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Monday, 19 August, 2002, 13:47 GMT 14:47 UK
Are British men wimps?
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American actress Gwyneth Paltrow has described British men as being useless when it comes to the dating game.
In an interview with Now magazine, the Hollywood star said she would be happy to accept if a man invited her out for dinner. However, during her last visit to this country only two plucked up the courage to ask her out. Ms Paltrow said: "British people don't seem to ask each other out on dates. "If someone asks you out, they're really going out on a limb, whereas in America it happens all the time." Her comments follow an article by Canadian journalist Leah McLaren who described British men as being "repressed homosexuals" who "live in abject fear of being left alone with an unknown woman". Do you agree with Gwyneth Paltrow's comments? Are British men wimps? Tell us what you think.
British men are not wimps, they just don't mess around playing games as much. Personally I think most guys would just assume our Gwynnie was just too high maintenance to bother with, like many American women I've met.
Cathy, Australia
My first husband was Canadian, my second is American. I lived in the UK until I was over 30, and although I had lots of British born boyfriends, they all seemed to lack "follow through" when it came to making a commitment. Don't get me wrong, even now I am still friends with men that I was at school with. Ironically, in at least two cases they have said they wished they had been more aggressive with regard to pursuing me romantically. Perhaps, as in the case of Gwyneth Paltrow, it's just a case of wrong place, wrong time.
Gee, thanks Gwyneth for that little pearl of wisdom! Don't you think maybe we got enough on our hands with the likes of Geri Halliwell setting a bad example for the upcoming generations of young ladies? Give us a break! We're only rubbish at pulling because we've just had to put up with a generation of selfish ego-centric lager ladettes, all masquerading under the delusion that they are somehow redressing the balance of sexual bigotry. If you really wanted to find out what a real man is like Gwyneth, then all you had to do was ask.
The British sense of humour - taking the mick out of eachother - tends to make dating more of a game over here. It's to do with the British not liking to show their emotions as much as say Americans and their pride.
Pete, UK
I've read one too many articles from Ms McLaren about the hordes of men who have yet to satisfy her discriminating standards on this side of the Atlantic as well as your end. So, on behalf of the Canadian public, I apologise for her slanderous characterisations. Chin up, lads!
Hana Queldi, Pakistan
OK Gwyneth, see you at the Tokapi Kebab and Pizza Emporium down the High Street, 2:30am, don't wear anything nice, kebab sauce don't come out of designer dresses.
I come to the UK almost every year for at least a month since 1992. Each time I come I meet at least three men eager to date me. You see it's the impression a woman leaves in men's minds that attracts them. I don't think I agree with Gwyneth Paltrow. Something's wrong with her.
Here's a generalisation for you: All American actresses are stupid, spoiled and prone to generalise about everything.
Hugh, England
I can't believe her snobbism. Gwyneth! Please stick to dating B grade celebrities. You're not welcome in the real world. Right oh I'm off to catch the bus to me allotment.
Gwyneth-
I'll ask if you pay. I think you're extremely fit and well worth a few hours. We'll have a laugh, I'll introduce you to some really good bits of British culture, it'll be fun. You're an absolute honey and I look forward to an evening of laughter, exploration and a bit of a snog too, if you're up for it. I'm on holiday for a couple of weeks, so how about mid September if you can get the flights? I'll pick you up at Heathrow. XX
Is this the Gwyn's version of "If a woman doesn't fancy me she muct be a lesbian"?
Gutted - I was one of the two guys who asked her out - and she said no!!
I was hoping it was because of the competition.
If Gwyneth Paltrow "only dates toffs" in Britain then surely they are the only Brits she is qualified to speak of. Obviously these toffs are looking for a 'gel' just like Nanny and, we all know Gwyneth is totally self-obsessed and bereft of that mothering instinct.
I am a woman and feel what Gwyneth has said is quite unfair. The guys I have gone out with over here have been well-mannered and gentlemen in all meanings of the word. American women are well known for being quite forward and loudmouthed - may be that is what has kept the English men at bay.
Ian, England
Englishmen have their priorities right enough and it usually starts with football, Friday nights out with mates and then maybe relationships and family may just get a look in after that. Romance I don't think is high on the English gents' list of priorities. I have certainly seen a difference since living away.
I think maybe why British men are so lame at asking out women is because when a British woman says no, she'll want everyone to know about it!!
I bet if a British bloke said this load of tosh about women of any country, there would be uproar amongst the feminists.
Maybe we should all realise that equal rights mean equal rights. Not just when they suit your gender.
No names mentioned, Miss Paltrow.
By the way, were you in Coronation Street or something, it is just that I have never heard of you?
If Gwyneth isn't good enough for Brad Pitt then she's not good enough for me.
I think British men are scared of asking women out. I have had loads of relationships and only three of those started with me plucking up the courage for weeks on end to ask ladies at work out on a date. Every time I thought they would think I was ugly and laugh at me; but every time they have said "Yes". The last one was yesterday afternoon. I'm still buzzing with excitement now!
Oh yes, of course they are. I just make a sweeping generalisation about the entire male population of the British Isles without knowing 99% of them. You'd be better off asking some thought-provoking questions for a change.
