Chancellor insists the ceremony would be legal.

Should the Queen stay away from her son's wedding ceremony? Do you think her decision will be interpreted as disapproval of the marriage? Or is she acting in the best interests of the couple? Send us your views.

This debate is now closed. Thank you for your comments.

---

The following comments reflect the balance of opinion we received:

With everything they do being monitored under such close scrutiny I think it is going to be very hard for them to do the 'right' thing in front of such a divided nation. The best angle to take, in my view, would be to stand up and express unity by all attending. This would earn the most respect by the simple act of seeing a whole family together as one. There is no chance of Charles and Camilla having a private, intimate, 'low key' wedding. I think the press have already proved that since the engagement was announced.
Barny, London

It seems that the Queen is acting in the best interests of the couple in my opinion. Also, it's obvious to me that Charles and Camilla are truly in love and always have been. I'm happy for them because they are now following their hearts instead of worrying about public opinion.
Carla, Dallas, Texas, USA

Not if she doesn't want to! We only had two friends at our wedding and it was great! I'm of the opinion that it doesn't matter who attends the wedding so long as the bride and groom do and they love each other.
Walter Boon, Castleford, UK

Charles and Camilla are hardly in the first flush of youth - both have been there and done that. It is their stated wish to have the whole event "low key", and Charles hasn't even chosen a best man. The Queen has clearly demonstrated her support by planning to attend the blessing and paying for the reception, never mind putting up with it all going on behind closed doors for the last couple of decades! The tabloids should spare us the drama, it's getting very tedious and there's at least another month of it to go!
Ruth, Grantham, US

What mother would want to miss her son's wedding. I think the Queen has every right to be there. Never mind protocol do what is right
Susan Stamper, Lowick Northamptonshire

The Queen has responsibilities other than to her immediate family Shane, Southampton, England

Don't you get the feeling that we're reading too much into this decision? Don't forget that she cannot just act out of personal preference - she is the Queen for goodness sake! The Queen has responsibilities other than to her immediate family.
Shane, Southampton, England

The Queen should do what she feels is right, not listen to the critics. Many of the critics will have divorced or remarried and not given a thought to anyone else. I wish Charles and Camilla every happiness.
Sharon, Billingham England

Does it matter? Who really cares what they do? There are so many more important things going on in the world at present without wasting time on something so trivial. At the end of the day, what is marriage - just a piece of paper.
Rachel, Hants, UK

Ma'am, he's your son. Your presence at the civil ceremony would undoubtedly mean much to him. Please reconsider and be with him at all events on his special day. You have everything to gain by showing your support.
W. Steele-Burnett, NJ, USA

The disparity between the Royals and the people is astounding. The Royals, bless them, still adhere to some set of rules regarding proper behaviour whilst the rest of the UK has abandoned all sense of decorum. It is not the Royals who should change, it is the people of the UK. The Queen should not be dragged down to the level of her son who in my view has behaved very badly simply because the people of the UK think she should. She is the Queen, after all, and should continue to maintain her sense of dignity.
Kate, Watford, UK

I don't remember the Queen asking for our opinion.
E. H., Yorkshire, United Kingdom

Why do we never get the truth from the palace? Stanley, Northampton, UK

Why do we never get the truth from the palace? I've heard so many different speculative views as to why she won't attend. What a farce!
Stanley, Northampton, UK

In a world in total disarray, where millions - if not billions suffer, who cares whether the Queen attends or not.
Berliner, Herzliya, Israel

The Queen is absolutely right not to go to this wedding - a pity she is going to the service of Blessing and reception afterwards as well. By selfishly insisting on marrying this woman Prince Charles has let down his parents, his children and his country. Let us all hope that he is never King. There has never been a better time to pray and sing 'God Save The Queen.'
John, Paris France

How many men in their late fifties get remarried and have their mothers at their wedding? In any case this isn't an event for sniffling into a hanky. It's a long overdue marriage which makes official a very long, middle-aged relationship. I did think it was tasteless and unseemly that Camilla said Charles went down on one knee though.
Laura, Oxford, UK

I really don't understand something. Let the Queen do whatever she feels like doing. Yes she is the Queen, but she is also a human being who is entitled to do whatever she feels like. I think it's her own business if she wants to attend her sons wedding or not.
Shams Mahmud, Hatfield

I'm willing to trust her judgement Lorraine, St Albans, UK

The Queen and her advisers pay a huge amount of attention to the rules of centuries of protocol, many of which might seem ridiculous to the rest of us. The Queen rarely has the opportunity in public to act simply as a mother; she is always on duty and always subject to constraints. She has earned our respect in her 53 years on the throne by making the right choices at important times and I'm willing to trust her judgement.
Lorraine, St Albans, UK

