Mark Denten
Political correspondent The Politics Show North East and Cumbria
Massage beds, moats, multiple claims for bed sheets.
Pick your favourite MP expenses story, let's face it there have been enough of them.
Some retiring MPs in the north are in line for six-figure payoffs. Mark Denten reports.
But if some of our Honourable Members feel its all too much and choose to pack in the day job there are compensations, big compensations.
Retiring MPs get much more than a gold clock and a firm handshake - they get lots and lots of taxpayers money.
Seven Northern MPs are retiring at the next election.
Between them the Politics Show has worked out that taxpayers could end up paying £640,000.
Resettled MPs
Departing MPs pick up a good pension which can be up to £40,000 a year.
But there is more.
They also get a resettlement grant designed to help them adjust to life after Westminster.
The amount varies on the age of the MP and how long they have been in Parliament.
MPs can also claim up to £40,799 in a winding up allowance which pays for office costs and staff redundancy pay.
So just how much will our retiring MPs get?
Relocation, relocation...
Bill Etherington has been Labour MP for Sunderland North for 17 years.
He will step down at the next election and pick up £48,101 in relocation allowance.
He can also claim up to £40,799 in winding up allowance.
So when he heads off into retirement the taxpayer may have to shell out up to £88,900.
Bill Etherington MP - stepping down after the next election
He told me how the system works:
"The winding up allowance for the office includes paying off leases, redecorating the place and paying staff off after they've been made redundant.
"Every penny of this has to be accounted for. The other amount the Resettlement grant I think of in terms of a severance payment"
And he says he fully intends to take the money:
"I'll take anything I'm entitled to. I mean if I was to say well I'm not going to take £48,000 or whatever it is, do you think that would make society any better off?
"Do you think that would help a poor person?"
Money, money, money
But it is not just retiring Labour MPs who will benefit.
Hexham Conservative MP Peter Atkinson will step down next year and could pick up a resettlement grant of £53,164 plus his winding up allowance.
Peter Atkinson could pick up a resettlement grant of £53,164+
Carlisle's Eric Martlew will get an entire year's salary of £63,291 plus up his winding up allowance.
The final bill to the taxpayer could be over £104,000.
Harrogate and Knaresborough's Liberal Democrat MP Phil Willis has become embroiled in the expenses scandal this week.
But at least he has something nice to look forward to when he retires, a cheque for £36,708.
Winning back trust?
After a dramatic week in politics all the talk seems to be of reform - a determined effort by the politicians to win back our trust.
So can we still afford to pay our retiring MPs thousands as they head gracefully into the sunset?
MPs severance pay
MP name
Relocation allowance
Winding Up allowance
Total
Billy Etherington
£48,101
£40,799
£88,900
Peter Atkinson
£53,161
£40,799
£93,960
Eric Martlew
£63,291
£40,799
£104,090
Phil Willis
£36,708
£40,799
£77,507
Source: House of Commons Library
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