OK, we don't look good in shorts, with our white, chicken legs BUT I think we're just more chilled out and less in your face about dating. Gwyneth is a lovely girl but she's certainly not my cup of tea and I wouldn't ask her out - my wife will be pleased to hear.
Gavin, Switzerland (ex-UK)
She's obviously never been out in Newcastle on a Friday night.
Gwyneth, maybe British men aren't so SHALLOW - US guys see a pretty girl, go and ask her out to dinner without even having a conversation with her - it's all so superficial.
Have some dignity Gwyn..!
At least in the UK guys will have a conversation with you first so they know if they like you. Maybe Gwyneth falls down at the having a personality stage which is why the UK guys are ignoring her.
Mark, Staffordshire, UK
Well, I for one would like to ask Gwyneth out for a date, but in the rarified heights that she normally inhabits she doesn't meet us REAL MEN.
Here I am, I have done you the honour of coming to your country, now you must all fancy me.
As Del would say, "What a bow wow!"
Steve Jones, UK
I LOVE American girls because it's so easy to make a good impression on them. Open a couple of doors, say please, thank you and keep your elbows off the table whilst eating and they act like you're some kind of miracle man. Every American girl I have been with has complained about the US male and their boorish bravado.
Well I'm sorry, but I'm saving myself for Winona Ryder.
Dates? Surely those are only for women you are already sleeping with?
Helen, US, formerly UK
Ms Paltrow, if you really want to jump in the American gene pool then go for it. Please don't come running to us crying when you spawn a George Bush or Garth Brooks rather than a James Bond or a Trevor MacDonald.
Owen, UK
As an American girl living in the UK I've found that getting dates is like pulling teeth, Painful. Hence, I only fancy and give dates to the brave. My favourite approach was "Would you like to come out with me one night. I think it would be nice to get to know you, instead of just falling into bed drunk"!
Debbie, UK/ ex South Africa
I decided not to ask her out in case she became so overwhelmed she started on one of her acceptance speeches...
Cindy, Farnborough, UK
British men are totally pathetic wimps, I waited seven years for someone to ask me for a date and even the interested parties couldn't pluck up the courage. Finally out of desperation I went out for the kill and now I'm married to a lovely bloke. I really am surprised anyone manages to breed at all in this country!!!
It's a bit rich the Canadians and Americans moaning about us. If you have more than one small beer in the presence of a North American girl you have "alcohol problems"! They're the wimps!
Gwyneth Paltrow might say "wimps", and Leah McLaren might say "repressed homosexuals" but my response to Gwyneth is that I wouldn't fancy a date with her, and to Leah I'd say that I'm not repressed at all, I'm a very successful homosexual, no longer practising, I've got it right, so she and Gwyneth can get lost, they're probably jealous because I get better guys than them.
CM, UK
Years ago a Brazilian girl told me that "American men were all money and no honey", while "Englishmen were all honey and no money". Maybe the English in the US just get fed up with "I just LOVE your accent", or "Which part of London is England in?"
Who's Gwyneth Paltrow? Are we supposed to know her?
I think the reason no-one asked her out is that no man in their rightful mind would want to spend an evening with some salad-eating, anorexic woman who blubbers like a child whenever anyone mentions her family.
After travelling the world and now residing in bonny Scotland, I must admit there is a difference between British men and those from Down Under. It's called an 'accent'. Other than that... all men are the same. I guess if fair Gwyneth isn't impressed by the British lads she can always return to the US of A???
Michelle, London, UK
Did I miss Ms Paltrow when she visited the local Wetherspoons and curry house? Next time I will be sure to offer her the chance to share a burger, greasy chips, pint of promotional beer and a cab home.
I'm not a wimp and I'll hit anyone who says otherwise with my handbag!
Be patient Gwyneth, we'll get around to asking you out.
After the beer and football are finished.
It's all about priorities.
John, Liverpool, England
Hi Gwyneth, fancy going out for a drink?
Has it ever occurred to Ms Paltrow that we may not find her attractive? I for one do not think she is anything to write home about. Maybe the posh people she prefers feel the same!
Mrs Ceri Patterson, Wales
Ceri Patterson, I love you! You are an enlightened woman. Brilliant. I had a similar argument the other day concerning equality with my girlfriend and my mother (I got out... JUST). My girlie commented on the lack of flowers that she receives from me, so I asked where mine were. She was gobsmacked, but realised that I wasn't joking. I think that a nice bunch of white lilies would brighten up my living room hugely. Equality is NOT equal. Ceri you are a gem, spread the word.
Well we're certainly not as shallow and fake as some of her previous lads or people who work in her line of business!!
I wouldn't want to be in the dating game now! Women don't know what they want but certainly know how to tell you what they don't want. It is all to do with both sexes being very much centre-orientated. The ME factor is the biggest problem that any potential dater has to overcome.
Dianne, UK
Maybe all the other blokes she met didn't fancy her?
David, London, UK
To David from London - the name is Gwyneth not Gwynnie and he talks about arrogance!!!
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