Above all what infuriates and saddens me that most is the way the media (including the BBC) is stirring up largely misguided but ultimately irrelevant public opinion. Can we please talk about something which affects us more directly?
Isabel, Ashbourne, Derbyshire

I grew up in rural America and the royal weddings (Charles, Andrew) were always shown live here. I pretended to be sick to stay home from school for Andrew and Fergie's wedding. The Royal family should move to the US, we would value them and treat them much better than the Brits seem to.
Anna, NYC, USA

Please let them get on with it on their own. Who attends their ceremony is absolutely no business of ours. Does anybody reading the news think that their life will be changed in any way, shape or form whether the Queen attends the civil part of the ceremony or not? If so, breathe deeply, count to 10 and get a hobby.
Paul, Carshalton

If the Queen attends the "civil ceremony", it will, by definition, no longer be a low-key affair.
Ed, Fontainebleau, France

The Queen will be present for the blessing. Why all this fuss? Susan Fielding, Brussels, Belgium

What really bothers me are the indignant headlines of the newspapers. Yet again, the tabloids dictate what the "people" should think. The Queen will be present for the blessing. Why all this fuss?
Susan Fielding, Brussels, Belgium

Of course the Queen should attend Prince Charles' wedding. I'm appalled at the lack of good manners that the Queen is providing as a bad example to the British people. It's time for the Queen to stop worrying about what others may think and treat your son not as a prince, but at the very least, as a son. Common decency should always trump protocol!
Wallace Ryan

It's not a normal royal wedding. The civil ceremony itself is, and should be, just a formality, and it is not a big deal that the Queen is not going to attend it. The Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh have made it quite clear that they fully support the marriage, and will host the reception after the civil ceremony, and as such, we should all leave it at that. Good luck to Charles and Camilla - they've earned a break.
Julian Hopkins, Germantown, MD, USA

Personally, I think that attending the blessing is far more important than the civil ceremony. I do not think that she disapproves of the marriage. The press are stirring up trouble as per normal.
Mark, UK

To us, outside of the UK, this whole thing looks like a storm in a tea cup Vassili, Prague, Czech Republic

To us, outside of the UK, this whole thing looks like a storm in a tea cup. So she does not come, well, good for her if that is what her mother 's heart tells her, good for the tax payer, and let's focus back on the more serious things such as getting the economies of Europe in high gear, working with China, talking to Iran, and so on. Hum, I wonder what tie Prince Charles will wear. Yellow for guilt?
Vassili, Prague, Czech Republic

With the royal family symbolism and gestures mean a lot. For the monarch not to attend the heir to the throne's wedding speaks loudly. In order to show they are royal they need pomp and ceremony yet the more wealth and privilege they show alienate them from the masses. If they are just like the rest of us having low key ceremonies, what makes them royal? Like all anarchism's they are contradictory.
Geoff Kerr-Morgan, Middlesbrough, UK

The Queen might not be going because of security. When royals make visits to foreign countries they never put more then one heir on a plane. With this wedding in a civic centre security is going to be a problem. So they are thinking that certain members of the royal family should not be there just in case something happens.
Tom Usher, Watford

I feel it is so sad that any mother could miss out on her eldest son's wedding regardless of what she feel for Camilla, as long as he is happy with his choice of bride.
Eileen Clark, East Kilbride ,Glasgow, Scotland

The message she is sending is that she will continue to behave in the correct manner her position dictates Ruth Williams, Southampton

The Queen's decision not to attend Charles and Camilla's wedding is surely a decision taken as a Queen as opposed to as a mother and is therefore the right thing to do. The message she is sending is that she will continue to behave in the correct manner her position dictates, unlike a lot of other high profile people.
Ruth Williams, Southampton

Zzzzzzzzz. Wake me up when we are a republic please.
Ross, Edinburgh

I really don't think it's any of our business. They are having a quiet ceremony and it's not like she won't be celebrating with them later.
Louise Downs, Derby

The Queen's actions, and she must have known what the reaction would be, hardly makes the marriage a low key affair. Not now.
Peter, High Wycombe

It's a disgrace that she is not attending but will further the Republican cause - this must be the most dysfunctional family in Britain and it is time they were sidelined!
C Kennedy, Angarrack, Cornwall

Her decision seems practical. The guildhall will be a circus as is, her security would add to the problems. She has approved the wedding, will attend the service afterwards and is paying for the reception. British press reaction on this matter is ridiculous.
Dennis, Chicago, Illinois, USA

