Wales: First Minister's Questions (15/06/04)

Rhodri Morgan marshals a lacklustre session

Sir Winston Churchill once said that man should be magnanimous in victory, and defiant in defeat.

In the Welsh assembly this week, assembly members were neither.

In the mid-June heat politicians proved they can crow in any weather. But it seemed defiance had gone for a post-election break to bask in the afternoon sun.

Granted, First Minister Rhodri Morgan hesitated when he was asked to immerse himself in the waters of Labour's successes. Wisely he opted for dipping his toe, rather than diving in as opposition members queued up to belly-flop on Labour's failings.

Mike German (leader of the Liberal Democrat group) was first. He ploughed straight into the disastrous Labour losses in Swansea and Cardiff.

The first minister reminded the Liberal Democrat leader that when democracy casts its verdict, there is no point bleating about it.

Mr Morgan seemed content to bleat himself as members egged him on. He was asked about the Rhondda Cynon Taf Council victory by Carl Seargent, (Alyn & Deeside, Labour) and then about Caerphilly Council's change of hands from Jeff Cuthbert (Labour, Caerphilly).

Re-writing history

Then Alun Cairns (South Wales West, Conservative) stunned the chamber, the world and the unknown hordes watching proceedings on the worldwide web.

Mr Cairns claims more mines in Wales were closed by Tony Benn than by Margaret Thatcher and Michael Heseltine put together.

Undeterred by jaunts and heckles, Mr Cairns said it again.

Stunned, Rhodri Morgan had no choice but to abandon his bleating in favour of one of his trademark put-downs: "Mr Cairns must have a PhD in re-writing history from one of Wales' esteemed universities."

As temperatures soared one unidentifiable member of the assembly government diverted the attention of David Melding (South Wales Central, Conservative) by disrobing in the chamber.

Cameras failed to pick up the extent of the ministerial undressing but Mr Melding was prompted to allude to strip poker. Mr Morgan responded with poker face to deny knowledge of the rules of that particular sport.

Watch this space for assembly government initiatives to attract the Strip Poker Cup to a venue in Wales.

You can see First Minister's Questions in full on BBC Parliament from 1500 GMT on Saturday.