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Friday, 7 September, 2001, 11:38 GMT 12:38 UK
Vote for the funniest joke
Graphic, BBC
The search is on by psychologist Dr Richard Wiseman of Hertfordshire University to find the world's funniest joke - all in the name of science.

Researchers will pick a single joke from thousands submitted to a special website by members of the public.

Once the funniest jokes have been chosen, the scientists will read them aloud to a group of people and see how their brain activity changes using MRI scans.

Well, here at Talking Point, we have had a go ourselves at trying to select the world's greatest joke. Here are 10 of the very best selected and voted on by our readers.

You can vote for your favourite at the bottom of the page.

1) There were two eggs in a frying pan. One says to the other: "Blimey, it's hot in here" The other replies: "Arrgggh! A talking egg"!

2) Two sheep in a field. One says to the other: "BA AAA BA AAAA BA AAA". The other says: "Blimey, I was going to say that".

3) A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says: "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed? " "No, because he's really heavy."

4) Two fish in a tank. One says to the other: "How do you drive this thing?"

5) A strip of tarmac goes into the pub and orders a pint. After serving him, the barman asks if he wants to join his mate in the corner. Sitting in the corner is a strip of red tarmac. The strip of tarmac shakes his head violently: "I'm not going near him" it says, "he's a cyclepath!"

6) What did the number 0 say to the number 8? Answer: 'I like your belt'!

7) A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks: "So, why the long face?"

8) Two neighbours are out walking their dogs. One guy - a German shepherd owner - says: "Let's go in that bar over there and have a drink." The other - a Chihuahua owner - says: "They'll never let us in with the dogs." The first replies: "Just follow my lead", as he dons a pair of sunglasses. When the doorman stops him, he says: "But, this is my Seeing Eye dog", and is allowed in. His friend quickly puts on his sunglasses and makes the same pitch to the doorman. The doorman says: "I've never seen a Chihuahua seeing eye dog." To which the guy responds: "WHAT! They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!"

9) Did you hear the one about the dyslexic devil-worshipper who sold his soul to Santa?

10) What do you call a chicken in a shell suit? An egg!


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