I think it's appalling that the Queen is not attending the wedding. As Head of State she is sending out the message, intentionally or otherwise, that divorcees remarrying are not approved by society. She should reconsider.
Lynsey Edwards, Pontypridd, Wales

There is no point in having a Queen and then presuming to tell her what to do.
Martin Porter, London

The Queen's decision is fine by me! She doesn't have to justify it. As long as she reigns, I'm a monarchist. I didn't think I'd ever say this, but I'm beginning to think that once she dies or abdicates we should become a republic.
Alan Trowbridge, Dorchester, UK

My long-term partner and I married last year. We had a civil ceremony followed by a church blessing. We only took two witnesses to the registry office and everyone else came to the church. It was so much better than trying to decide who did and didn't get invited to the registry office. I wish the media would give Charles and Camilla a break, everyone deserves a chance of happiness whoever you are.
Cathy, Lincoln

It is us she is snubbing by being above attending a civil ceremony Ian Hawkings, High Wycombe

The Queen will be at the blessing and reception, and she's footing the bill. It is not her son she is snubbing. It is us she is snubbing by being above attending a civil ceremony.
Ian Hawkings, High Wycombe, UK

Of course she should attend, it doesn't matter what her opinion is, she must know that her not attending will send a message of disharmony within the royal family, just at a time when things could have gone forward with a new optimism. I can't believe that this is not a deliberate, stubborn move - how selfish.
Hilary Mudge, Calne, Wilts

It could be that the Queen will not be attending due to security. This wedding seems to have been thrown together at the last minute and with the recent history of royal security no one could blame her.
Christina Babson, Foxboro, Canada

The sun is shining this morning after a quite chilly start to the day, things in the office are fine and my trips to the gym seem to be paying off. Sorry what was the question again?
Michael B, Wigan, Lancashire, UK

The Queen should do what she feels is the right thing to do for herself in relation to her son. However, I do not think that any other world leading figure (Head of State) would get into the pickle of protocol that the royals seem to manage in this the 21st century.
David Drane, Poole, UK

I'm not that surprised that the Queen is not attending. Her son had an affair with this woman whilst being married to the mother of his children - the Queen's grandsons.
Alan, Glasgow, Scotland

I think the Queen is right to stay away but how can it be a low key affair when they wanted such a lavish reception. I would like to know how the church can bless the marriage when it would not conduct it?
Jo, Coventry

This is just another example of how out of touch with reality the royal family is. This should be a happy occasion for the whole family. For goodness sake, show some emotion and feeling for once!
John, York

I wonder if the Queen's stance has something to do with the possibility that if her uncle Edward VIII had been given the same allowances concerning marriage as her son Charles is getting, her father George VI wouldn't have died so prematurely.
Matt Showering, Southampton, UK

What people seem to have missed is that Queen isn't going, in an effort to keep thing slow key. If she goes, there will probably be crowds of people outside and that is apparently not what Camilla and Charles want. Why do people have to read more into these stories than is necessary?
Tracey, UK

Charles has spent the whole of his life in public service, putting the nation first. He should be allowed some support as an individual Jamie, UK

The question of succession is academic until the Queen either dies or abdicates, at which point Charles may hand over to his son. Unlike most celebrities, Charles has spent the whole of his life in public service, putting the nation first. He should be allowed some support as an individual.
Jamie, UK

I think it is sad that so much is going wrong with the wedding plans. They both looked so genuinely happy when they announced their wedding. Who in all honesty could deny them that happiness? If they are saying that they agreed the Queen's absence together, why can't people accept that at face value? After all she is going to the blessing and paying for the reception. So how can this be called a snub? I just hope nothing else goes wrong for them and the press leave them alone now until the day itself.
Christine, London

Perhaps she should be more of a mother and less of a Queen Marian Brand, Durham

Yes, the Queen should attend the wedding, after all she has a lot of subjects who marry in the registry office, why is it not good enough just because someone is a royal person, and anyway, perhaps she should be more of a mother and less of a Queen and attend.
Marian Brand, Durham

When my wife was granted British citizenship she was required to swear an oath to honour and defend the Queen and her successors. She says its getting harder by the day.
David Armitage, Montherod

This is as tedious and boring as Pete Doherty. With everything else that is going on in the world right now is this really news?
Johanna, London

There are only two important people in any marriage. I'm sure both will be there.
Clive Rose, Hants

