How to celebrate Eid

The BBC Urdu service's Masud Alam in Islamabad wants Eid to be a memorable occasion for his family.

The religious part of Ramadan and Eid is personal, so keep it within you Send us your views on this issue

Ramadan is an exceptional time.

There's an exception to having to work, an exception to play, an exception to rules and regulations etc.

Life is easy for the white collar worker whose working hours are cut in half during Ramadan. And the afterlife seems rosy too, if they are fasting.

Even the British bank in our building closes its doors at midday. The reduced hours are not compensated by opening more counters - the result is gross overcrowding on a daily basis.

I'd been standing in a queue for nearly half an hour, without getting anywhere close to the cashier, when two men ahead of me started quarrelling about who was in front.

I'd had enough. I went over to the manager to complain that his staff was enjoying time off at the expense of customers' convenience.

"You know how it is during Ramadan," he said with a knowing wink. "People are fasting, they get irritable, and let the steam out when and where they can," he said, dismissing my contention that trying to serve too many people in too little time may have anything to do with the irritability of customers.

It's all about perceptions.

Could Eid be more cheerful?

A poor bricklayer can work through the day in blistering summer and frigid winter without expecting or receiving special treatment, breaking his fast with tap water and a few dates. And he'll thank God for it.

But an office worker, sitting in a comfortable chair, in an air-conditioned room, somehow deserves shorter working hours and a smaller work load! That's corporate Ramadan for you.

If it means nothing or very little will get done in a whole month, so be it. Even those who are at the receiving end of the tradition wouldn't want to change it. It has become a habit, like having greasy samosas and pakoras for Iftaar, the evening meal, all month long, year after year.

Humour deficit

The more noticeable casualty of fasting is however, the sense of humour.

Pakistani Muslims are not known to have very many funny bones in them; they become decidedly unfunny when dealing with religion. Someone writes a book in Ukraine, someone tells Pakistanis the author has ridiculed Islam in that work of fiction, and a mob will gather in Islamabad instantly to stone the American embassy.

That they haven't read the book and don't know first hand what the nature of the offence is, is as irrelevant as the fact that America has nothing to do with the publishing of that book.

Humour, in this state of mind sounds like sacrilege.

Here's a typical response from a reader on my earlier piece, 'Ramadan - fasting and feasting': "I feel that if you cannot say anything positive on Ramadan and only hope to pander to the non-Muslims, then it would be preferable for you to kindly keep your observations to yourself, wouldn't you think?"

I would have taken this advice seriously and stopped littering the BBC's website space with any more of my irreverent prose, if I hadn't been reassured by other readers.

One of them happens to be a practicing Muslim with his sense of humour intact. "I just read your article about fasting. My colleagues are wondering why I'm cackling away to myself like a deranged hyena but I'm content in this perspective of me as I'm currently fasting and have been aptly distracted by your extremely funny and well presented article.

"Thanks for cheering up my Tuesday morning."

Make it special

Cheering up is still on my mind. I am desperate to make this Eid festival, the culmination of the month of fasting, a happy and cheerful occasion for my kids.

This is the first Eid the children are going to have in their parents' native land. I want to make it fun for them - a day to remember and look forward to.

But I have no idea how to make it special. There are no traditions to fall back on and no personal experience to go by.

As a child I dreaded Eids. Awfully hot weather in my home town of Sargodha discouraged going out and my parents' insistence that the kids had to have fun made it impossible to stay home. At the end of the day I was always exhausted with the effort of looking happy.

The day started with prayers - too early in the morning for me. Then a trip to the graveyard to remember the dear departed, or any departed soul if none of your dear ones have made it to the grave yet, as was the case with me.

And then the rest of the day eating vermicelli and fielding the irritating question: "Having fun on Eid, kid?"

Pakistani girls make patterns with henna in preparation for Eid

My kids are smarter than I was at that age. They are not going to pretend they are happy simply because I expect them to be. And visiting graveyards and eating vermicelli with milk and raw sugar is not their idea of fun either.

