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Hitchcock100 Monday, 9 August, 1999, 17:09 GMT 18:09 UK
What if Hitchcock directed...
"If I made Cinderella," Hitchcock said, "the audience would be looking for the body in the coach". The BBC's Barry Neild considers how the director might tackle contemporary classics.

Four Weddings and a Funeral

Here Hitch shows his lighter side, directing a floppy-haired Anthony Perkins as a motel owner who just can't seem to keep his girlfriends.

Hitchcock 100
Watch Anthony squirm with embarrassment as the skeletons of his previous relationships leap out of the closet with hilarious consequences.

Anthony eventually gets his girl, played by Janet Leigh, as the water pours down their faces in a romantic final shower scene.

The film will be re-made, scene-for-scene, a few years later by director Gus Van Sant, this time titled Notting Hill.

Star Wars

Hitchcock makes his first foray into science fiction with this suspense epic from beyond the solar system.

Solo project
James Stewart is loveable rogue Han Solo who, alongside his sweetheart Princess Leia of Monaco, played by Grace Kelly, witnesses a murderous act while gazing out of the rear window of the Millennium Falcon.

Evil Darth Vader, played by Raymond Burr, has murdered Obi-Wan Kanobi and is attempting to smuggle his body out of the neighbouring Death Star in a couple of suitcases when Grace and James rumble his crime. Hitchcock himself makes a cameo appearance as Jabba the Hut.

Titanic

Given his reputation for treating actors like cattle, Hitchcock would have few qualms about matching the rigorous demands of director James Cameron in completing this special effects blockbuster.

Doris Day plays Rose, a headstrong Englishwoman heading for a new life on the doomed liner. Despite engagement to darkly tempered Cary Grant, she soon falls for carefree American artist James Stewart.

Sadly, as the Titanic hits an iceberg (another classic Hitchcock cameo) and upends, James is seized by a dizzying attack of vertigo and tumbles into the ocean.

Meanwhile, Doris clambers aboard floating wreckage and sails into the distance singing Que Sera Sera.

Trainspotting (or Strangers on a Trainspotting)

Never one to shy away from the grimy sides of modern life, Hitchcock makes an ideal choice to direct Irvine Welsh's acid-tongued look at the life of drug users.

The Trouble with Renton
Suave Cary Grant bends his Bristol accent around an incomprehensible stream of Scottish slang to play erstwhile heroin addict Mark Renton, who, accompanied by Sick Boy, a Sean Connery obsessive (played by Sean Connery) tries to avoid the psychotic temper of Begbie (a moustachioed James Mason).

As Cary sinks into drug-fuelled oblivion, Hitchcock employs the services of arch-surrealist Salvador Dali to design the psychedelic backdrop to a narcotically distorted world.

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