I am an out and out royalist. If the Queen decides that she does not want to attend a civil ceremony then so be it. I think Charles' shoulders are big enough to carry that decision. He will understand. The newspapers horror at the Queen's decision strikes one with a lot of hypocrisy.
Stephen Burslem, Bangkok, Thailand

Nobody knows what the Queen is really thinking so everyone should stop speculating. Charles and Camilla seem happy enough with the situation and that's all that matters. It isn't as though the Queen has boycotted the whole thing is it?
Judy Seddon, Cardiff, South Wales

Perhaps the Queen is as bored and indifferent to this proposed wedding as the rest of her population. Apart from the media that is.
Eric Grobb, Windsor, UK

As the marriage will be invalid under law (1836 Marriage Act), there's no point even Charles and Camilla attending.
Graham, Southampton

Who cares! There are more important things happening in the world! If they are so much in love anyway, they won't care if she is there or not, her loss!
Angela, Lanarkshire, Scotland

If she has been invited, she should go Nic, Kent

In privately supporting a couple who has been behaving for years as though they were married outside of wedlock, the Queen has all but endorsed the pair anyway. If, as everyone suspects, the non-attendance relates to her church commitments, then it would just be another prime example of the hypocrisy we come to expect in this country.

As if the wedding isn't going to attract media interest anyway - what difference is she being there going to make? None. So if she has been invited, she should go. For once, someone should come out and speak directly - it would be a first... and I have to agree that there is more important news going on.
Nic, Kent

No she should not go if she doesn't feel it appropriate. People should stick by their principles and the Queen is setting a marvellous example of that.
Julie, Oxford

The royalty aspect should not come into this Stephen, Cardiff

The royalty aspect should not come into this. This is her son, and she is refusing to attend his wedding! I would be devastated if my mother refused to go to my wedding.
Stephen, Cardiff

The Queen should stay away, mind you so should Charles. He has caused more damage to the monarchy than anyone since Oliver Cromwell!
Gordon Loader, Beddington

I feel that if the Queen doesn't want to go to the wedding for whatever reason, she should not go. It is her prerogative.
Lynda Brownlee, N Ireland

Any son would want his mother to be there at his wedding. The Queen is no exception. She should attend and be glad that her son has found true happiness at last!
Sue Williams, Bridgend, Mid Glamorgan

Why are the media insisting on reporting this rubbish? Most polls I have seen, where a 'Don't care' choice has been offered have clearly show that the public really aren't interested!
Neil Foster, Prescot, Merseyside

Yaaaawn!
Robert, Zurich

I would be gutted if my parents decided not to come to my wedding - be it in a registry office or not. Forget royal protocol for one day and be there for your son for once!
Menna, Wales

Why doesn't Charles follow the lead of his younger sister Anne and get married in The Church of Scotland at Crathie? Both Charles and Camilla seem to spend time at Balmoral and enjoy it and it would to my mind get round so many of the problems being faced as well as being quite appropriate and fitting.
Helen, Scotland

Well one thing should be clear here! If Prince Charles is not going to be happy with Camilla it is clear that he will get rid of her, and look for another one to marry for the third time. So I think it is better the Queen stays in her palace - these things will make her tired since Charles is not going to give up on marriage.
Tewodros Daniel, Ethiopia

I feel, with much consideration that Charlie will feel rejected and unloved as his heartless mother has abandoned him however young and charming he may be, on his big day. I however will be attending from my sofa.
Melvin Theodore Brown, Witts End, Bedfordshire, England

This is such a boring and uninteresting topic that once again saved the day for newspapers this morning.
Hugh, London

Who cares?
Martin S, Lympstone, England

I'm sorry, but what on earth has such a question got to do with the BBC, or the readers of its website?
Peter, London

Well, if she didn't want the wedding to take place, why did she give her official permission then? Thank God that in The Netherlands such events cannot take place. The parliament is the one to give permission (should permission be asked). If a couple fails to get permission, then they are simply not eligible to become king or queen. Neeeext!
Maria, Netherlands

I think it is sad that Prince Charles is not getting married in St George's chapel in Windsor Castle. Does it matter if a few couples are then lucky enough to get married there over the following few months. It is physically separated enough to allow adequate security I'm sure.
Tommy Abdy-Collins, Swansea

Pity Charles did not inherit her decision to follow her coronation vows in the way he has conducted his life Tim McMahon, Pennar, Wales

The Queen is doing what she always does best i.e. putting her position and role as monarch first. Pity Charles did not inherit her decision to follow her coronation vows in the way he has conducted his life. Sorry republicans but it will not happen in mine or your lifetimes. Who wants a President Blair?
Tim McMahon, Pennar, Wales