They have seen Christmas in three different countries, including the UAE, and they are impressed. The tree, the decorations, the carols, the Santa, the stories, and above all the unity of purpose.

It's all about symbols and icons... some basic objects and activities almost anyone can share and feel part of the celebration.

Something fun

Christians didn't get extravagant festive ideas from their scriptures, just as Muslims didn't get the no-fun philosophy from theirs. It's all made up later. Why, Christians even made up Christ's date of birth for collective convenience.

And they haven't even tried to be original with their objects of celebration. The Norway spruce tree is European rather than Middle Eastern.

And it became a mass practice to decorate a tree in or outside one's house in anticipation of Christmas only a couple of hundred years ago.

Jews have their Hanukkah, the Festival of Light, Hindus have their Diwali when they light up and paint intricate organic patterns outside their front door, Sikhs have their Besakhi when they beat drums and dance around bonfires...

Why can't we make up something nice for our prime festival? Something fun for the whole family, whole community? Can't we use some light, colours, songs, games, stories? Anything that's cheerful and most people can join in.

The religious part of Ramadan and Eid is personal, so keep it within you.

The festival part can only work if it's a collective celebration. So let's talk about it. If Eid means anything to you, does the day make you feel a part of the celebration?

What is your Eid like? What would you like it to be?

If you would like to send a comment about this story you can use the form below this selection of comments.

---

I completely agree with Mr. Masud with Muslims not having fun. I would especially point out on Eid day when I take my kids on Eid prayers and the Maulana is still talking about the things as cruelty happening in Kashmir/India/Pakistan etc. For one moment I feel like telling the Imam my kids are here to enjoy Eid please let it go for One day. Also if anyone haven't watched "Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World" by Albert Brooks and you will find your answer why Muslim world is missing all the Colors.
Najam Zahir, USA

I am an international student, here in Canada. On Eid, I take the whole day off from work and classes (the university allows holy days). Eid allows me a time to chill with my friends, dressed up in "desi" attire that which we won't normally. So, Eid is a day of excuses - excuse to take a day off, excuse to bunk from classes, excuse to hang around all day with friends, an excuse to roam around in "shalwar kameez" in downtown Montreal! Seldom do i get to celebrate excuses...Its Fun! Let us make it more fun by adding more of our personal experiences to it!
Ahmed Bilal, Canada

Is this news? Did something happen somewhere? No? This is some ones personal opinion and it should be under some blog or editorial category. Anyway, Pakistanis do have some funny bones but we take religion seriously, you guys can go ahead and make fun of whatever you want, we can't, but we can still laugh at ourselves
ahmad mushtaq, pakistan

My grandfather's loud cries for my brother to wake up for morning prayers, the loud banging of the wooden doors, and the sweet sound of the city slowly awakening, are the first indications of Eid in my home. Every year, my family travels to Hyderabad to spend Eid with my grandparents. The day of Eid is spent waiting for guests to arrive, admire our clothes, and then give us our Eidie (money). Eid dinner is what I look forward to the most because every possible dish that I could ever desire is laid out and on Eid and the concept of dieting instantly disappears. Eid day is usually quite boring, but that in itself becomes a part of the memory. The fun and festive part of Eid is the night before, Chand Raath. The relief that Ramadan is finally over and the hustle and bustle of the brightly lit bazaars filled with beautifully arranged colorful bangles, and countless henna parlours, create the festival part of my Eid, a time for the whole family to enjoy and celebrate.
Jehan Riar, Pakistan

I think I do agree with you that Eid should be much more than vermicalli and eating. As living abroad from my family for many years, I think often that Eid is boring without your family, I think there must be something we can do for our children so they can enjoy this day. May be some one have any idea what could be done.
Ghazala Naseem, Norway

I believe the writer has yet to understand the true meaning and concept of Eid as it is obvious from his column that he has never enjoyed Eid in a proper way. Let me ask him a question before discussing anything further "do you fast?". If no, then that's why you don't know the reason why Muslims enjoy Eid more than Christians enjoy Christmas and Hindus Diwali. But if you do fast and yet you want Eid to be celebrated in a more festive manner than you should really ask yourself whether you want Eid or Christmas or even Diwali and Besakhi.
Ali, Uk

