Australians make sad Bali return

By Kylie Morris BBC correspondent in Bali

Many of those killed in the Bali bombing were young travellers and the island used to hold a very special place in the minds of young Australians in particular. But Kylie Morris, who is Australian herself, says the events of 12 October 2002 changed all that.

Bali was a holiday paradise within reach for Australians

Bali was once so much part of Australian life that it inspired a homage in pop. A band called Red Gum released a song called "I've been to Bali too".

It was an instant hit 20 years ago - a catchy little study of how virtually every Australian had now been to the Indonesian island.

It was the destination of mass appeal. In country towns teenagers saved, check-out chicks cut back and surfers scrimped to pay for that once in a lifetime trip overseas.

Of course, secretly you hoped you might go on and backpack through South-East Asia, on to India and maybe, eventually, get a bar job in London.

But Bali was the start, somewhere you could dip your toe into the rest of the world safe in the knowledge that there you could buy Aussie beer and you could surf.

Tai-chi and chop suey

Strange things were happening in Australia around that time.

I never made it to Bali until this week - now, finally, I've been too - but not for a holiday

Paul Keating, the then-prime minister, had declared Australia was in fact now Asian.

It made sense. We couldn't really be European, most of us didn't want to be American and Australasian gave us only the New Zealanders for company.

Suddenly at high school we were no longer struggling with French, German and Latin. Instead it was Mandarin, Japanese and Bahasa Indonesian faster than you could stir fry noodles.

In my home, my mum learnt how to make chop suey, my sister started doing Tai-chi and at the school where my dad worked, the classes were crammed with Cambodian, Vietnamese and Chinese students.

But political and economic changes have seen Australia again step back from Asia.

Seeds of doubt

The repercussions of the Bali bombing have again sown the seeds of doubt in Australian minds about where our place is.

Now Australians travel to Bali to remember, not to relax

I never made it to the Indonesian island of mass appeal until this week. Now, finally, I've been to Bali too. But not for a holiday. I came to cover the anniversary of the blast that killed 202 people.

Eighty-eight of those were, of course, Australian. You can see many of their faces now.

The rugby players, the party girls, in photos that have been pinned to the fence around the old Sari nightclub site. In about the place where the van which carried the bomb must have been parked now there's a makeshift memorial. Those who are grieving still have pinned the photos up there with messages of bereavement and love.

I met one Australian mother and discovered the power of a photograph of someone you love.

Angela Vascon's son Josh was 22 and had just arrived in Bali when he went with his mates to the Sari club for a drink. Many of them survived, but he didn't.

She came back this week to remember him. Angela fits in well in Bali. She brought Josh here on family holidays and has always loved the place.

But this week she returned brittle with grief. She admits she still can't sleep, can't really settle to do anything because she is so overwhelmed by her loss.

Amazing luck

Before they left Australia, something extraordinary happened to Angela and her family. The police gave them three photographs that had been salvaged from a film inside a disposable camera, found at the Bali nightclub site.

The pictures showed Josh in the hours before he was killed inside the club. He's there in a blue t-shirt, with his cap turned backwards and a wide holiday smile.

But among the images one was haunting Angela. It showed Josh and one of his friends standing next to a Sari club waitress - a beautiful young woman with another wide smile.

Bali still has its beauty, but the innocence has gone

Angela was desperate to know whether she might have survived and if she had, then perhaps she'd remember Josh. Perhaps they spoke. Perhaps he told her something that Angela could hold on to.

In an amazing stroke of luck, a Balinese woman who Angela showed the photograph recognised the girl. On an island of three million people, it was extraordinary coincidence.

Yes, the girl had survived, but had been terribly burnt. Phone calls were made. Waiyan Surani was found.

But it would take a three hour drive to the north of the island for Angela to see her. She didn't hesitate. This was a gift.

Piece of puzzle

We were all in tears when they finally met. Waiyan did remember Josh. She remembered he'd asked her to come back out into the club for the photo to be taken.

Angela was overwhelmed. She told her, "You're a beautiful girl and you met my beautiful boy."

Another piece was now in place for this woman struggling to understand what had happened.

Angela says she'll always come back to Bali and she says all Australians who love the place should do the same because she thinks Bali is an idea more than a place and it's an idea worth keeping alive.