The queen is absolutely right in not attending. As Tim McMahon (above) says it's a pity Charles hasn't followed his mother's example in the way he has led his life. We're not talking about any ordinary couple in the street here. This man is in a very privileged position with responsibilities. He should either accept them or give up his right to the throne and let his son take over.
Bea, London, UK

It seems to me she is being careful here to criticize the performance, and not the performer. A very strong position showing both severity and compassion.
Mark, Vista, USA

Of course, he's her son.
Phil, Guildford

Leave the woman alone! It doesn't matter if the Queen is happy with the marriage. The point is she is giving it her blessing by going to the marriage blessing and paying for the reception! Who are we to criticize her for not wanting to go to a registry office?
Nicola, Edinburgh, UK

This is a clear snub Jim Speakman, Cowplain

This is a clear snub. The marriage, by any means (civil or church) of the heir to the throne cannot be low key by definition. As a father, I could not in all conscience, absent myself from any of my children's wedding ceremonies, irrespective of any disapproval that I may have. A strange family indeed. One that I am glad I do not belong to.
Jim Speakman, Cowplain, Hampshire

There shouldn't even be a wedding.
D Hughes, Nr Chester, UK

Whilst I love to pick up my daily newspaper and usually have fun reading it, however why does the media analyse every statement coming from the Palace and put their version of it. The Queen is not attending leave Charles and Camilla in peace to get on with their lives.
Anne

She went to the first one. How many weddings should your mother have to attend?
Ian, Wroclaw, Poland (ex UK)

By refusing to attend, the Queen has hammered one more nail in the coffin of the British Monarchy, and has made the 'Firm' look more ridiculous than ever. I am sure it was not the Queen's intention, but she has to be thanked for hastening the move towards a Republic.
Jack Harrison, Great Chishill, Cambridgeshire

Well done Ma'am, stay away Peter Smith, Surniton, UK

I suspect that the Queen is not attending because she believes that as the head of the Church of England the marriage is wrong. I therefore hypothesise that she also believes that if Charles marries Mrs Parker-Bowles then he has no right to be king - because he would then have no right to be head the Church of England. Well done Ma'am, stay away.
Peter Smith, Surniton, UK

Yes, if Charles and Camilla want her there.
Rod Cook, Dartford, UK

I think the whole marriage is a disaster, not only for the children of the couple but also for the monarchy. Blair for president.
Jan, the Netherlands

Who cares? Why is this deeply unimportant story the lead item on your website as well as your TV news? Why don't you call the Home Office and ask them if there's anything going on to do with anti terrorism law? Or - perhaps the USA has one of its elected officials visiting nearby?
Jeremy Smith, London, UK

I can't believe this has the top story in the news since yesterday... surely there is more going on in the world?
Sara Fritz, Grantham, UK

Charles and Camilla should elope. Weddings would be enjoyable if family didn't interfere and do underhanded things to make the couple unhappy. Sadly, this is common in all levels of society.
Jaylen Fuchs, Birmingham, Alabama, USA

Another right royal mistake! Despite all offered explanations this will be perceived around the world as a massive snub to both Camilla and Charles. But the royals were never fully "in touch" with their "subjects". This marks the beginning of the end of a monarchy in Britain.
Mike Wigan, Wigan, UK

Why not just take a Palace statement at face value for once? John Rees, Tokyo, Japan

Why is every aspect of this wedding given a negative spin in the media? Why not just take a Palace statement at face value for once? Quit the carping, accept the situation and show some regard for a couple's feelings.
John Rees, Tokyo, Japan

The Queen is a full-grown woman and has a right to opt out of any function, be it a state or private ceremony. Again, the media is thinking on their own, and is not respectful of any decision another person makes - like it's their business. She is the Queen you know!
Chris K, Williamsville, USA

If the Queen does not attend the wedding, it absolutely means she does not approve! She should have the guts to say so publicly. When Charles is King, and he will be... he should make Camilla Queen and kick the rest of them out!
James Alexander, Allentown USA

I think Her Majesty is quite right not to attend the marriage ceremony. Thank goodness she has morals and principles in this whole issue. I think she is honouring her responsibilities as supreme head of the Anglican Church. She is also not allowing unnecessary taxpayers' and public money to be spent on an event which should be conducted away from the media circus. After all, this supposed wedding has been on the cards ever since they met some 30 years ago.
Christopher Brayne, Charlotte, USA

Who gives a damn? The whole thing is just so out of date. Why is the media devoting this time and effort to it?
Adrian, London