Masud, I have read some of your articles and I must tell you that I find them extremely boring and even offensive. In your articles you have mostly negative things to say about Pakistan and its people. There are enough people writing negatively about our country already, do you think you will sell more like this? Are you trying to tell us that there is absolutely nothing good about Pakistan and its people? I must tell you that I find your writing sickening! BBC, I thought you were known for fair and balanced journalism. Can you please tell me if this person ever has anything positive to say about Pakistan?
annoyed, United States

BBC has the knack of publishing all kind of negative and stereotypical article about Muslims and Islam in general. This is nothing different. It looks like our festival is very depressing and we are looking to get out of it in any way possible. I am living in US for the last 7 years and I still consider the Eid back in Bangladesh as the best part of my life. We had a great time with family, went out to buy new clothes right before Eid, going up to the roof with friends to see the new moon and then bursting crackers and finally getting together with family on Eid day. We also received Eidi(money) from elders. All in all it was a wonderful way to celebrate a great occasion. Moreover Eid festivals continued for few days with us visiting various relatives and having good food. The cable channels also came up with numerous special dramas and shows. Compared to this, Christmas is just a one off day where people just get together and they are done. Just putting up a lighted tree doesn't mean much. Anyhow, this kind of negative articles published by BBC about Muslims on a regular basis, does not show the neutrality of the editing team at all. I hope you will show a more balanced view in future articles.
Nayeem Shams, Bangladesh

In my opinion, Happiness in Eid comes from the feeling of having completed a month long fasting and prayers. The collective feeling of happiness and it's association with this achievement is unique. Dressing up in your best clothes and go to your relatives to greet them and have sweets and collect Eidi. Have Eid Milan parties of your family in the evening where you play tambola and have dinner together. Having a long weekend to do whatever you please to do are good enough reasons to long for Eid. People who don't have close family bonds or relations and don't enjoy being in their company may feel bored or left out and would want to have other activities in order to have fun.
Mustansir, Australia

I loved your article and made me remind previous Eids i had in pakistan.
Salman Hameed, Canada

Why are you trying to make EID like a non-Muslim holiday? If we don't have any colors, symbols, or icons then why do keep insisting that we should have these things. Like you said, many things with the Christians were added later, do you want to start making up stuff for EID and have the future generations think it was all written down and be misleaded?
Raja, USA

"The religious part of Ramadan and Eid is personal, so keep it within you" As much as I would love to identify with this article, I cannot help but feel that along with the children you too have witnessed every creed and color of festivities and now would like Eid to be as presentable as at least a European Christmas? At the risk of being counted among the non-humorous, I would say that Eid allows you to celebrate in your OWN way. It only demands a collective prayer. You see? religion in these parts is still a religion :) and it is difficult to change it by as much as saying 'why can't we make up something...' Making up new traditions for the collective will never go down well. Indeed, you are advised to keep the festivities part to yourself too! I mean no one will barge in and tell you "Hey that's not how you celebrate Eid!" ... Like so many of the elite of this country :)
Gibran Akram, Pakistan

I was born into a Muslim family that for some reason seemed to celebrate Christmas only - I assume it's because that's when we were home. I am now married to a Jew and have a daughter. I would very much like to celebrate Eid but for the life of me haven't got an idea how - but I might borrow an idea from your reporter and start by making vermicelli in milk.
Hasina L, Toronto, Canada

After having lived in the US for over thirty years I fully concur with mr.alam's evaluation on the Eid festivities. Unlike Christmas or Diwali celebrations where these holidays are full of fun things to do and exude a feeling of unity and caring for humanity, Eid celebrations on the other hand are extremely monotonous and stale with an offensive display of wealth by the celebrants devoid of any equality amongst the faithful. I wish that Eid celebrations would be just like Christmas and Diwali!!!!!
Omar Khan, Pakistan<

Terms & Conditions

Click here to return